Reflections of 2014

It's New Years Eve and another year has come and gone and what a year it's been.  2014 is probably one of those years I will reflect on fondly for years to come.  I am ending the year with my marriage still intact and happy too!  Not to sound sappy or overly dramatic but I am thankful on a daily basis for my faithful and devoted husband.  Watching my parents marriage implode and now seeing marriages of my friends destroyed, a good marriage is never something I take for granted.  My boys are healthy and although my daily job as being their zookeeper keeps me on my toes, I know the day will come when my home will not be filled with their daily laughter.  However, I doubt I will miss Jay jumping out from every corner to scare me (his new favorite hobby).  I am still loving (and I mean loving) my job.  What a blessing it has been to do a job I enjoy and be at home doing it.  My mother is well and is able to come to many of the boys' sporting events - again this is something that if the day ever comes I will miss her walking into the gym with her bleacher chair in tow, ready to watch her grandsons play some ball.  I've enjoyed witnessing Jay's faith grow.  As many parents can attest to, the middle school age can be tough and trust me, there are many days I have to restrain myself from strangling Jay but the good outweighs the bad.  It's been a blessing to see success and confidence back in Nick's eyes this year.  Mike Ausili likes to affectionately refer to Nick as our "future Navy Seal."  He's tough as nails and strong like an ox.  The sky is the limit for both of the boys.  My prayer for them is they get their identity rooted in Christ.  I look forward to 2015.  I don't make new years resolutions.  I have issues with consistency (ha) so I usually fail miserably with resolutions.  However, I do look forward to upcoming vacations, time with friends and family and maybe (just maybe) Mike can finish another project around the house and I can finally get new furniture.  One can always hope, right? 

Merry Christmas

 This Christmas the weather was great and no one was sick; at least not sick enough to prevent any festivities from happening.  However, that being said our Christmas eve was a bit challenging - mostly due to my children.  I won't dwell on it because as my mom, sister and I all agreed, it was an "off" year and we plan on tweeking things a bit for next year.  See the picture above and how cooperative my children are being - NOT.

 This picture is a good picture into how our evening went.  My mom has a blank stare on her face - like can we get this evening over with?  Jay and Luke are staring off into who knows where, Lauren has her eyes shut and Nick is just having his ADHD moment which was pretty much how he was all night long.  Sigh. 

 The boys in their new jammies before bed on Christmas eve.  Slowly but surely, Santa is becoming obsolete in our house.  Jay no longer believes and I really don't think Nick does either but he appears to still be playing along.  However, he refused to write a letter to Santa on Christmas eve which went right along with the mood he was in and no one asked to put out cookies for Santa.  On Christmas morning, Santa got all four of us Harlem Globetrotter tickets and Jay had to comment that Santa uses the same wrapping paper as mom does. Usually I try to be more discreet but again, I could tell that Santa is starting to die his own death in our house.  Does it make me sad?  Not really.  I'm usually ready to cross a  bridge and move onto the next season.

 Speaking of how things change....I remember many, many Christmases where Mike would spend the entire morning putting together toys but not this Christmas.  The boys put together all of their own things.  Nick got a new sled which Jay helped him put together.  The big hits this year: Nick got a R/C helicopter from nana (which he loves), a circuit electronic things (from Nana) and his sled.  Jay got a Galaxy Pad.  It was so relaxing this year.

 I remember past Christmases where it snowed (BAD) and Mike would spend an hour or so trying to put together toys (and never finishing in time before he had to move to the next job) then he'd have to plow the driveway so our family could get in, then he'd have to marinate the meat we were making.  Then one Christmas our basement flooded.  There have certainly been some stressful times but this year was not one of them. 

                                                 Nick reading directions for one of his toys.

 The Ausili's came over on Christmas day as did Mike's parents.  For some reason I got a ton of picture of our dogs.  They were in the thick of things (as usual) all day. 

 Our crazy Cole doesn't care how he gets petted, as long as someone is petting him.  Check him out in the picture below.  He cracks us up.

 Curtis with his favorite girl, Copper.  Copper loves to lay on the tile right in front of the fire. 

                                                     A boy and his dog.  Love.

