Happy New Year

 As I reflect back on 2025 I try to acknowledge things I did well and things I need to improve on.  Certainly 2025 was the year of trips.  I am incredibly grateful I was able to travel so much.  Jay bought his first home in 2025 and as I turn the calendar into 2026 Nick is in the process of buying his first home.  I am not okay but I will be.  The truth is it's bittersweet having my boys move out but more than anything I am so very thankful they are thriving especially since the home market has not been friendly to young Gen-Z'ers.  In 2025 I was very intentional in reading my bible and I say this with humility but I noticed by years end that although I'm not great at memorizing scripture I am no longer biblically illiterate.  However, one of the many beautiful things of following Jesus is that as long as I'm on this earth I will continue to learn and grow in my faith.  I look forward to digging deeper into God's word in 2026.  I'm also going to write more in my blog.  My goal is to blog twice a week.  I'm not going to lie this is going to be challenging for me.  The boys are no longer the entertainment source they use to be (ha) and menopause is challenging for me but I know writing is healthy for me, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  In honor of Charlie Kirk I want to put my phone down once a week, likely on Sundays.  I don't even want to pick it up.  I spend too much time wasting time scrolling. To be honest I can't imagine what a day might look like without my phone so stay tuned on that.   

In 2025 I found tasks for my mom challenging.  I am not proud of this.  I care deeply about her well being but I know I can do better and with God's help I pray I do.  I'm trying to balance all of her needs from a physical, mental, emotional and financial standpoint.  I've also got to do better with my overall health.  I've put on way too much weight and my menopause symptoms are real.  I have to keep moving and for the most part I do well with this but I've become reactive instead of proactive as far as my health goes.  

I look forward to what 2026 may bring, the challenges and the joys.  The older I get the simpler I become.  I love my family, my girlfriends and my God.  I want to be a strong leader for CWA and be a  voice for issues that are near and dear to my heart.  

Merry Christmas

Christmas this year was just different but still so wonderful.  Jay and Hannah are in FL for Christmas this year, soaking up the FL sun.  On Christmas eve me, Mike, Nick and Rylan went to church together and our church was stunning!  This is our second Christmas in the "new" building and this year it's beauty was just breath-taking.  After church the four of us came home and enjoyed lobster pasta made by Mike.  It was so delicious.  

On Christmas morning it was just Mike and I.  Another change that was just different this year.  Nick got up and went to Rylan's.  Mike and I opened presents together.  I got Mike a flame thrower that he really wanted.  I wasn't going to get it for him.  It had a stupid price tag but as I got closer to Christmas I took pity on Mike's long work hours and ordered it for him.  The man does work really hard and works very long hours.  I am so glad I pulled the trigger and ordered it for him.  It was worth every penny.  Mike was beyond happy!  

On Christmas morning we went to Kim's house for brunch, another difference this year.  We never go to Kim's on Christmas morning and we certainly never do brunch.  That being said we all really enjoyed it.  

 Rylan and I were matching on Christmas Day.  Nick and Rylan stopped in at our house on Christmas day, in between their christmas' with Rylan's family.  On Christmas night Kim and family and Uncle Steve came out for dinner.  Mike grilled steaks and we relaxed.  Everyone went home early as me, Mike and Craig had to work on Dec. 26.  

Although this Christmas was different, one thing remains the same.  The birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ, was sent to this world to save us from our sins.  It's never lost on me what a beautiful gift He was and is.  To think God loved us so much that He sent His only son to this decaying, morally corrupt world.  As a mother I would never have sent Jay or Nick on such a mission.  I would want to keep them safe and secure in paradise.  But John 3:16 tells us God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.  Thanks be to God for this glorious gift of salvation.  

Happy 53rd Birthday, Mike!

