First day of Sophomore year

The first day of school has sure changed for me from getting littles ready and out the door to this....only one child left in high school.  Nick set his alarm this morning.  I made his breakfast and his ride had him picked up by 6:50 and he was off.  There were some summers I could not wait for the boys to go back to school.  This was not one of those summers.  The house is eerily quiet this morning.  Nick kept himself busy this summer, as only Nick can but it's still quiet, knowing he doesn't need a ride anywhere or asking me what there is to eat (like 20 times a day).  

Nick and Chase spent a lot of time together this summer, especially the last few weeks as football is back!  Chase's mom and I trade off rides and it works well.  Out here it just takes a village sometimes.  

My prayer for Nick this school year is that he is a light unto others.  That God places godly people in his path and that God leads me somewhere where I can get Nick "plugged" into a youth ministry/group. It's challenging out here and Covid certainly hasn't made things any easier.

This school year is certainly brighter than last year but our kids are still going back to school in masks thanks our governor.  Apparently parental choice doesn't mean anything anymore.  Our school district voted weeks ago that masks would be optional (in other words left up to parents) but our governor issued another one of his "mandates."  I've told Nick to make the best of it.  Our administrators and school board have made decisions based on what I believe to be in the best interests of our kids with what the governor has threatened them with.  Everyone is just trying to do the best they can at this point but the divisions are becoming more and more apparent.  It's worrisome but that's for another blog.  Until then I can only hope our kids will be out of masks soon.   

 

Preparing for Empty Nest 101

 I started this blog YEARS ago.  Like seriously I think Nick was 2 or 3 and Jay was 6 or 7.  Nick is now 15 and Jay is 19.  The boys still preside in our home but are never home.  Jay is a typical 19 year old.  He works full time and hangs out with his friends.  We see him in passing.  When he gets up in the morning I see him in the kitchen packing his lunch before work - trying to limit the amount of questions I ask him, knowing he's not the greatest morning person.  Mike and I usually see him when he gets home from work.  He showers and jets off to his next activity.  Nick who is as social as the day is long is also rarely home.  He's always planning his next adventure.  Since he's only 15 I imagine this will only accelerate when he turns 16.  Mike and I are spending many dinners alone.  The biggest difference is we stay at home.  When we were dating before marriage and kids we went out to eat...constantly.  Now we live in the stix, about 30 minutes from the nearest restaurant and I'm 47.  My waistline can only afford to go out so many times.  Although Mike has started a new job endeavor he still seems to be working 7 days/week.  It's annoying.  My prayer is he can figure out his schedule and make more time for us in the months to come because as I've told him, we're coming full circle - right back to where we started, just the two of us. It's not that I wish I was back to giving kids a bath every night and reading them a story, although I'd jump at the chance for just one more night.  Young mothers, you have no idea when the last bath or the last bedtime story will come.  I think it might be God's gift to us.  It's best we just don't know that.  As a mom it is a hard adjustment to know you aren't as needed as you once were.  Pre-empty nesting is like getting your freedom back but it's a freedom that is tainted by years of mothering, knowing what you're capable of  and knowing your entire being has been centered around your children for years - making plans for them, implementing them, supporting them and building them into the kids God made them to be.  I was always sure I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do.  I was and am sure I was exactly where He wanted me to be.  I still don't doubt that and I'm confident His plans for me far outweigh my own because I really knowing nothing.  Life is just a series of adjustments and I rest in God's plan for my empty nest phase.  

How I'm feeling......for real

 My blog this week centered around my blessings which are plentiful and I don't deserve.  But lately I've had this annoying feeling.  The best way to describe it is a feeling of being unsettled.  I realize how crazy this sounds.  Overall my life is pretty settled and probably a little predictable so what's the deal?  When I start to feel unsettled I instantly berate myself.  How dare I feel bad or complain about anything especially when I live in a culture where "Me" is front and center and I despise that - another problem of mine - being too critical. But today as I was driving I started asking myself questions - a strategy I learned from my mother.  What is it that bothers you?  In my head I went through the changes in my life over the last 5 years (2016-2021)

*Mike lost his job in late 2015 

*Mike started his own business in 2016.  He ran his own business for 5 years then recently started a new endeavor. 

*My grandparents passed away and I have thought about them a lot - especially recently. 

