NYE in TX

Last week me, Mike and Nick traveled to TX to ring in the 2022 with the Ausili's.  Granted I was asleep by midnight on NYE but who cares!  We still had a relaxing weekend with our dear friends.  Sadly Jay was not able to join us and Faith was visiting her friend, Anna, in AZ so we were a group of 6 this time.  

We made dinner together on NYE.  Sieb grilled steaks and Nick helped with the mashed potatoes.  

 This picture may look like they were hiding from the camera but they weren't.  Nick was cracking Ausili up over something.  Never a dull moment.  Although Jay and Faith were missed, we really enjoyed our visit.  It was a quiet and relaxing visit.  Nick got a 12 hour flu bug so that slowed us down a bit and the weather was so cold.  

Embrace the change(s)

 I don't like new years resolutions so therefore I don't make them.  I do, however, like to come up with a thought, word or phrase every new year.  Last year I didn't come up with anything.  When 2020 ended I was just happy to see it from my rear view mirror.  2021 brought many blessings but as I slowly step into the possiblities of a new year, the weight of all that was 2021 is heavy.  I am bombarded with prayer requests (which I am humbled by and thankful for).  The suffering is real and raw and there are days I depend on the holy spirit to pray for me because the suffering among those I love is so deeply is  overwhelming.  My immediate family is doing fine which I am so thankful for.  There have been so many changes these past five years.  I could say I've accepted these changes but I'd be lying.  There is a part of me who just wants her 30 something year old self back.  I was so sure by the time I reached my age I would be sitting on easy street.  Wrong again.  I'm reminded of what I tell Jesus everyday.....I know nothing.  As I turn a new year I think it's finally hit me that more changes are inevitable.  I might as well embrace them.  More dear friends of mine will be leaving Illinois which breaks my heart but maybe this time it will be better equipped to repair itself since I just experienced a similiar loss a few short years ago when Ausili's left.  My mom's speech won't get any better without a miracle.  More decisions will rest on my shoulders and Kim's as we navigate mom's health.  I may never have a back and forth conversation with my mother this side of heaven.  Covid will continue to be a thorn in everyone's side.  Friends and family members will still encounter health crises.  My boys will continue to age and hopefully get married, bringing different dynamics to the family that will require change and adjustment, not to mention they will certainly endure times of tribulation balanced out by times of celebration.  

This year I want to embrace all the change(s) from the crappy to the joyous.  While I have always prided myself on being a glass is half full kind of girl I am giving myself permission to mourn what I have lost but also keep perspective of what I have gained.  Mary (of course it was Mary, right?) gave me such good advice right after Christmas when she could see I was struggling.  She said to start creating my own magic, decide how I want to bring that magic alive in my house.  I don't know what my year will look like - only Jesus does and it's through Him that I can get through another year of changes whatever they may be, embracing them one prayer at a time.  

Christmas 2021

These pictures aren't in any particular order.  In fact these cute pics of Mike and I were taken at his work christmas party last weekend (his 49th birthday).  I thought they were pretty cute of us!  

Getting Mike to put these glasses on and take a picture was a big deal. We really did have such a fun time. 

Here is our family selfie we sent to Ausili's on Christmas day.   

I took this picture of Nick on christmas day to document the nice weather.  Notice he has his sun roof open.  After we finished with our festivies we drove to my mom's to deliver french silk pie.  It was 55 degrees here in Central Illinois today.  I am loving it while it lasts.  My cousin, Cora, sent us pictures of her and her family on the beach today.  We fly out to see Cora in a few short weeks.  I can't wait.  

My boys!  My heart.  

Mike made homemade ravioli on Christmas eve for my family.  It was ridiculous!  Mike is such an amazing cook.  

I got the boys Carhart vests this xmas.  They loved them.  I'm not gonna lie this xmas was different.  Jay doesn't live at home any more.  He went home on xmas eve and xmas day to sleep in his own bed which was fine but is does take some getting use to on my end.  I am thankful for the time we did have together as a family.  The four of us met for breakfast on xmas eve morning, spent xmas eve with Mimi and Nana and then it was just me, Mike, Jay and Nick on xmas day.  Mike made a prime rib, we opened presents.  It was a very relaxing and non stressful day.  

I love this picture.  We got Jay a tool backpack for xmas.  This picture is of father and son comparing backpacks.  

My mom and her grands.  Love, love, love! 

Somehow this picture got out of order.  This is the xmas selfie Ausili's sent to us from TX.  My heart so misses them but I am thankful for the times we had together.  Me, Mike and Nick fly out next week to spend a few days with them.  My heart is full.  
 