About a month ago I decided I would surprise Mike with an overnight trip to Galena for his birthday.  I got the time off work for us and I started planning.  I scheduled a whiskey distillery tour (picture above) and booked a room for us at the historic Desoto House Hotel right in downtown Galena (see picture below). We ate dinner at Log Cabin Steakhouse on his birthday night and it did not disappoint.  We got up on Saturday morning and did a little shopping and headed home.  I have to say it was SO nice to get away for 24 hours.  We had such a nice time and Galena was so pretty dressed up for Christmas.  Mike and I are adjusting to this new stage of life.  We celebrated Christmas with our family a few weeks ago and it really gave us some free time in the days leading up to Christmas.  I think Mike and I may do this every year for his birthday, just break away from the hustle and bustle for a quick getaway.  As I write this this morning I am preparing for John and Judy to return.  They were with us for six nights and then left to visit her family in Indiana.  They return tonight and will stay with us until Christmas Eve.  Jay is in Florida with Hannah's family and Nick and Rylan have been busy attending Christmas events with her family.  This Christmas season has been a season of change and as the years continue to go by change is just part of it.  This Christmas I'm thankful for my marriage, that Mike and I have put in the hard work with parenting and are seeing the harvest.  

 

Christmas past

 During this time of year I always remember Christmas at our home on Woodland Ave.  Back then I was just a kid and so was Kim.  Our parents were married and happy except for that one Christmas (but that's another blog).  They hadn't gone through their divorce.  The brain tumor that would dibilitate my dad hadn't happened yet and the stroke that would disable both my parents wasn't even on our radar.  At that time my parents were in great health, enjoying the season with their girls.  I have such fond memories of those times and I'm forever grateful to my parents.  When I reflect on my dad he was always the best at Christmas and on vacation.  I miss him the most at Christmas time.  He just made everything fun.  Every Christmas morning Kim and I would wait with anticipation at the top of the stairs while dad made his way downstairs first to ensure Santa had indeed been at our house.  We'd attend Christmas eve service at our church, not knowing that one day there would be a Christmas eve service that we'd walk out of in tears because Kim, mom and I couldn't get through the service without dad (after their divorce).  

My boys are now 23 and 19.  Christmas doesn't look the same as it did when they were kids but that's okay.  It doesn't make our time together any less special.  My prayer is that one day when Jay and Nick are in their fifties they too will reflect on their childhood Christmas' with fondness.  We had some stressful times but I can laugh about it now.  There was the Christmas our basement flooded.  The Christmas where we got a TON of snow and Mike had to spend the entire morning plowing snow because we were hosting that year.  There was also the Christmas Jay got sick (2007) and barfed all over.  All of those memories are pretty typical for most families.  

I'm so grateful for parents who loved me, who ensured my childhood Christmas' were special.  I'm thankful for my precious boys so that I could experience Christmas through their eyes.  This season of my life may look different but it doesn't make it less special.  

1 Peter 3:15

 "Instead you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it."

This is the verse the Lord placed on my heart in the middle of the night.  The Lord is up to something but I have no clue what.  For example weeks ago I listened to a podcast about how the Lord speaks to us through dreams.  What I ingested from that podcast really stuck with me.  I'm noticing I'm dreaming more lately and waking up with people on my heart to pray about so I'm spending time in prayer during the night.  But last night this verse from Peter woke me up.  I knew it was 1 Peter and the verses that came to me was 3:5, probably because I'm more familiar with Proverbs 3:5.  I was just off by one number so again this says to me the holy spirit is up to something so I'll write, even though I don't feel like it. 

Years ago I blogged about this verse.  What I write today will be different from what I wrote years ago but what has not changed is my unwavering belief in Christ Jesus, that He came to this earth in human form but completely God.  He came to die for our sins and rose again on the 3rd day so that we may have eternal life and not only eternal life but a relationship with God.  What was once broken, God redeemed. On a personal level I've seen God do the impossible.  I've experienced Romans 8:28.  When Mike lost his job years ago, I witnessed Mike break into pieces and watched as God rebuilt him, blessing him during the journey and using other believers as messengers to help guide us along the way.  He will fail us or abandon us (Hebrews 13:5).  That's not to say what we went through was easy but now that were on the other side of it, I'm very thankful for that hard time; "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" James 1; 2-4.  Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be an athiest because personally I find this world decaying so fast.  An athiest believes this life is it.  Since they believe there is no God, then we all die as rot in the ground, with no hope of anything better.  This world is full of disappointment, broken promises, death and violence.  Our minds and hearts were never meant to consume so much hate but thanks to social media, my heart is often very heavy.  When I witness a terrorist attack or learn of a young 26 year old woman who was set on fire traveling home from work on a Chicago train while bystanders watched and did nothing.  When Charlie Kirk was murdered for all of social media to witness.  When the news reports on jewish people being gunned down at the start of Hanukkah I'm reminded my only hope is in Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.  He promises that He will wipe every tear from my eye.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).  How I long for that, especially the older I get.  I spent years wondering what my purpose is and the more I see the evil in the world I realize my purpose since the beginning has been to be a light in a very dark world; to love as many people as possible and point them to Jesus because He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6).  

When it really comes down to it and if someone were wanting me to prove the existence of God and Jesus, I'd point them to Lee Strobel's book, "The Case for Christ."  And after that it really comes down to faith.  We walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).  Jesus told Thomas after his resurrection, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" (John 20:29).  I live in complete anticipation and again unwavering confidence that I will stand before God one day and give an account of my life (Romans 14:12).   Sure that scares me a little bit because I'm a sinner and I know how wretched I am but what scares me more is to stand before a holy God without Jesus.  It's because of the cross that I can stand before God one day, living in perfect harmony with Him for all eternity.  Thanks be to God for the greatest gift ever given, Jesus.   

Start Writing

 Gosh even as I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard I have no idea what to write.  This morning as I finished my morning prayers in the stillness of my living room with the slight glow of the lights from the Christmas tree I felt the holy spirit say to me, "start writing."  That's all I heard.  For months I've known I should start writing again but menopause has really done a number on me but it's because of menopause I know writing would provide a positive outlet for me.  I just haven't felt like writing.  I'm probably suffering a wee bit of depression (something I've never dealt with before besides when I broke my ankle in 2016) and I'm experiencing some anxiety.  I also don't feel like I have anything to offer, not like when the boys were growing up and provided me with so many humerous stories.  Plus I always knew I had my mother who would read my blog everyday (back when I blogged almost daily).  She would call me, usually in gales of laughter or tears of joy to tell me how much she enjoyed that particular blog.  These days mom has no idea where to find my blog.  On occasion I will text her a post I know she will enjoy but if you look over my blog this past year you will mostly find content with very little substance.  

I am going to try to blog more and by that I mean put some effort into it.  If my writing seems kind of old and depressing it's because it is but I do have so much good that's going on in my life right now.  John and Judy have been our house guests since Dec. 12 and I am loving my time with them.  I never could have foreseen this new relationship which is just another reason why I love God so much and love how He works.  He is in the business to redeem and restore.  Mike's work schedule is ridiculous once again so John, Judy and I have had a lot of time to spend together, just the three of us.  It's been a joy to get to know Judy more and see how in love she is with John and vice versa.  

Jay and Hannah have settled into their new home and everytime I go over the home just feels more cozy.  It was a year ago today that Jay walked away from a long term relationship and in my devotional book I had written, "Lord, please heal Jay's heart."  Here we are a year later - an answer to prayer.  

As 2025 wraps up and 2026 is just beginning I commit to blogging more.  It may not be pretty at times but I can promise it will be written with raw emotions, honesty and humility.  

Merry Christmas

We celebrated Christmas early this year.  Jay and Hannah are headed to Florida for Christmas so we got everyone together on Dec. 14 and it was such a wonderful day.  To be honest I kind of enjoyed doing it this way this year.  It frees up Mike and I to do what we want for the rest of the season and the boys also.  Nick and Rylan can spend time with her family on Christmas and Jay and Hannah will be laying on a beach in sunny FL.  All that matters is that we are together some time during the season and that's what we did yesterday.  John and Judy flew in on Dec. 12 and are staying with us at our house through Dec. 18 when they will leave to visit Judy's family in IN.  I am enjoying having them minus their mean dog - just saying.  Ha!  

These four kids have my heart.  What a delight it is to be a part of your adult childrens lives.  

                                               Three generations of Siebert men!  

My momma.  It isn't easier for her or us to get her here but we get it done and are so thankful she is still able to make the trip and spend the afternoon with her family.  