*My dad died

*Jay graduated from high school

*My mom suffered a stroke.  As the years have gone by Kim and I are more entrenched in care-giving. 

*The Ausili's left 

*My job changed dramatically 18 months ago 

*Covid hit

There has been a lot of changes in 5 years and although the changes have been challenging, each one of them has blessings peppered in the journey.  Perhaps my next blog will about the blessings that came from each one of them.  Right now I am trying to give myself some grace.  I can literally hear my friend Sarah in my ear right now saying...."Girl, you haven't dealt with all this stuff, get some counseling."  Sarah is another huge blessing!  I have reminded myself of the importance of just living for today.  I shouldn't worry about tomorrow.  Live today for what it is, own the feelings I have, work on what I need to work on and know that each day I fail but today is today, tomorrow is a new day.  I can get up the next morning knowing I serve a loving and faithful God.   

Blessings

 All last week after coming home from Hawaii I was in a funk.  I know a big part of it was physical as I was trying to adjust back to my central time zone but the other part was all mental.  It was kind of depressing to come back to reality.  I wasn't able to ease back into reality either.  I literally dove in head first but such is life, right?  If it sounds like I'm complaining....I am.  Keep reading though.  Two days ago which just happened to be Sunday morning I woke up and gave myself grace.  I didn't worry about getting in my 11,000 steps and I ate what I wanted.  I slept in.  I relaxed.  I called Jenny and we caught up on my trip and her upcoming trip to TN.  I sternly told myself that I was going to wake up on Monday morning and get back into my routine and then the glass is half full girl within myself came out.  God reminded me in that moment of all my blessings and they are plentiful.  

#1 - Mike and I were able to take our boys on an amazing vacation.  We created memories that will last a lifetime. For me personally, our trip will forever remain a sweet spot in my heart.  I loved having my boys go with us, especially Jay, knowing he might not have been able to go because of work or choose not to go.  He is 19 after all.  I loved seeing Nick snorkel and doing Nick things which is pretty much anything and everything.   

#2 - Mike is fully engaged in home inspection.  I will blog more about this in another blog but when I look back over the last five years I have to pinch myself.  I won't say it's been easy but doors have been opened for Mike that God has blessed immeasurably.  

#3 - Nick's leg recovered.  He is now back to life on two legs.  He hasn't been cleared for football yet but that's his only restriction.  His break could have been so much worse and I know God's hand of protection was over him that day.  He wasn't able to work this summer as he had planned but the minute he recovered and we got home from Hawaii jobs have literally fell into his lap and he's working like a typical Siebert boy.  Ha!  He's working so much that he'll have saved what we require in order for him to buy a car.  It's hard to believe we'll soon be car shopping for him.  

#4 - Jay really seems to like his plumbing job.  It's funny how life comes full circle.  Jay works for my friend, Philip.  Philip and I worked together for years and I would come to work, sit in my cubicle day after day and he would have me in gales of laughter.  He made work fun.  Philip is an all around good guy.  My prayer for Jay during his senior year and after was that he would work with godly men with good character.  Talk about a prayer being answered.  Jay comes home and shares funny stories with us. Philip is patient while Jay learns and makes the job fun.  My prayer is that Jay continues to gain more confidence in his trade/career.  

#5 - As for me.  Life is good.  While it's true my job has been a thorn in my side since being thrown into a new territory almost 18 months ago I feel like I'm slowly coming out of the fog and into the light.  I'm blessed to have the job I do and I continue to love working from home and having that flexibility. 

#6 - I live in America and I'm a proud American.  

All of these blessings were a good reminder of the sweet season of life I'm in. I give glory to God for all of my blessings.  

Reality

 To say I'm having a hard time "settling back in" this week would be an understatement.  I'm in a  Hawaiian vacation fog and the five hour time difference has taken it's toll on me.  Before I left for Hawaii I was getting up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and taking an invigorating walk.  Even when I was in Hawaii I met my 11,000 step goal nearly everyday.  Since I've gotten home I've gotten up zero times in the morning to walk.  This morning I slept in until 6:45 which is pretty much unheard of for me, even on the weekends.  Somehow I'm still managing to get in my 11,000 steps but I've been sluggish.  My legs feel like lead weights when I do walk.  I decided to give myself some grace.  I need some time to get back into the reality of life when for 8 days I literally lived in paradise.  Not that I'm complaining or anything.....wink, wink!  I'm confident by next week I'll get my groove back.  I've continued to fall short of my weight loss goals.  I was within 3.5 lbs of meeting my goal before I left for Hawaii.  Clearly I need to re-evaluate that next week and prepare myself mentally for my continued health goals, even though all I really want to do is lay on the beach, laugh with my family and drink the Hawaiian vodka Mike bought for me.  Reality has a way of really biting you in the you know what. 