It was a wonderful Christmas.  The ages of the kids are: Jay: 12, Curtis: 12, Faith: 14, Nick: 8, Lauren: 7, Luke: 3.  Although Christmas even didn't quite go as we had envisioned, we were all well, we were all together and really that's all that matters.  Merry Christmas to all. 

Skating & Singing

 I took a day of vacation yesterday and although the day was busy and my children are adjusting to being on Christmas break (Hello fighting) the day was really enjoyable.  I took my boys, Faith and Curtis ice skating.  My friend, Sarah and two of her boys met us there.  Look at Faith right in the middle of all the boys.  She never seems to mind, bless her. 

 I can only imagine what these 5 boys are saying to each other, "If we take off from this angle at this speed, we might be able to go around this corner faster than a speeding bullet."

 Last evening Laura and I went to my dads nursing home for "Socks for Seniors" night.  This is our 3rd year doing it and probably our best year.  We both seemed a lot more organized for it this year.  We collected 116 socks so that every resident of the home receives a pair of socks.  We sings carols to them and pass out socks.  We also get cards donated to us from a business in town and we get 116 cards signed by kids within our school district.  As you can imagine the residents really enjoy it and my dad loves it; once he can accept the fact that he's up past his bedtime.  Ha.  We had a smaller group this year but this was the first year that although we did it during xmas break, it was a week night and many adults still have to work the next day.  We had just enough kids though to make it special for the residents.

 Even my dad gets into the Christmas spirit.  Jay was in charge of pushing his grandpa around during the evening.  By the time we got ready to leave, Jay whispers to me, "I have sweat in places I didn't know were possible."  Ha.  The nursing home is always HOT and pushing around grandpa Brad is no easy job - hence Jay's expression below. 

Another Socks for Seniors night was successfully done.  I really hope this is something Laura and I can keep doing.  It's also something that is special to my sister and I as it's a way of doing something nice for our dad during this time of year. 

My Christmas Season

Christmas is only 3 days away.  As usual the entire month of December flew by but this season was different for me.  I was more intentional in how I organized my time.  Last year I was so busy and so overwhelmed and it didn't sit well with me.  My work load last year had a lot to do with it and that is something I had no control over.  I just kept treading water, very unsuccessfully by the way.  In years past illness has played a part in shutting my family down for weeks in December.  This December has been different.  My work load has been manageable and illness has not struck my family (so far, knock on wood).  My shopping was done weeks ago and my wrapping was finished days ago.  My Christmas cards were mailed out the first week of December and I was able to make peppermint cup cakes for my friends and neighbors.  I made a red velvet cake for Jay's teachers and I was able to perform three acts of kindness this season.  This month I used my last 2 days of vacation.  I went to Nick's Christmas program at school and helped with his class xmas party.  Today I'm using my last day of vacation and taking my boys, Faith and Curtis ice skating.  I am loving every minute of this season and this year when Dec. 26 comes along, I really will be sad to see it end. 

Nick's Christmas Program

 My mom and I look forward to the school Christmas program every year.  After this year, I'll only have two more left.  However, I've figured out that my friend, Erin, has a 3 year old so I may have to come and see Natalie perform for years to come.  This year there was a new music teacher and she had big shoes to fill and boy did she fill them!  She did a wonderful job and added some new touches to the program that everyone seemed to enjoy.  She played the piano, the kids performed from the bleachers and the older kids performed little skits throughout the program.  The picture above is Nick's class.  It's not a good picture and you really can't see Nick but I tried.  At least you get the jist of it. 

 After the program Nick had his class Christmas party.  He and a few of his friends even got their picture taken with Santa. 

And Nick's Christmas angel this year is Mrs. Westerfield!  What a wonderful 3rd grade year he is having.  What a blessing! 

Life with Cole......one year later

 Cole became a part of our family on Dec. 27, 2013 so here we are nearly one year later.  There was certainly more of an adjustment period with Cole.  Mike describes him perfectly.  Mike likes to compare Cole to a fraternity brother.....a college boy with really good intentions but no manners and a really" DUH" demeanor.  You will often hear all of us saying, "Cole, come here ya big dope."  He's obsessed with food, he eats his own poop and Copper's too, he has no concept of personal space and he's down right obnoxious but even with all those character flaws, one look at the picture above and you'll know why we've kept him as a permanent part of our family.  Cole LOVES Nick and Nick loves Cole.  It took awhile to get that point.  In the beginning Cole annoyed Nick but over time Nick has truly warmed towards his dog and the two of them are like Jay and Copper, two peas in a pod. 