These girls!  If I would have had a crystal ball all those years ago when I was raising my boys and if I could have seen how they would turn out and the amazing women they brought into our family I  probably would have relaxed a lot more.  That's not how it works though.  It sure is a testament to God's faithfulness though.  

Yesterday was beautiful in so many ways.  There was a lot of laughter.  It was wonderful having everyone together under one roof.  Extended family is the best and I'm very thankful.  
 

December Happenings

Hunting season is in full swing for Nick.  He has killed two doe's.  He was laid off all last week and he hunted the entire week.  He loved it.  He's back to work today for who knows how long.  He works outside and the weather is bitterly cold.  

I have to admit I really hate these pictures but hunting is important to Nick and he loves it.  Rylan went with him last week but I don't think she loved it.  It was terribly cold.  She said next year she'll go with him earlier in the season when it's not so cold.  

On Friday night me, Kim and Lauren went to a Christmas market to celebrate Lauren's birthday.  We had a great time but it was bitterly cold.  I've lived in Illinois my whole life so I'm use to the cold but the older I get the more I dislike the cold - just saying.  
 

The print

 Several weeks ago mom went on a shopping field trip with Luther Oaks.  She came across this print and I'm sure it reminded her of her grandparents farm.  On the day she bought it she asked the van driver to drive by her grandsons home so she could give it to him.  Bless that driver's heart, he agreed.  Then mom asked a CNA to deliver the print to Jay.  The kind CNA knocked on Jay's door and Jay happily went out to the van to thank his nana.  Such a sweet moment!  Jay loved the print and got it hung in his new home this week.  My hope is everytime he looks at that print he'll be reminded of his nana's thoughfulness and the kindness of others to make it special for Jay and mom.  

Happy 18th Birthday, Lauren

 Lauren celebrated her 18th birthday on Dec. 3.  I kind of had to pinch myself that she's 18.  It seems like only yesterday she was a little peanut in the NICU.  She is truly one of our families greatest blessings.  Her faith is inspiring and she's just a joy to be around.  I am a boy mom and having my precious niece is a gift.  I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for her in the years in the come.  

Happy Thanksgiving

These pictures are in no particular order and after I downloaded them I realized I didn't have any pictures of Lauren and Kim but I assure you they were with us.  In fact Lauren helped me decorate my mantle this year.  Rylan helped me with my tree and Hannah helped me with my table centerpiece.  I'll post pictures of them later this week.  For the second year in a row we celebrated thanksgiving Saturday, the day after Black Friday.  It works out better that way so the boys can do their own thing with their girls on Thanksgiving.  However, this year we were hit with a major snow storm - like 6-8 inches of snow.  Thankfully everyone made it here and back safely.  

My mom loved cuddling with Steve's dog.  He would just sit on her lap and mom loved it.  

Uncle Steve and his dog! John and Judy could not join us as they remained in Florida but they will be with us for Christmas.  

Two of my favorite girls.  I just love this picture of them.  Frame worthy for sure! 

My yearly picture of Mike and the turkey.  He fried two turkeys this year and they did not disappoint. 

 This picture just made me laugh.  Rylan was decorating the top of the tree from the cat walk and Nick was helping below.  

TX Trip

2025 has been my year of trips.  God has blessed me this year with good health and the financial means and that blessing is not lost on me.  Mike and I took our last trip of the year to Texas to visit Mike and Jenny.  We spent our first night in Fort Worth and had such a nice time.  Another huge blessing is our friendship with the Ausili's which has spanned over 40 years.  Every time we get together we pick up right where we left off.  

Here we are at the Fort Worth Stock Yards.  We spent four days in TX and it's always bittersweet to head home.  I'm glad to be home but always miss Mike and Jenny.  
 

