Promises of the Psalms

It's fair to say from some of my recent blog posts that I'm struggling with some things right now.  Although technically I'm not an empty nester, I sure feel like one and it's a hard adjustment.  I'm also struggling with issues my mom is having.  I have my faults but I'm pretty good at self reflection.  Lately I've noticed I'm living in the past way too much.  My mind takes me to "back when."  Back when I had my boys running through the trails in my yard.  Back when my mom was an active woman who I loved sharing things with.  Back when the Ausili's were at our house every weekend and back when my boys needed me. These memories are precious but it's almost like I can't seem to make the shift in moving forward.  It may look like I'm moving forward to others but my mind and heart tell me something different.  I have to laugh at the irony of it because I was exhausted as a young mother.  I remember all the walks Laura Beavers and I took.  We were certain once we got to empty nest phase we'd be on easy street.  Of course now Laura and I counsel each other frequently on how were supposed to get through this next phase of life.  We were sure we'd have it all figured out.  The beauty of good long time friends is priceless.  

The other day I was floating in my stock tank.  My stock tank is truly my empty nest phase gift from my sweet husband (more on that later).  I was reading my Guideposts magazine that my mother gives to me every month.  Every so often there are articles that literally speak to me.  As I turned the pages I came across an article entitled "The House I Loved."  It was written by Shawnelle Eliasen.  She has 5 boys and only two still live with her.  Tears were literally streaming down my face as I read her words.  She had written everything I felt.  She wrote, "The boys were often at after school activities, all opportunities we wanted for them.  But that meant I was usually puttering around the house alone, without even memories to keep me company."  Feeling unsettled at this particular stage in her life she wrote that she found comfort  through the promises of the Psalms.  I will be your dwelling place.  I'll go before you.  You don't have to be afraid.  As I finished reading Shawnelle's beautiful article I was certain God had orchestrated it, knowing exactly what I needed to read for encouragement.  

In the weeks and months ahead I'm going to work really hard on changing my mind set and not living in the past.  I will rely on the promises of the Psalms.  I intend live each day as if it's my last which I realize is sometimes easier said than done.  I am confident I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  

Psalm 84:1

How lovely is your dwelling place

Isiah 45

I will go before you

Psalm 118:6

The Lord is on my side I will not be afraid 

       

Our weekend

A rare photo of my boys together.  Jay is still taller than Nick but not by much.  Nick spent his weekend taking care of animals (dog/cats/cattle) and fishing.  He started a new job this morning!  

And here's my stock tank.  This idea came to me a year ago.  Mike was a great sport about it.  He spent all last week digging a trench for the electrical and getting the tank up and running for me.  I love him! 

 

A Night Out

This past Saturday Jay was doing his thing (which is typical for the weekends) and Nick was at a fishing tournament.  It also rained all day.  It was a bit miserable.  I didn't have any plans which for me is good and bad.  My sister called after lunch and asked if Mike and I wanted to go with her and Craig to a whiskey bar.  I jumped on the opportunity.  I think we were all glad to have each other and something to do and of course the cocktails were rather enjoyable also.  

 

Blessings

This morning I sat out on my deck and spent some time with Jesus and my coffee.  I'm convinced the only thing better is heaven itself.  As I looked out over my yard and into the trails, I could literally hear my boys laughing, covered in dirt, living their best lives.  I thanked God for the blessings He has bestowed on me.  Lately I've been really hard on myself (or rather Satan was up to his dirty tricks), convincing myself God must be so disappointed in me, but deep down I know that's not true.  I'm just thankful that each morning I can get up and God renews my spirit.  I will keep running my race, tripping along the way as only I can, but I will keep running to that goal (Philipians 3:14) because I know with every fiber of my being that goal is going to be awesome and so worth it!   

ICASSTT, Here comes Nick

I swear Nick is eating, sleeping and breathing fishing these days.  Last weekend he went up north with his fishing partner, Jackson and Jackson's dad.  They fished the ICASSTT tournament (whatever that is).  Of the 58 boats on the water, only 6 proceeded to state.  You guessed it. Nick and Jackson are headed to state.  They fish at Lake Springfield in early June.  Nick is loving life these days!  And as I always say it's Nick's world, I just live in it.  Love that boy of mine! 

 

How is Jay doing?

I don't blog about Jay much anymore because he's an adult.  I try to respect that truth, but he does still live at home which gives me a little something to write about.  Ha!  He moved back home in January.  As a family we picked up right where we left off.  He absolutely made the right decision in moving home.  Inflation is soaring and gas prices are through the roof.  I joke with Jay that living at home probably isn't all it's cracked up to be but he's a good sport and says he doesn't mind, and I believe him.  Me, Mike and Jay have an understanding, we don't have rules per say.  All we ask is that Jay use common sense and be respectful of our home and thus far he has been.  That's not to say there hasn't been some challenges along the way, but we've dealt with them and in true Jay form he corrects whatever the issue was/is.  He continues to work for the same employer and our hope is he'll get into the apprenticeship program in 2023.  The economy and where its headed makes me nervous but I simply have to trust in God's plan for Jay.  He and Gabby are still dating, and next weekend Jay will attend her H.S. graduation.  They seem very happy and content together.  

 

Olympia Anglers

 I can't remember if I have written much about Nick's fishing team (imagine that).  In 2020 I wrote a proposal to our school board about starting a fishing team at our school.  It must have been all in God's timing because other proposals had been presented in the past but this time the board approved it.  After it was approved me and other friends of mine put our heads together to come up with a plan.  I'll never forget that first meeting me, Ryan Komnick and Scott Boots had with our assistant A.D.  Sure we had some ideas of what we wanted the club to look like but getting it off the ground and running was an entirely different story.  We needed coaches, money and boats!  By the summer of 2021 we were meeting pretty regularly and we had the normal bumps in the road.  A few disagreements along the way but we worked through it and came up with a plan.  Ryan enlisted Jon Wise as our coach and it literally exploded (in a good way) from there.  Jon enlisted other men as boat captains and tournaments were scheduled.  Nick started fishing tourneys with this team in March 2022.  On May 9 we participated in our first ever IHSA sectionals and would you believe we came in first place?  Ryan was crying he was so excited.  Our boys were over the moon and our captains were thrilled.  Two of our boys are headed to state next week and although Nick isn't fishing at state he is going along to cheer his teammates on.  Of course Nick is in his element.  He has such a passion for fishing.  My prayer continues to be that God uses that passion for His glory and through fishing Nick can truly come to know his creator.