 Despite Mike's frustration with Cole, he enjoys him and Cole has provided our family with a lot of laughs through the year.  He's like an old man who doesn't know he's funny.  Cole perches (hence the picture above) while Mike pets his neck.  He loves it.  Cole has been known to literally fall over from being petted.  He's like one of fainting goats.......all of the sudden he's sitting and the next thing we know he's on the ground! 

And I just threw this picture in, just because.  I thought it was super cute of Jay and Nick........Mike has a bit of a cheesy/fake grin but I like it anyway. 

Taking one for the team

I debated whether I should title my blog "Taking one for the team," or "Mike's endearing qualities."  I opted for "Taking one for the team," but you'll see why the two titles go hand in hand.  Our family is heavily involved in basketball right now.  Jay is playing, Nick is playing and Mike is assistant coach for Nick's team.  What am I doing you ask?  Driving all over central IL to go to games and putting on weight from sitting in the bleachers.  Our challenge is deciding which parent is going to which game.  This makes it very difficult for Mike because he's committed to helping with Nick's team so Mike has missed several of Jay's games (and I've missed several of Nick's) because Nick either has a game on the same nights or practice.  We don't spend a lot of time thinking about it because it is what it is.  I like to joke that Jay is taking one for the family this basketball season.  Although Mike never coached Jay's teams, he rarely missed a practice and often times would take Jay early so they could practice together.  Now it's Nick's turn.  The past year has been difficult for Nick which in turn was hard on Mike and I.  The ship has finally started to veer and head in the right direction and as any parent can imagine, that makes this mom and dad very happy.  Nick loves his dad helping to coach his team and although Nick's attitude was less than happy when he started basketball, his attitude has slowly improved.  I have had the pleasure of seeing my husband in a role that I thought I'd never see.  He never ceases to amaze me.  He has gotten to know all the boys on Nick's team and I've never heard him say a negative word about any of them.  He recognizes what skills they need to work on but he sees the potential in all of them which is exactly how it should be in third grade sports but as we all know, sometimes that isn't how it is.  It's all about winning and playing your best players.  I like Mike's philosophy.  He firmly believes that we have no idea what this group of third players will develop into (basketball wise) but there is something in all of them that can be developed to make them better.  Slowly but surely we've seen the team improve, enjoy the game more and playing as a team.  It's been a joy to see.  I wish Jay's season was going as well as Nick but the truth is, it's not.  My dear friend, Laura, gave me excellent advice regarding Jay's situation.  She said that although things may seem really bad, the truth is this experience might be instilling a sense of perseverance and commitment with Jay.  And this may be Jay's first real lesson in learning that life is simply unfair sometimes.

Happy 7th Birthday, Lauren

 The start of December begins with Lauren's birthday and honestly I can't think of a better way to begin the holiday season.  Lauren was born at 28 weeks, weighing only 2 lbs.  She's a testament to the power of God and His healing and her birthday reminds us of the most perfect gift in Jesus. 

 Lauren had a friend over and Kim invited our family for dinner, presents and dessert (of course).  On Lauren's actual birthday I went in to have lunch with her.  I loved it! 

This picture has nothing to do with Lauren's birthday.  We had one of those weekends where we didn't stop and I hate it when that happens but with two boys in activities, it happens.  Jay had a game yesterday and these three stoogies sat together.  This is Nick with Cole & Noah. 

Jesus never lets go

Last night I went to check Jay's phone and I found this as his screen saver.  It was the perfect end to a very busy day. 

Reunited and it feels so good

 Jenny, Faith and Curtis went to Haiti for a mission trip during the week of Thanksgiving.  We saw them before they left but then they left and when one goes to Haiti, there is no contact.  Jenny would post pics every evening on Facebook so that was my only connection to them while they were gone. I thank God they are all home safely and well.  Their trip was a success!  Last night they came out to our house to celebrate Thanksgiving.  Mike had a delicious pork loin and the kids enjoyed each others company in front of the fire. 

 And what's not normal about an evening with friends and having a "plank competition?"  I think Curtis won this one which is pretty good considering that boy just built a house in Haiti all week. 

