Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to camp we go

 Jay and Curtis went to Christ In Youth/MOVE trip.  They left on Monday and come home on Saturday.  According to a group text received on Monday night, a snack shelf was established immediately and the boys were set!  Jay and Curt are also rooming with Sam, another buddy.  Jay has randomly texted Mike throughout the week and all is going well.  He sent us a video yesterday of his dorm, where he's staying.  Mike told him not to major in cinematography. 

Nick left on Monday also but he's home tonight.  He and his friend, J., went to church camp and it never disappoints.  Nick loves camp and this year it was an added bonus for him because J went with him!  Mike and I were empty nesters for a few days.  My neighbor asked me if it was weird.  I may have answered too quickly when I said, No, it wasn't weird, it was peaceful.  But that being said, it's nice to have Nick home and this momma bird will be happy to have all her babies back in the nest on Saturday. 

Our 6th Tennessee trip

Last week we loaded up Mike's truck and we were TN bound.  This trip was hands down the most relaxing TN trip we've taken.  There was no car trouble (our first time going), no illness (both boys), no horrendous back pain (me) and no boy got dehydrated (Nick).  What we did have was a relaxing time, great weather and lots of laughs with the Ausili's.  My mom, Mary and John were missed but it was nice going just the four of us this year and after the last seven months it was nice to relax together.  The picture above is of Bubbles.  Nick gaves Mike Bubbles a couple of years ago and we take him with us on trips and pose him (like Flat Stanley).  Bubbles provides a lot of laughs for us. 

                                              Faith brought her friend, Anna, this year. 

We left super early so on our first day Curt fell asleep under a porch table.  Only Curt!

Here's my usual snap shot I get every year.  I remember the first year we went Faith was 10, the boys were 8 and Nick was 4.  This year Faith is 16 (crazy), the boys are 14 and Nick is 10.  How time flies. 

                                                            Playing Chicken!

We took the same hike we did last year.  It's a terrible hike in that it's HARD.  It's straight up hill over rocks, tree limbs, etc... but the end result is beautiful, a water fall.  The kids always enjoy cooling off in the water! 

             Happy Father's Day.  Wayne made us his homemade biscuits and gravy.  YUMMY!

We were so blessed to even go on vacation this year.  When Mike lost his job we weren't sure we could swing it but God is good and He provided.  We can go to TN for relatively cheap.  We got a nice but inexpensive cabin this year and I've learned the key to a happy cabin in TN is having a pool table.  The boys love playing pool but I've been a parent long enough to know that the joy of pool would quickly fade the minute we bought it for our home so I'll just keep it as a special treat on vacation.  Jenny and I commented how things change and we both know our TN vacations will someday come to an end.  Our kids are aging (and so are we, ha).  But we sure love doing life with our dear friends in the Smokies. 

My work crew

 When the summer started I had no idea how much work Mike would have or even if he'd be able to include the boys in his work.  While it's still early in the summer Mike's work has proven to be steady.  My in laws hired Mike and the boys to paint the outside of their house the last two days.  They all worked like dogs.  You can say a lot of things about my kids but being lazy just isn't one of them.  They are always ready, willing and able to do a good days work. 

The picture above I just snapped this morning.  Mike built a custom garden (I'll post pictures later) and he needs Jay's help in digging a trench.  I joked with Jay that most of his friends were probably still sleeping and he was headed out to work with his dad for the day.  At the start of summer I encouraged Jay to detassel but he declined.  We've told Jay he needs to have saved $3000 for a car by the time he turns 16.  I figured he'd have to suffer the consequences if he didn't save enough money this summer.  So here it goes, I might have been wrong, perhaps he didn't need to detassel after all (geesh, I can't believe I just put that in writing).  Jay has managed to save over $200 and he hasn't even been out of school for a month yet.  I set a goal for Jay to save $500 by the end of the summer and it's looking like he just might be able to do it.  As I watched Mike's van pull out of the drive today I thanked God for the opportunity this is providing for my little work crew.  Once again it's another example that God knows so much more than I do and can even imagine. 

