Start Writing

 Gosh even as I sit here with my fingers on the keyboard I have no idea what to write.  This morning as I finished my morning prayers in the stillness of my living room with the slight glow of the lights from the Christmas tree I felt the holy spirit say to me, "start writing."  That's all I heard.  For months I've known I should start writing again but menopause has really done a number on me but it's because of menopause I know writing would provide a positive outlet for me.  I just haven't felt like writing.  I'm probably suffering a wee bit of depression (something I've never dealt with before besides when I broke my ankle in 2016) and I'm experiencing some anxiety.  I also don't feel like I have anything to offer, not like when the boys were growing up and provided me with so many humerous stories.  Plus I always knew I had my mother who would read my blog everyday (back when I blogged almost daily).  She would call me, usually in gales of laughter or tears of joy to tell me how much she enjoyed that particular blog.  These days mom has no idea where to find my blog.  On occasion I will text her a post I know she will enjoy but if you look over my blog this past year you will mostly find content with very little substance.  

I am going to try to blog more and by that I mean put some effort into it.  If my writing seems kind of old and depressing it's because it is but I do have so much good that's going on in my life right now.  John and Judy have been our house guests since Dec. 12 and I am loving my time with them.  I never could have foreseen this new relationship which is just another reason why I love God so much and love how He works.  He is in the business to redeem and restore.  Mike's work schedule is ridiculous once again so John, Judy and I have had a lot of time to spend together, just the three of us.  It's been a joy to get to know Judy more and see how in love she is with John and vice versa.  

Jay and Hannah have settled into their new home and everytime I go over the home just feels more cozy.  It was a year ago today that Jay walked away from a long term relationship and in my devotional book I had written, "Lord, please heal Jay's heart."  Here we are a year later - an answer to prayer.  

As 2025 wraps up and 2026 is just beginning I commit to blogging more.  It may not be pretty at times but I can promise it will be written with raw emotions, honesty and humility.