                                         Nick wanted to read Jenny his report on his flashlight fish. 

                                           Sometimes there just isn't words for these two boys!

It's been a full and blessed weekend.  I was lucky enough to spend Thanksgiving day with my mom and my grandparents (and of course Mike and the boys).  It was a very relaxed and special day.  Today we headed to Uncle Mike's to celebrate the Schmidt family Christmas.  The picture above is of my 85 year old grandparents with most of their great grandchildren (four of them missing in this picture). 

Nick's first basketball game

 Nick played his first basketball game today.  His team is still learning which makes me smile because I've watched Jay and his group since they played together in fourth grade so it's fun for me to watch these boys build their skills.  Nick isn't in love with basketball but I do think if he can change his attitude a bit and give it time, he'll like it more and more.  He still says football is his first love. 

 And here's something I see Mike doing that I thought I'd never see.  Mike is helping with coaching.  He is pretty humble about it and says he's simply helping run drills during practice but Nick loves it (see picture below).  And I gotta say, I think Mike is really, really good at it.  Jay didn't have a game today so he was able to come and cheer on Nick's team. 

Are there any words?  When Nick wasn't playing he had his arm around his dad.  Love. 

A.D.H.D.

Jay and Nick have ADHD and with that diagnosis comes challenges.  However, I know my boys' ADHD is relatively mild compared to many others.  Jay's biggest issue has been and still is his impulsivity.  Nick's biggest issue is the hyperactivity associated with ADHD.  Every morning before school Nick walks/runs on the treadmill for 1/2 mile, nothing strenuous but enough to release some energy before he gets to school.  His teacher tells me it helps him tremendously.  This morning as we were driving to school Nick asks me, "So mom, why do I have to run in the morning if I take that pill that helps me?"  I told Nick he has what is called ADHD and I tell him what it stands for.  His response to me was, "I don't know what the attention problem is but the hyperactivity, well DUH!"  Even Nick knows his hyperactivity is an issue.  Mike has even noticed during basketball practice he struggles with focus.  We've made the switch to no sugar after school.  Another DUH moment but it has helped.  When I think of how I would describe having two boys with ADHD to another parent all I can think to say is get your lifejacket on, get strapped in and be ready for the wild ride.  Oh and keep lots of wine handy!

Nick's project

Nick's 3rd grade class was assigned to research a sea animal of their choice.  Nick knew immediately he wanted to research and create a flashlight fish.  In true Nick form, he knew exactly what he wanted his fish to look like and he worked really hard on his research paper.  Nick and Mike spent many hours in the workshop creating the flashlight fish, from making the plaster, making the stand, to creating the eyes very slowly with hot glue.  Yesterday was an "open house" for the parents to come in and view all the sea animals.  One girl made a turtle from foam and she stuck bright green pins in it and it was really cool.  I love to see the creativity come out in third graders!

A heavy heart

I attended a visitation tonight for a 32 year old man who lost his battle to cancer.  His widow is 36 years old and he left behind two young sons.  I live in a small community and in the weeks leading up to this young man's passing I saw God at work.  Fundraisers were organized, food was made, prayers (and I mean lots of prayers) were prayed, kind words were spoken, Christmas was organized for this family and the list goes on and on.  Although I wasn't very close to this family I was fascinated by their courage, their determination and their absolute love of the Lord.  These situations are hard to understand, in fact for our time on earth, we'll never understand why these things happen but as Christians we have great hope and that was probably the only thing that made me smile when all my thoughts were focused on the deep loss this family feels.  As I grow in my own faith I am starting to realize that in fact you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you and God is working through all of us.  It's like the song says, "God put a million doors in this world to walk through, one of those doors is you."  Amen to that. 