Our Hawaii Vacation

I'm writing this while still being on my Hawaiian high!  This vacation was no joke.  It was truly amazing.  Clearly I am in love with Hawaii and so is Mike!  The boys loved it too but their hearts are still with the cruise we took in 2019.  Don't get me wrong, that was an awesome vacation and it's not that I liked this vacation over the cruise.  In fact we all had different things about the cruise and this vacation that we liked or wished we could change.  For example the great thing about the cruise was our food was always taken care of.  We never had to think about.  The not so great thing about this vacation was our food was not taken care of and since Hawaii had just opened up from Covid there were huge staffing issues.  We found it impossible to get reservations and to make it worse our fridge in our condo didn't work.  We never starved (ha) but coming up with ideas on what to eat and then actually trying to eat it was challenging.  What I liked about this vacation was the slower pace and there weren't crowds.  I would get up nearly every morning and walk with Kim or Mike.  I loved, loved, loved every minute I got to spend with Karen and my cousins.  Lauren was an absolute joy and I so enjoyed spending the time with her and Kim. I am truly blessed by my family.  Everyday we would do our own activities and in the afternoon we'd meet up at the pool with our cocktails and laugh and talk for hours.  The weather was absolute perfection.  One day we drove the Jeep into the mountain and got 10,000 feet up.  Another morning, 1:30 am, to be precise Mike and I star - gazed.  We all snorkeled and loved it.  Nick adores snorkeling and would have snorkeled all day if we let him but my children being in the ocean tends to give me a heart attack!  Mike and Jay took a helicopter ride one day and boy was it memorable for them.  Jay was literally speechless afterwards and Mike couldn't stop talking about it.  One afternoon Kim and I sat in the pool and chatted with Jay about Jesus.  My heart was so full to learn he was a believer - that my hope when I was taking him to church all those years which he remembered vividly - even the early days of going to the little church in Danvers.  Kim and I were giddy with excitement to learn Jay's hope had been placed in Jesus and not the influence of our culture.  And speaking of Jay, Mike and I were so aware this might have been his last vacation with us.  I just felt very strongly this was our last vacation as a family of four.  It's not that I don't think Jay won't go on vacation with us again but next time he may bring a girlfriend.  Nick may bring a friend next time also. All of these future changes are wonderful and part of life.  I welcome and look forward to more family vacations with daughter in laws, friends and additional family.  There was just something so sweet about being together in Hawaii as a family of four.  Time changes everything and my boys being ages 19 and 15 is a clear indicator of that.  Check out the adorable picture I took of them above.  I could write so much more but to put it simply my heart is full.  My family filled my cup this week and this trip will be one for the memory books.  

One last thing I should mention: Traveling to Hawaii is like childbirth.  It's so painful at the time and you swear that after you do it once you won't ever do it again but then years go by and you forget about the pain and decide to do it again because you just love it so much!  Ha.  Mike and I love Hawaii and although the flight is miserable I'm pretty sure we'll forget all about it and venture to another island in the years to come!  
 

Our 4th of July

My friend, Erin, had her annual shrimp boil yesterday.  I look forward to it every year.  About six families started this tradition years ago.  In thinking back I believe Mike and I have been going with our boys for 7 years.  It has changed through the years.  We started in Minier and now Erin hosts.  Sadly we've lost a few people to divorce.  We were also formed together because of our older kids (Jay's group) and those older boys have all grown up.  Once they started driving they would show up for the food and leave which pretty much still happens.  Yesterday only Jay, Reece and Jeremy were there.  The weather was great and the food was delish!  

Nick and I ended the night by watching fireworks from our county road.  

Nick was able to take his boot off and play volleyball in the pool.  He had a great time. 

 The look of this is always kind of gross to me but let me tell you it truly is so good!  My favorite is the shrimp.....the crawfish though, not so much.