Motherhood

 Last night I decided to read through some of my blog books.  I grabbed a book from 2013 which quite frankly feels like a life time ago.  In 2013 Jay was 11 and Nick was 7.  All I can say is thank goodness the Lord gave me a spiritual gift of writing.  Clearly I'm not a best selling author but I have a gift for words and I enjoy putting pen to paper and using creativity in my writing, especially when it comes to my boys.  My blogs have proven to be a wonderful source of distant memories, laughter and heartwarming joy.  Having children has given me a small understanding of the Father's deep love of his children.  It is never lost on me that as much as I love Jay and Nick, God loves them more.  From the moment they were born it has been a shaping and growing process of who I am and who I've become, in all the good ways.  Who would I be without my children?  How would I view the world without my boys and most importantly, what would my faith look like without them?  The best part of this life season is enjoying the fruits of our labor.  Jay and Nick are the two of the most amazing humans.  My relationship with them no longer requires me to schedule their appointments or monitor their comings and goings.  It is however a season of reconizing and establishing boundries on my end - knowing not to overstep, giving unsolicited advice and figuring out which media is the best way to communicate with them (Jay, it's snapchat; Nick, it's a good old fashioned phone call).  My mother once told me her wish was for me to have children who would bring me as much joy as Kim and I brought her.  I wish the same for my children.  Motherhood truly was and is the best gift God blessed and entrusted me with.