A Christmas Memory

 My good friend, Laura, sent me this picture early this morning.  If I were to guess, based on the sizes of my boys I'm guessing Jay was 14 (freshman) and Nick was 10 (5th grade).  Dad passed away in 2018 and we did not do socks for seniors in 2017, his last Christmas here on earth.  I'll go out on a limb and guess this was 2016.  What a group we had that night.  I could have never imagined that when this picture was taken my dad would be gone in less than 2 years and that Covid would literally decimate group gatherings.  Having a group this size together in a nursing home would NEVER happen today.  I also didn't know my mom would suffer a devastating stroke 4 months after my dads passing.  It's been a hard few years.  The times we currently live in are unsettling and the divineness Covid has caused among families and friends is depressing.  I'm certain Satan loves the havoc, the shaming and the fear that has crippled so many Americans.  I'm reminded on this day, Dec. 23, christmas eve eve, to never take any moment for granted.  I remember loving being surrounded by this group back in 2016, laughing and bringing joy to the residents of my dads nursing home.  In all the darkness that has encompassed 2020 and parts of 2021 there are rays of light.  I choose to focus on that light, giving thanks for what the Lord has blessed me with, praying and hoping there are better times ahead because even though it feels like Satan is winning right now, I know in the end he will be the one that is crippled, stomped out and gone forever.  Thank you, Jesus, for your birth on a cold winter night in the middle of nowhere.  Thank you for being the light of the world in a fallen imperfect universe that continues to be in desperate need of a savior.  Where would I be in this earthly life without you?  I shudder to think.  Thank you for the hope you brought that night and continue to bring.  

Mike's Birthday weekend

Mike turned 49 yesterday!  This man just gets better with age.  I'm not kidding.  He gets healthier with every passing year and as his wife I can truly say I like and enjoy Mike more as he ages.  I affectionately refer to Mike as God's "frozen chosen."  He doesn't have a lot to say about his faith but ever since he was saved no one can deny the transformation in Mike.  I pray this next year blesses him abundantly with good health and direction in his new career path.  He is really enjoying his home inspection.  I don't know where Cornerstone will be next year but God will continue to guide us, as He faithfully does.  

Speaking of Cornerstone Nick made this metal sign for Mike's shop.  He paid for metal and made it in his Ag Mech and Tech class.  Nick acted like it was no big deal but I was blown away by his thoughtful gift and craftsmanship.  

 On Saturday night I had a family birthday dinner for Mike.  This is Jay's sweet girlfriend, Gabby.  Their one year anniversary of dating is coming up in January. My heart was so full sitting around the table with my family, celebrating Mike.  

This Christmas Season

As every year passes, things change.  As I age I find this to be so true.  It's not necessarily a bad thing but it does take some getting use to and some readjustment.  For example this Christmas season is quiet.  Yes, I said quiet.  Gone are the years where I was juggling small kids, working, commuting to work, frantically buying gifts over my lunch hour, getting them wrapped and baking.  I haven't baked one thing this December and that brings me great joy!  I remember one year I thought it was a great idea to make red velvet cakes for teachers and friends.  I spent hours in the kitchen over the weekends making these cakes.  I'm sure people appreciated it and at the time I did enjoy it but now my 47 year old self looks back at that time and shakes her head.  Fast forward to now and Jay doesn't live with us anymore and Nick isn't playing basketball.  This is the first December in ten years where I haven't spent night after night sitting in the stands watching my boys sit the bench only to see the team lose in the end.  I've really tried to make this December my "Yes" month.  When my friend, Shannon, asked me to see "The Chosen" christmas movie with her, I said yes.  When Sarah asked me, Shannon and Mary to have breakfast with her, I said Yes.  When I was invited to a "favorite things" party I said Yes.  I've been more intentional this season and as a result I've mastered how to make an excellent cup of coffee which I sip during my prayer time.  I am enjoying morning walks, quiet time under my blanket in the evenings and special moments with friends.  I am truly thankful and blessed.  

Happy 14th Birthday, Lauren!

My sister had a delightful family gathering for Lauren on Dec. 3 (her actual birthday).  I can't believe my niece is 14!  She is so much fun to be around.  When Nick decided not to play basketball this year I was suddenly faced with a lot more free time.  I am trying to be more intentional with Lauren.  I am picking her up from school every other week and we go to dinner together.  This week we are doing shopping for her mother's christmas gift.  My sweet momma bought concert tickets (For King & Country) for me, Lauren and Kim.  The concert isn't until April but we are so excited!  

 Sweet Jensen!  He reminds me so much of my dad.  It warms my heart every time I see this boy smile!