One day at a time

It's been a hard 3 months.  Heck, it's been a hard year.  On Oct. 9 we crossed the 3 month finish line for mom's stroke and Oct. 15 we crossed the 6 month mark of my dad's death.  What a year!  Full discloser, lately I've wondered where God is in all this.  I wonder how and why this has happened to our family, not once but twice.  Why did my mom have this stroke and on top of that why does she have diabetes?  Yes, I know we can go through the medical reasons for the stroke and diabetes, but I'm questioning the spiritual reasons.  Everyday I remind myself God is in control and I know He loves all of us, beyond any of our comprehension, but still I struggle.  This week Kim and I took mom to the stroke doctor.  He went over mom's MRI and CT scans.  He showed us the "good" side of her brain which has a prominent vein for blood to pass through, then he showed us the "bad" side of her brain.  The vein was barely visible.  The damage to her brain was staring us right in the face.  The facts are mom is not a surgical candidate, she is at a very high risk for another stroke, they are hoping to reduce mom's risk for another stroke with medication management.  None of the news was great, but it wasn't terrible either.  Her doctor was amazed that mom lives independently.  He said most people who have the kind of stroke mom did aren't as recovered as she is.  I do remind myself often the woman has had 2 strokes in 3 months time and battles diabetes on top of it.  She's pretty much super woman if you ask me.  It's also a good reminder that God has not forgotten us.  Mom may not be restored to the place where she or us would like her to be, but God has granted her more time on this earth and yes it may look different but it's not any less meaningful.  The bottom line is hope remains and no one has more faith and hope than mom.  She very proudly states that there will not be any more strokes and in 2 years time (mom loves her time lines, something that strokes don't always adhere to but she tries) she'll be as good as new.  I have prayed, boy have I prayed that God can give me the kind of faith my mom has and I've begged Him to honor my mom's confident declaration.   Even if mom only recovers a wee bit more, even if her speech is always a little broken and even if her right arm doesn't get to the point in assisting with daily living, I pray she has no more strokes.