The fleeces

 As I thought and fretted over what I would write about today it suddenly occurred to me that I would go along with the daily questions asked in my "On Purpose" study.  There is no sense in worrying about what to write about everyday.  It kinda of defeats the purpose, just saying.  The question posed today was what fleece are you going to lay out to God?  The exact questions were: 

What questions do you have about God's ability to use you?  What ministry or calling feels far-fetched and overwhelming right now?  

I know I have serious doubts in whatever God may ask me to do.  I'm really trying to wrap my head around the fact that I truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, that I can do nothing on my own.  I can only do what I'm called to do because of Him.  I remember this so vividly five years ago when Mike lost his job.  I still tell people it was like we sat in the backseat of a car while God took over the direction and handling of the car.  

Answering the second question is challenging and I've spent most of the day thinking about it.  What I can say is this I will soon be entering the empty nest season of my life.  Nick will be 18 in three years and Jay is moving out in two weeks.  Anyone who knows Nick knows he always has a plan.  Even at 15, he's rarely home.  He's always off to the next thing.  So although I'm still busy, I'm finding I have more time for myself, something I longed for in my 30's.  However, as I inch my way forward into this next season I find I have feelings of uncertainity, doubt and a bit of lonliness.  Afterall I work alone from home all day and live with boys - enough said.  

Additionally, I am not happy in my job.  Join the club, right?  I don't know how an upcoming empty nest phase and being unhappy in your job intertwine with one another but I am open to the possibilities.  I had a quick thought today (it was literally in my head for a second) that I could minister to my minister.  I think strong pastors who lead churches are under a lot of pressure and stress.  I think that culturally it will only get worse. The journey is fresh and new.  I'll keep on keeping on to see where it leads me. 

On a funny note, my 30 day journey is going well...so far.  Mike, however, would beg to differ.  I have probably been a wee bit edgy at night but that's only because I'm starved for conversation and if you know Mike, he's not a conversationalist.  

30 days

This is me: imperfect, unworthy, broken.  I continue to be a work in progress.  At 47 I had hoped I would have more figured out about life but I don't......not even close.  I live by my favorite bible verse, Philippians 3:14, "So I run straight toward the goal in order to win the prize which is God's call through Christ Jesus to the life above."  I've learned life is no sprint but a long winded marathon.  During my life run I've fallen many times, too many times to count, but because of Jesus I get up, dust myself off and keeping running towards the goal.    

On Sept. 24 I decided to give up alcohol for 30 days.   At the time I made that decision to cleanse my physical body but then yesterday (Sept. 26) I had an ah-ha moment that changed my entire thought process and goal(s).  I want to clear out all the distractions that get in the way of my relationship with God and His plan for my life - my purpose.  My pastor has been preaching about living "On Purpose."  The sermon he preached yesterday really spoke to me and then I got together with my sister and dear friend, Mary, who once again filled my cup.  Mary planted another seed and encouraged me to also give up social media and TV for 30 days.  I think I might have gasped when she mentioned it but then I really got to thinking about it.  If I'm completely honest alcohol, social media and TV (in no particular order) are three of my biggest distractions.  I figure I might as well rip the band aide off, painful as it may be and conquer all three at once.  In these next 30 days I really want to hear and see what the Holy Spirit wants me to do and how I can better serve God.  Giving up my three vices for 30 days won't be easy but I believe that at the end of this quest I will find it was so worth it.   

Come along side me as I go through these next 30 days.  

I did it

 I'm not going to post before and after pictures and I'm not going to write a big blog about how or what I did but as of today I finally reached my goal weight.  I wanted to lose 21 lbs and I did.  I started in early March 2021 and ended today, Sept. 22.  It took me nearly 6 months but I did it.  I pretty much did a happy dance on the scale this morning.  Life is good and I'm thankful. 

What's going on

 I have wanted to blog for weeks but wow things have been busy at work and in my personal life.  I decided to take just a little bit of time today to write an update on what's going on with everyone.  

Amy - Eighteen months ago my job changed.  Saying there has been growing pains is putting it mildly.  But slowly I'm starting to adapt to the new territory I handle.  I miss being out and visiting my people but I am happy to have a job and work from home.  I've lost 20 lbs.  My goal was 21 lbs.  I'm oh so close.  I feel so much better.  

