It's been a minute since I actually wrote something of substance for my blog. There is a reason for that so keep reading. I know I've taken a lot of trips and I document those trips in my blog not to brag (to the maybe 5 people who read my blog - ha). Instead, I document my trips so I don't forget them because my brain is mush. Last week when I posted a picture of an airplane (with nothing else) someone commented "you're on another trip, where are you going this time?" I get it. I've done a lot of traveling this year and I'm so thankful. I've enjoyed every single one of my trips, especially Greece. Spoiler alert I'm headed to Washington D.C. next week for C.W.A. Mary is going with me and I can't wait. I am so thankful to the Lord for allowing me to travel so much. He's provided for me financially and given me the flexibility in my job and personal life to do it.
So overall how am I doing, when I'm not traveling (ha)? I'm in the depths of menopause. My worst symptoms are night sweats, hot flashes, foot pain - I have plantar fascitis like nobodys business. I have belly fat that needs it's own zip code. My libido is non existent. My anxiety is also heightened. I have what I believe to be frozen shoulder in my right arm. My brain fog is also concerning. I'll walk to another room to get one thing and in the 30 seconds it took me to get to that room I've fogotten why I'm there. We implemented a new system at work and I've had to learn new states. The struggle has been real. I feel like the weakest link on my team. I've also lost all desire to write, hence why I haven't written for my blog. What can I say? It's a season of life I'm getting through. Thankfully I'm not experiencing mood swings, only increased anxiety. My hair hasn't been effected (yet), thankfully! I'll be honest there's a lot of myself I just don't like right now. I hate some of the thoughts I have. I really hate the way I look right now. I'm impatient, tired and at times grouchy.
The other side of all this. There are days I feel God must really be disappointed in me but scripture tells me that's not true. I know without a shadow of a doubt I need Him every second of everyday and even though I'm battling fear related to my anxiety I know God is good and when I look back on my life He's been SO faithful. In TN last week I said to Mike Ausili that the Lord has sure been good to the eight of us and Mike agreed, commenting more than we deserve. Isn't that the truth? I'm so thankful for life long friends during this season of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment