Friday, August 6, 2021

Preparing for Empty Nest 101

 I started this blog YEARS ago.  Like seriously I think Nick was 2 or 3 and Jay was 6 or 7.  Nick is now 15 and Jay is 19.  The boys still preside in our home but are never home.  Jay is a typical 19 year old.  He works full time and hangs out with his friends.  We see him in passing.  When he gets up in the morning I see him in the kitchen packing his lunch before work - trying to limit the amount of questions I ask him, knowing he's not the greatest morning person.  Mike and I usually see him when he gets home from work.  He showers and jets off to his next activity.  Nick who is as social as the day is long is also rarely home.  He's always planning his next adventure.  Since he's only 15 I imagine this will only accelerate when he turns 16.  Mike and I are spending many dinners alone.  The biggest difference is we stay at home.  When we were dating before marriage and kids we went out to eat...constantly.  Now we live in the stix, about 30 minutes from the nearest restaurant and I'm 47.  My waistline can only afford to go out so many times.  Although Mike has started a new job endeavor he still seems to be working 7 days/week.  It's annoying.  My prayer is he can figure out his schedule and make more time for us in the months to come because as I've told him, we're coming full circle - right back to where we started, just the two of us. It's not that I wish I was back to giving kids a bath every night and reading them a story, although I'd jump at the chance for just one more night.  Young mothers, you have no idea when the last bath or the last bedtime story will come.  I think it might be God's gift to us.  It's best we just don't know that.  As a mom it is a hard adjustment to know you aren't as needed as you once were.  Pre-empty nesting is like getting your freedom back but it's a freedom that is tainted by years of mothering, knowing what you're capable of  and knowing your entire being has been centered around your children for years - making plans for them, implementing them, supporting them and building them into the kids God made them to be.  I was always sure I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do.  I was and am sure I was exactly where He wanted me to be.  I still don't doubt that and I'm confident His plans for me far outweigh my own because I really knowing nothing.  Life is just a series of adjustments and I rest in God's plan for my empty nest phase.  

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