Mike - Mike is home inspecting full time now. I stand in awe over how God has worked in Mike's life.  In the summer of 2020 Mike was really feeling worn out with Cornerstone.  Mary pitched the idea of home inspection to Mike and then hooked him up with a company she works with and the rest is history.  Mike began home inspecting for them in the spring of 2021.  He has kept Cornerstone and still works for the sorority that he's worked for since he started his business.  In time he may end up closing Cornerstone for good.  There are still a lot of unknowns but we've grown accostomed to that during this wild ride we've been on for 5 years.  

Jay - Jay is plumbing full time. He works for a friend of mine that I used to work with at State Farm.  Philip and I started together at State Farm and when he had an opportunity for a plumbing apprentice he hired Jay.  Jay will be with Philip for 6 months at the end of October. He seems to like the trade.  Jay is living at home but will be moving out in the next few weeks.  The blessing of having him home these past sixteen months (since he graduated high school) is another blog post all together.  Again I give all the glory to God.  It is time for Jay to move out and spread his wings but I will miss him terribly. 

Nick - Nick is living his best life.  He is a sophomore, playing football and doing all things Nick. He loves football but the schedule has been grueling.  He dresses varsity but plays JV.  He has games every Friday and Monday night. Most days he's out the door by 6:45 and home at 7pm at night. We bought him his first vehicle a few weeks ago so he could start driving it and getting use to it.  He has a date to homecoming.  I'm thrilled because if you talked to this boy this summer he thought homecoming was stupid and he was not going to participate.  I'm glad he changed his mind.  After what was a challenging freshman year (because of Covid) he said to me the other day how much he is enjoying high school.  It's refreshing to see kids back doing normal things.  We're not 100% yet but it's better than it was. 

My Mom - My mom is doing well.  We had an opportunity to get her into assisted living which she was agreeable to.  Kim and I welcomed the social part of it and having all her meals provided and simply less up keep with her home.  But it was not to be.  Walker was the issue.  The facility required that he be on a leash to go potty and mom simply can't do that.  Kim was super disappointed but being at home is where God wants mom to be right now.  Mom struggles with her speech but through some guess work Kim and I can usually guess what she's trying to say. 

I'm enjoying this season of my life right now.  Sure there are some challenges but I think every season is unique in its own way.  I remain deeply concerned with where my country is headed but I'm reminded every day my hope is not in the ways of this world or the culture.  My hope rests in Jesus and Him alone and that gives me extraordinary peace during the unknowns of todays world. 

Girl Trip - Cheaper than therapy - Labor Day Weekend

 My good friend, Betsy, pulled the trigger and booked a girls trip for us.  Me, Kim and four of my friends (Betsy, Laura, Taylor and Calli) went to New Buffalo, MI.  We had such a good time.  We rented a house and spent our weekend laughing, eating and drinking.  I mean does it get any more perfect?   We also went to the beach where I ended up losing my favorite and expense sunglasses.  I had no idea the lake waves would be so strong!  Anyway, I sure enjoyed my long weekend with these gals.  Such a wonderful time. 

Sieb and Nick spent their labor day weekend in TX with Mike and Jenny.  Needless to say it was a fun filled weekend for the Siebert family. 

America's Rebirth

 *This was my writing piece I wrote for my club in August.  I am proud of what I wrote and it took courage for me to read it, knowing I am a conservative minded woman in a group of liberal minded women.  My country is a changin' and I wrote this with concern in my heart.  

Disclaimer: It is 3am on Tuesday, Aug. 10.  I am up in the middle of the night writing this because  the idea came to me, it was keeping me up and it’s something I am most disturbed about these days.  In writing this I certainly hope I do not offend anyone.  Much of what I write will be based on my personal experiences and observations.  After I finished writing this and was able to self reflect I believe a major take away from it is that I understand and appreciate both sides.  It’s fair to say I fall somewhere right in the middle. That being said I’d like to start with a few facts about myself:

#1 - I am vaccinated and so is my husband.  I got vaccinated because my mother is classified as one of the most vulnerable.  My husband got vaccinated because he is in the public everyday for his job.  My children who are 19 and 15 have chosen not to get the vaccine at this time and I respect their decisions.  I would say it is about 50/50 for my friends who are vaccinated.  50% are and 50% aren’t.  

#2 - I believe Covid is real.  I am not a conspiracy theorist.  I am well aware it is a deadly disease to the most vulnerable.  Even people who have recovered got very sick and it remains unknown what the long term effects will be on their health. 