Our summer, so far

 I love summer.  We don't adhere to a set schedule.  We get lots of time in the sun and we play, boy do we play!  The picture above is of Nick and N. and N's cousin.  These three is all I can say.

 This week Nick was asked to go with N. to his grandparents farm.  Nick loves the farm.  When I asked him if he wanted to go, the picture above is the reaction I got from Nick. 

 Ausili came out on Saturday morning and Sieb and Aus worked on Faith's car.  Love their bond. 

 And what can I possibly say about these four?  They have been friends for 12 years and they are sandwiched in between each other.  We spend so much time at Laura's pool in the summer. 

The boys have spent countless and I mean countless hours on the water this summer.  They are catching fish like crazy!!

My learning curve

When Mike lost his job in November 2015 I had no idea of what to expect in the months that followed.  I experienced a range of emotions from happiness, sadness, shame, honesty, humility and trust and biggest of all, I felt first hand God's love for me and I was overwhelmed by it.  I am not the same person I was seven months ago and that is a good thing.  Mike is not even close to the same person and our boys have witnessed up close and personal our transformation.  This blog is really for Jay and Nick.  As they age and get ready for adulthood I would tell them the following:

*Surround yourself with friends who will bare your burdens.  Where in the world would we be without our friends? 
*Family is family.  I would tell Jay and Nick that in a crises, their differences won't matter.  Your brother is your brother just as my sister is my sister.  She felt my pain and prayed for me. 
*Pray, pray and pray again - together!
*Kindness is a class act.  It sets your apart from others.
*Money is important but it's not everything.  Be smart with your money!!! 
*The worst of times can be the best of times.  There are some days when I wish we could go back to those early days in November and December.  Crazy huh?  But our family, especially Mike and I were so raw and vulnerable.  And honestly, when we were at our worst was when we felt God the most. 
*Be open and still. 
*Surrender - I remember in January I talked about surrendering with Mike and his response was, "What does that even mean?"  I get it, surrendering is a hard thing to learn but in our circumstances we had no other choice but to surrender.
*Look for God "winks" - they are everywhere!
*Know that life is hard.  You were never promised an easy life but have faith, Jesus overcame the world.
*Everyone is broken.  I don't care how their life looks on facebook.  Everyone (yes, everyone) has a story of brokenness. 
*Don't judge people (see above, everyone has a story of brokenness). 
*Forgive yourself. 

Worry

I have spent this past week worrying.  What a colossal waste of time.  I know worry doesn't help anything and most of what I'm worried about is silly but it was like the last seven months just hit me full force.  I've spent months being strong for Mike and the boys, months monopolizing conversations with my closest friends (thank you Ausili's) and family (thank you mom) and all of the sudden I decided I was worn out from all of it.  I'm tired of bad decisions that still linger.  However, I haven't felt that Mike and I have made one bad decision since Nov. 11.  Honestly, I think every decision we've made has been faith based and we've taken our time.  I just wish all of our decisions for the past 17 years would have been bathed in a whole lot more prayer!  Part of being a Christian is owning up to your past mistakes, asking for forgiveness and moving on.  I know this and understand this but I haven't done a great job at it.  Just this morning I was asking God for his forgiveness because I have not kept my end of the bargain.  When I started praying for Mike and God intervened, I promised him over and over that I would trust him.  I'd say I'm about 50/50.  I try to trust but some days it's hard.  Recently I read an article entitled, "3 Graces to Allow Yourself When You Are Adjusting to a New Normal."  The basic three were; The Grace of Time, The Grace of Space and The Grace of a Pure Heart.  Wow did these speak to me.  The beautiful thing about the holy spirit is if I stop to listen to it, really stop, I can hear it.  This morning as I took my walk God reminded me that he has taken care of everything.  There is not one thing in my life right now at this very instant that I need to worry about, not one.  Worrying about what may happen is nonsense.  I can either choose to let go of my worry and live each day knowing who is really control or I can spend my days worried and that bogs me down.  I confessed some concerns to Mike about my worry and he acknowledged them but now it's time to move on from that blanket of worry.  After all, I'm so not in charge and as I've stated many times in my blog when it comes right down to it, I really don't know a whole lot!  I may think I do but I don't.