Jay

I just titled my blog, "Jay."  I have a lot to write about Jay.  Seventh grade is a big change from sixth grade, if you ask this momma.  But with every year Jay matures and grows and as Mike likes to remind me of, we are only moving forward, not backward.  What concerns me most right now is I worry if he'll ever figure out his communication skills.  Will he be able to have a conversation with someone without mumbling?  Will he be able to engage in a conversation with absolute eye contact?  Will he remember to thank people without being prompted?  Will he remember to ask his wife how her day was?  And will he even care to call me on Mother's Day?  Thoughtfulness does not come naturally to Jay, I'm just saying.  Yet about a week ago I had another memorable IEP meeting for Jay.  His teachers sang his praises and the common theme I heard over and over again is what a hard worker Jay is.  During the meeting one of the teachers made it a point to tell me how important it is that Jay not be deterred by his struggles in school, that despite his struggles he's been successful and with his work ethic he will be successful in college too.  I really appreciated these kind words.  Jay is an average C student and the pressure to perform these days has reached a whole new level but I still believe the old saying, "If you work hard and try, you will see results."  I do believe that with each passing year I am slowing (and sometimes painfully slowly) witnessing Jay morph into the boy/man he's destined to become.   

Conversations with Nick

I live with two right wing conservatives, Mike and Nick.  Jay is also a conservative but he's not as verbal about it.  Nick on the other hand will tell anyone who will listen.  Last week Nick tagged along with me to my book club meeting.  In November my book club sits down and plans our books for the upcoming year.  We each contribute to what books we do or don't read in the following year.  The beauty of a book club is you get exposed to books that perhaps otherwise you wouldn't have read.  I've certainly found this to be true in my case.  I appreciate all the different personalities and views within my book club.  Just as Nick and I were leaving for book club, he asked me, "Mom, why don't you pick a book about God to read."  I explained to Nick that in our book club we have two rules, no books about politics or religion.  I went on to tell Nick we stay away from those two subjects because people have different views.  Nick looked puzzled by this.  Mostly I think he was a bit appalled that possibly some people could have a different view on the world, especially when it comes to God (that boy loves God and Jesus).  He thought about it some more and then asked, "Mom, do you have a bunch of libs in your book club?"  I laughed out loud. Some day that boy may either be a politician or a pastor - the possibilities are endless! 

For the love of the game

I'm writing once again about sports.  Perhaps I'm trying to figure out where I stand and where my kids fit into all the craziness (sometimes good crazy) of sports.  When Nick wrapped up football, he loved it.  He loved everything about it.  He loved the contact, he loved the running, he loved the plays.  I've seen certain sports (not all of them) turn into cut throat, in it to win it pressure.  I like to win, my kids like to win (especially Nick) but I will admit I'm not highly competitive so this morning when I was listening to the radio, the Illinois State Redbirds football coach spoke about pressure and the "love of the game."  You see his football team is undefeated.  He said recently he noticed his players were playing for the wrong reasons (and yes this was being said by a coach whose team was undefeated).  His players were so focused on being the best, being the greatest, that they had forgotten why they were there and the coach then said something that really spoke to me, "pleasure before pressure."  In other words, don't let the pressure of the game get to you so much that you forget why you play the game.  He encouraged his players to think back to when they were eight years old and playing on their home football fields.  It made me think of Nick and his absolute enthusiasm for his beloved game.  The coach went on to say the fields haven't changed, why have the players?  Let's get back to basic, folks.  Coaches, remember why you coach, if it's just to win, then no offense you need to get out of coaching.  Players, remember why you love the game, if you can't remember then maybe it's time to stop playing.  Parents, encourage your coaches and your kids because sometimes in this wonderful world of sports, encouragement is just what one needs. 

Halloween

 We had such a fun Halloween last night.  We went over to friends who live in another small town.  The weather was freezing but despite the weather the kids were determined to get as much candy as possible.  Mission accomplished.  The pic above is Jay and his friends - left to right; Garrett, Jeremy, Ayden, Jay and Reece. 

This picture is the rest of the Douglas clan and Nick is the crazy kid in the middle who looks like a Russian Yeti.  By the weight of their candy bags I'd say our boys got a lot of candy.  Mike and I were just too tired to pilfer through it (like we usually do) when we got home last night but let's just say I'm enjoying blogging this morning with my coffee and Reeses peanut butter cup. 

My CIC girls

I work with two lovely ladies, Vanessa and Nancy.  My entire unit consists of six other women but they cover the northern part of the state.  I see Vanessa and Nancy more because we cover the central and southern part of our state.  We got together today to introduce Nancy to some of the agents.  We have lots of laughs together and because the three of us work from home, it's a nice break from our office.  I enjoy getting together with these girls and doing some work in in the field.  I'm 3 1/2 years into this job and I'm so blessed.  I've made four really good decisions in my life; accepting Christ, marrying Mike, having the boys and accepting this job!  My job is a blessing and it's an added bonus to work with Vanessa and Nancy!

