A year later

It is a quiet morning in my house on this Saturday morning.  Everyone is still sleeping, including the dogs.  It is cold outside and I'm drinking my first cup of coffee.   This is a common Saturday morning scene in my house on cold February mornings.  After the year I've had it's good to know some things don't change.  It was this week last year that set in motion the changes that were coming, changes I never could have predicted.  As I approach the one year anniversary of dad's passing I miss him but mostly I am comforted that he is finally home and he has no more pain and suffering.  I think about him everyday and it's hard for me to imagine a time where a day will pass and I won't think about him.  The Ausili's move has been difficult to adjust to.  I miss them at my house on weekends.  I miss the four kids being together.  As time marches on I am acutely aware that all things change and yes, all good things eventually come to an end - at least on this side of heaven.  It's another reminder to enjoy each and every second of what life has to offer.  My mom's strokes were the final blow in what was a very difficult year.  Last year at this time we were planning her 67th birthday party.  I can still see her looking gorgeous in her bright yellow sweater on her 67th birthday, none of us having any clue what was on the horizon.  Mom's strokes were another reminder that life is precious and relationships are what matter most!

Basketball

In the next two weeks basketball will wrap up for Jay, and although things can certainly change between now and November (when practice will start) I believe Jay's basketball career has come to an end.  I do not think he will play his senior year.  It saddens me to write that but the truth is it isn't fun for him anymore, and when a sport isn't fun anymore, you shouldn't continue.  Jay has played basketball since fourth grade.  I have enjoyed watching him improve.  There were some years that were really good.  His fourth grade, fifth grade, eighth grade and his freshman year were all positive.  Sadly the last two years have not been enjoyable.  Jay hasn't gotten the playing time I believe he deserves.  Should he be starting?  No, but to see him sit on the bench game after game or to see the coach put him in with 1 minute left in the game with a 30 point game loss was discouraging.  As you can see from these pictures Jay did play.  But his playing time was pretty predictable.  He only played when the team was losing and there was no coming back from that loss.

 The biggest heartbreak of all occurred this week.  Jay had four games.  He played consistently in three of them.  I didn't know what had changed but it was nice to see him play.  The hard part was Mike wasn't there to see it.  Mike had a huge deadline for a client and he literally worked 7 days per week, 14 hour days.  But for the fourth game, Mike was able to attend.  In fact that night my mom came to watch him and so did Mary and John.  As soon as the game started I knew he wouldn't get on the court.  It was going to be a close game but in the end, we lost.  My heart broke for Jay and Mike.

As basketball comes to an end Jay will start looking for a job.  Spring will come which will lead into summer and then fall.  There is a lot of time for him to reflect on what he wants to do.  What I know about me is it's my job to stay quiet in this matter.  Jay has to decide for himself if he will play or not. As his mother, it's been a hard and painful season but I'm certain Jay will make the right decision when it comes time.

The Weather

The weather lately has broken records.  The weather started wreaking havoc on Jan. 12 and continued to unleash it's fury through Jan. 31.  We finally got some relief on Feb. 1 when the temperature went above zero!  This week the lows dropped to 30 below.  It was crazy.  Schools weren't in session.  Businesses shut down.  It was like us Illinoisans forgot what winters were actually like.  Illinois is known for their brutal winters.  We have just been "spoiled" by some mild winters the past few years.  The snow has also been relentless.  I am so thankful that mom, me and Kim spent a week in Florida.  I tell Mike I am so sick of Illinois winters, but we always get through it and when spring comes, it's the best thing ever!