Gods Timing

 Jay has bought a house!  And in 2 days (Oct 31 - Happy Halloween) he will close on his home and start a new season of his life.  When Jay graduated from highschool in the challenging times of Covid he flipped flopped around in his career(s).  He landscaped, dabbled with plumbing but in his heart he knew he wanted to be an electrician.  However, passing the test was another story so as we like to say he got in through the backdoor.  He got hired with the company he now works for as a shop hand, all thanks to positive enforcement from his best friend Aaron Neal because in life sometimes it really is all about who you know.  Jay worked for this company for a good 18 mos as a shop hand, earning the union hours he needed so he could bypass the exam and instead try to get into the apprenticeship program through an interview.  By that time the people at the hall knew him and his work ethic.  He got into the program and he's now into his 3rd year as an electical apprentice.  As I look back on my dear son's life I see the hand of God all over him.  He is a sweet soul who loves family, friends and most importantly his precious Hannah.  He is so aware of the character traits he desires for himself and surrounds himself with people who build him up. I remember all those years raising him and the worry I felt.  Would he ever learn how to read?  He did.  Would he find a job that would provide for him and not make him miserable?  He would.  Would he find a woman who would bring out the best in him, love Jesus and adore Jay?  He did.  Would he understand the gospel and the gift of salvation that is given to us freely by Jesus?  He does.  After all this why would I worry about whether or not the right house would come along for him but I did.  Buying a house right now in Jay's price range is challenging but as usual God opened the doors.  God's timing is so perfect.  I'm reminded of this over and over when I look at my children's lives.  Jay will soon begin a new season of his life and I know God has him.  God knew I needed these 23 years with my boy and these past few years after high school Mike would say Jay needed more time on the runway.  Well now it's time, Jay.  You are ready to take flight.  Your dad and I love you so much.  We are proud of you and can't wait to see what you do with your humble abode. Invite us over every now and then and call your mother.  

Bourbon Night at the Siebert house

On Saturday Sieb and I threw a bourbon party.  We asked our guests to bring their favorite bottle of bourbon.  We had a great time.  

 

A weekend getaway

Last Monday my friend, Erin, texted Jenna and I and asked if we wanted to go up to Wisconsin (where Erin has a vacation home) to spend the weekend.  My weekend was wide open and so was Jenna's.  It was such a relaxing, fun weekend.  We arrived late in the afternoon on Friday and went to a fun pub for dinner.  On Saturday we took a walk and experienced these views.  Saturday afternoon we shopped and that evening we hung out back at Erin's house.  

Jenna came up with the idea to get us matching jams!  We really had a nice time together.  

 

Fall Nights

 On Saturday we had John, Judy, Mary, John and our kids over for dinner.  It was such a lovely evening.  I love spending time with my adult kids.  

These kids!

 Faith came for a visit and brought Daisy and Curt with her.  Hannaj joined us and Faith got to meet her.  It was such a lovely evening.  I have been able to see Faith every month since April (except September).  It's been a huge blessing.  On another note, Jay made an offer on a house yesterday, however, as I write this he doesn't know if the offer has been accepted and so he waits.  Praying for God's will over this.  And if you're wondering where Nick is.  He had a fishing tournament all weekend.  He's so busy these days. 

LeAnne Morgan

On Saturday night Kim and I went to see comedian, LeAnne Morgan.  I just love her.  She is 59 years old so much of her comedy centers around menopause.  She has been such a breath of fresh air for me.  Her comedy is clean, relatable and down to earth.  I have watched her Netflix show at least three times.  Her show began at 4pm and she joked she would have us all home and in bed by 8pm, which gave us enough time to watch her show, get dinner and get home and in bed.  Now that is a Saturday night that I can look forward to! 
 

Washington D.C. with CWA

I just got home from five wonderful days in Washington D.C.  It was one of the most holy spirit filled couple of days.  Sadly my trip started with the horrific news of Charlie Kirk's assisnation.  Mary and I said so many times we were glad to be together with other believers during such a sad time for our country.  God was moving through our entire conference and we were encouraged by the women in our circle and worshipping our God who works all things out for our good and His glory.  I came back changed.  The picture above is all the women from IL and our CEO, Penny Nance.  

On our final night in D.C., CWA put on a "Red, White and True" banquet.  It was cocktail attire so Mary and I got dolled up.  We loved it.  

One of the highlights of our trip was lobbying.  This is the IL women with Darin Lahood's legislative assistant.  We lobbied on two bills - the mom's act and protection of women in olympic and amateaur sports act.  I really enjoyed being at Capitol Hill and experiencing what it was like to lobby with legislators.  Being able to share my faith with others and pray over our electred officials is very meaninful to me.  