Jay's big accomplishment

Jay has been playing basketball since 4th grade but this year he actually had to try out in order to make the 7th grade team.  Weeks leading up to try outs I had bad dreams that he would not make it but then I also knew I had absolutely no control over the situation.  I prayed that the coaches would see Jay's potential and strengthens but I also prayed that if he didn't make the team that God would fill that void with something else in Jay's life.  It was a true test of simply trusting God and as the weeks went on I was filled with more peace.  That doesn't mean I didn't worry, I'm human after all.  Jay walked out of try-outs on Wednesday with an envelope in hand.  I was waiting in the car and saw his arms go up in the air.  In that moment I was like a balloon that had just been popped.  I was so relieved for Jay.  This was one situation where Jay's hard work paid off.  His passion is basketball and he participated in a lot of bball camps this summer.  Since we were right on the heels of XC, it was a good reminder that perhaps XC is not Jay's thing but it did serve a purpose.  Jay can run but he's not in love with running long distances.  XC certainly got him conditioned for basketball.  Although I am happy for Jay, my heart is heavy for many boys who did not make it and I've had time to reflect once again on my love/hate relationship with sports.  Times have changed and everything is performance driven.  Jay was one of seven 7th graders that made the team.  Eight 6th graders were chosen to play up with the 7th graders - kind of a hard pill to swallow for the 7th graders who got cut.  One boy in particular has played with Jay since 4th grade.  Basketball is the only sport he plays and he loves it.  He's not the best player, he's not the fastest player but he's all heart and he got cut this year; it breaks my heart.  Sports has gotten so cut throat and if Jay thought XC was pressure, just wait until he realizes he's competing for play time with eight 6th graders.  But on the flip side, sports has provided such an outlet for my boys.  I've noticed that since Jay has been in middle school and been more actively involved in sports, he's truly at his best.  Sports can provide a confidence booster.  I've seen what football has done for Nick this season and it's been wonderful to watch.  Additionally, sports is a motivator.  I can guarantee Jay will work hard to make sure he stays eligible (academically) during the basketball season and as a side note, Jay has never been ineligible.  I don't write that to brag but rather just validating my point that sports often times motivates kids to keep their grades up.  Finally, I am a mother of two boys with ADHD.  Sports have given both my boys something to focus on and keep them out of trouble.  I've tried to balance our busy schedules with down time because every kid needs down time.  Next week basketball will be in full swing for Jay and Nick.  I'm excited to see how their seasons play out!

Foothills Fall Festival

 I went to TN this weekend with Jenny & Sarah.  We had a ball.  It was relaxing and I laughed so much my ribs hurt today.  I love, love, love these girls.  I've been friends with Jenny for 20 years and Sarah has been friends with Jenny for 21 years.  Together the three of us are three peas in a pod.  I adore Jenny and Sarah.  It was such a nice weekend.  It was filled with front porch swinging, sleeping in, staying up late and see lots and lots of concerts.  Friday night kicked off with Pat Benatar.  She's 61 and that woman can still rock.  On Saturday we saw the Swon Brothers (adorable) and on Saturday we also saw Chris Young.  On Sunday night we rocked with Tim McGraw - a vantastic show. 

                                     Jenny's friend, Jessica, from South Caroline came to meet us. 

 

 

See what I mean about front porch swinging.  There is nothing like it.  I have my hair in a towel, Sarah's hair is air drying and Jenny is enjoying a beer.  Gotta love it.

                                        
Sarah and I at the Swon Brothers concert.  She is a big fan.  I knew nothing about them until I saw them perform and they were adorable.  I loved them. 

                                                 Bottoms up is all I can say about this picture.

                                   Friday night at the Festival.  The weather was beautiful!!

                                                              Two of my favorite girls!

I could not have a girls weekend without the cooperation of my boys, especially my husband.  I can leave for the weekend and know my husband has everything under control.  I never worry.  Mike even took 2 days off work just so he could manage things better and so he didn't have to do so much driving back and forth.  The boys and Mike really enjoyed their time together.  The picture above is of the boys on Saturday night after Mike took them to a weenie roast.  Apparently it was a late night as little brother fell asleep on big brothers lap.