 

Alan Jackson wrote a song entitled, “Where were you when the world stopped turning?”  The song was about September 11, 2001.  The day America came under attack by terrorists.  Most people know exactly where they were when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.  The same question could be asked about March 2020, specifically March 13, 2020.  That was the day schools shut down and lock-down orders were implemented.  Americans were asked to stay home for two weeks to flatten the curve in order to not overwhelm the hospitals.  Fast forward to the current day, eighteen months later.  What was supposed to be 10 days turned into three months of being locked down in Illinois.  In my opinion things have gone from bad to worse.  Usually I have a positive outlook on most everything but recently I expressed my pessimism with my friend, Sarah.  I shared with her that I feared the life we knew in America may have ended on March 12, 2020.  She disagreed with me and pointed out that pandemics last on average three years and life as we know it will come back.  I’m glad there are Sarah’s in the world and I’m blessed to call her my friend.  It seems to me that America has been in a rebirth before the pandemic but March 13, 2020 really set things into motion.  A month ago I traveled to Hawaii.  There were many hoops that my vaccinated self had to jump through, not to mention the additional hoops my unvaccinated boys had to jump through but we were after all going to paradise so I jumped through the hoops, knowing that once my family arrived the hoop jumping would all be worth it.  I understood that when we got off the plane we’d have to go through a line and show our QR codes issued to us by the state of Hawaii.  I was dreading the process, thinking TSA might herd us mainlanders like cattle but to my surprise the process went well.  Sure it felt a little like Nazi Germany, standing in line and showing our special codes in order to be accepted and then ushered in but I can appreciate that Hawaii draws in tons of tourists from around the world.  My biggest irritation came when we checked into our resort.  The resort clerk indicated we’d have to show our QR codes again to prove the airport granted us passage into the big island.  I smiled at this worker who was only doing her job but I asked her, “How do you think we got here?  There’s only one way to get into the big island and we sure didn’t swim.”  To me that wasn’t following the science.  Just last week NYC advised that unvaccinated people can no longer go out to eat, go to a gym or attend concerts.  Restrictions throughout the country loosened in the late spring of 2021 and employers started to talk about what a return to work would look like.  A major employer in central Illinois brought some of their employees back to work but unvaccinated people were kept separate from vaccinated folks.  Granted this has changed some since the Delta Variant has wreaked havoc. I can appreciate the liability employers face and making those decisions are way above my pay grade but the human side of me struggles with it.  An unvaccinated friend of mine who returned to work compared the isolation at work to wearing a big scarlet letter.   And whatever happened to HIPAA, the privacy act?   I handle workers compensation claims and the only thing I can inquire about is a workers’ work status.  Asking about their overall health status is unheard and down right unethical in my line of work.  A woman I know who has attended the same church for upteen million years and has been an active member of her church choir was recently told she could no longer sing on Sunday mornings unless she was vaccinated.  I think that was when I took a step back and asked myself what in the world is going on?  The Covid 19 vaccine is not FDA approved.  The death rates are down especially when you look at January 2021 compared to August.  Never in America’s history have we locked down the healthy.  Perhaps part of my frustration is in the mixed messages we as a country have received.  First we were told masks were not necessary.  Then we were told masks were vital to stop the spread.  Then we were told two masks worked better than one.  After we were vaccinated we continued to wear the masks due to again mixed messaging that yes we could still spread the virus to finally hearing that No, we couldn’t.  Currently we’re being told that vaccinated Americans should wear masks in high risk areas but then Delta arrived.  On July 29, 2021 Newsweek reported that according to the CDC the Delta variant is equally contagious amongst vaccinated and unvaccinated and they can spread it equally.  It reported the CDC acknowledged they were wrong but said people still needed the vaccine to lessen the symptoms.  It is becoming increasingly difficult to decipher facts from fiction.   

Will vaccinated and unvaccinated people soon be walking around with big UV (unvaccinated)  and V (vaccinated) letters tattooed on their body or stamped on their clothing indicating their vaccination status?  All rational thoughts tell us absolutely not, those are what the vaccine passports are for, right?  When our media publicly declares that life for unvaccinated people needs to become very difficult I shudder.  I truly do see both sides of this. A good friend of mine is a nurse at one of our local ER’s.  She is seeing an uptick in Covid positive hospitalizations and most of them are unvaccinated.  All of these factors weigh heavily on my heart and I wonder what is to come for America.  Is there a rebirth happening?  What does that even look like and at what cost?  Only time will tell.  Perhaps I’m overthinking things.  If I ask myself what really bothers me the most it comes down to the ones I care deeply about; my children and some of my dearest friends who are very intelligent individuals I might add have made the choice not to get vaccinated.  Personal health choices have always been championed in America but it feels almost as if a darkness has spread throughout the country and pitted us against each other.  I’m reminded of a verse from Mark (Mark 3:24) “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.” .