 There was over 200 women at this conference.  We ranged in ages from 20 something to 70 something.  It was such a positive experience for me and I'm forever grateful to Mary who not only encouraged me and gave me a gentle nudge to get my CWA group up and going but she continues to walk alongside of me, being my biggest cheerleader.  I am so grateful to her.  I came back from this trip with lots of ideas and can't wait to see how this next year plays out for me as a CWA leader.  I thank God for this opportunity because I am no where close to being equipped for this role but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  

Fall weekend

Even though it's only early September the weather feels like fall.  The weather this weekend was absolute perfection.  Yesterday we celebrated Aaron - Jay's best friend since first grade.  I cannot believe these boys are turning 24!  What a blessing life long friends are.  

          My crew!  I just love these four kids!  The girls make everything sweeter! 

This, that and the other

 It's been a minute since I actually wrote something of substance for my blog.  There is a reason for that so keep reading.  I know I've taken a lot of trips and I document those trips in my blog not to brag (to the maybe 5 people who read my blog - ha).  Instead, I document my trips so I don't forget them because my brain is mush.  Last week when I posted a picture of an airplane (with nothing else) someone commented "you're on another trip, where are you going this time?"  I get it.  I've done a lot of traveling this year and I'm so thankful.  I've enjoyed every single one of my trips, especially Greece.  Spoiler alert I'm headed to Washington D.C. next week for C.W.A.  Mary is going with me and I can't wait.  I am so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to travel so much.  He's provided for me financially and given me the flexibility in my job and personal life to do it.  

So overall how am I doing, when I'm not traveling (ha)?  I'm in the depths of menopause.  My worst symptoms are night sweats, hot flashes, foot pain - I have plantar fascitis like nobodys business.  I have belly fat that needs it's own zip code.  My libido is non existent.  My anxiety is also heightened.  I have what I believe to be frozen shoulder in my right arm.  My brain fog is also concerning.  I'll walk to another room to get one thing and in the 30 seconds it took me to get to that room I've fogotten why I'm there.  We implemented a new system at work and I've had to learn new states.  The struggle has been real.  I feel like the weakest link on my team.  I've also lost all desire to write, hence why I haven't written for my blog.  What can I say?  It's a season of life I'm getting through.  Thankfully I'm not experiencing mood swings, only increased anxiety.  My hair hasn't been effected (yet), thankfully! I'll be honest there's a lot of myself I just don't like right now.  I hate some of the thoughts I have.  I really hate the way I look right now.  I'm impatient, tired and at times grouchy.  

The other side of all this.  There are days I feel God must really be disappointed in me but scripture tells me that's not true.  I know without a shadow of a doubt I need Him every second of everyday and even though I'm battling fear related to my anxiety I know God is good and when I look back on my life He's been SO faithful.  In TN last week I said to Mike Ausili that the Lord has sure been good to the eight of us and Mike agreed, commenting more than we deserve.  Isn't that the truth?  I'm so thankful for life long friends during this season of my life.  

TN 7.0

In December I asked my boys if they wanted to take a vacation in the summer.  Instantly they both said they wanted to go back to TN one more time with the Ausili's - before they all got married and had kids.  Jenny and I put our heads together in January and started planning dates and where we would stay.  We rented an airbnb big enough for the 8 of us right on the main road.  For the first time we flew to TN.  When the boys were little we would always drive the 10 hours but we're older this time and decided to fly.  It was worth it!  We all came together from IL, TX and AZ.  It was such a special time.  I kept thinking the Lord has sure been good to our families - more than we deserve, as Mike Ausili said.  To God be the glory for this friendship that has lasted 40 plus years.  

I believe the kids are 10 (Faith), 8 (Jay and Curt) and 4 (Nick) but I may be off a bit.  Looking closer at Nick and Faith I think they may be 12, 10 and 6.  This year they were 25, 23 and 19.  The last time we went to TN was in 2016 and it was trip #6.  

Faith made this post.  We hiked to the waterfall this year.  I laughed because I hiked it but I sure felt it.  Nine years ago I was thinner and younger - just saying.  

 And here we are.  I just love this friendship so much.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of friendship.  And thank you that we were able to make this happen.