Faithful

I am currently engaged in a once a week pilates class, and I love it.  However, pilates isn't the point of this blog (maybe next time).  Mike had the privilege of working on the pilates studio where I now take my class.  He and the owner collaborated on ideas and wow, does the studio look amazing.  Customers see a great shoe rack to put their shoes on.  A handy purse rack for their purses, and a modern looking coat rack to hang their coats on, and amazing shiplap wall.  I, however, see so much more.  I see how God used Mike's talents for His glory.  I see how He he made sure the paths of Mike and the owner of the pilates studio would cross (who Mike and I now consider a friend).  And every time I catch a glimpse of Mike's wooden cross he made for the studio as I'm trying to breathe through one of the pilates ab moves, I'm instantly reminded of God's faithfulness.  Last January I was a mess.  I may not have shown that to people, but I was a cluster of emotions.  I vividly remember thinking how I wished I could see what the following January would look like.  Here I am exactly a year later taking a weekly pilates class in the studio that was worked on by my husband's hands and it gets me every time.  My faith grew immensely when I was in despair.  The fear of the unknown no longer frightens me, as I have lived and witnessed God's faithfulness.  As things in my life have gotten "back to normal," I must confess my prayer life has gotten more laid back.  I am not as deliberate or intentional.  I understand now more than ever why God allows our suffering - it's his way in building a bridge for a deeper relationship with us.  I know He gives me an extraordinary amount of grace and above all, He knows and understands I'm human.  Not a day goes by (not a day) that I don't think about this past year and am utterly amazed by God's faithfulness. 

Fifteen is keen

 My "baby" is 15 today.  My grandma use to write me poems on some of my birthdays.  Although I don't have the poem she wrote me when I was 15, I remember she entitled it, "Fifteen is keen!"  So although Jay would think the title of his 15th birthday blog is totally lame, I did it in honor of his great grandma and really, in truth, fifteen is keen!  How does 15 look on Jay........TALL!!!!!  And he's still growing.  Jay was 3 in the picture above.  Could I have possibly imagined what he would look like or be like (below) 12 years later?  I think not.  I was too busy worrying, feeling guilty and questioning myself at every turn.  Jay took an incredible amount of energy in his early years.  I wish I could tell all mothers who have a young Jay to stay obedient, patient, consistent, and most of all calm.  I still have many years of parenting Jay ahead of me, and life has certainly taught me that it can change in an instant, but this boy has been a pleasure to parent (especially these last 4 years). 

 Jay just started driver's ed this past weekend.  He's obsessed with finding a vehicle.  We've told him he needs to come with some "sweat equity" which translates to $3,000.  Needless to say this boy will need a job this summer.  Jay has a dry sense of humor.  His favorite responses these days are, "It is not my hour," (take from Jesus himself) and "I'd love nothing more."  These are his "fun" responses to things I ask him to do.  I respond by rolling my eyes and telling him I don't care, get to it!  He has really come into his own this past year and feels comfortable in his own skin (as much as any 15 year old can feel comfortable in their skin at 15).  I look for any opportunity to spend time with him.  I follow a blogger who recently joked that when her college age son asked her if she could go to lunch, she cancelled a scheduled conference call, threw on a bra, and darted out the door!  I can totally relate.  Spending meaningful time with Jay these days is slim pickings.  He doesn't get excited like he use to when I'd take him to the park or the petting zoo.  Go figure.  

 When I was going through pictures this week in anticipation for Jay's birthday I came across this one.  These two boys have my heart.  Jay and Reece have been friends since they were in second grade (when this picture was taken).  When people tell you that the friends your kids pick is HUGE, they aren't kidding.  I see that more and more as Jay ages.  I find myself praying that both of my boys have a Mary Fox and Mike and Jenny Ausili in their friends.   

Jay and Reece as freshman as their first homecoming.  If I were giving out advice to Jay, and more importantly, if he were listening, which at 15, he's not too interested in what his momma has to say, I'd remind him of who he is.  He is a boy who has been challenged by ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, being 2nd string on his basketball team for years, and if he were to be honest, there have been times he's felt less than (as we all have), but he's risen above all that, and has not allowed those things to define him.  I would tell him to keep God front and center, and I get that at 15, being "godly" isn't the "cool" thing to do, but I'd tell him that based on the choices he's already made, he's doing just that.  I would remind him that when life gets tough, it's not how you started the race, it's how you end and that anything that is worth something from the work he'll do to the friends he will have, the bride he will someday marry (hopefully), to the children he will have a hand at raising, that none of that comes easy - anything that is meaningful is hard work and through God's grace and love, this thing we all call life this side of heaven can be his greatest testament. 

I sure do love you, Jay Michael Siebert!!! 

Jays obsession with pecan pie

I have a confession, I've never made a pecan pie (until tonight).  After Thanksgiving our friends, Jami and Brandy, invited us over for their left over pecan pie and Jay absolutely fell in love with it.  For Christmas Brandy made us an entire pie and Jay devoured it.  Truly, had I known he would love it so much I would have made it years ago.  It makes me smile to know he loves it because surely my nanny is smiling down from heaven seeing her great, great grandson eating her favorite pecan pie.  Truthfully the look of it always turned me off but I must admit, I've developed a liking to it.  I bought the ingredients today in anticipation for Jay's birthday next week.  Tonight he begged me to make one for him.  Finally I relented but only if he agreed to make it with me.  After all, I'll take anything I can get from Jay these days.  So, the two of us set out together in the kitchen to make our first ever pecan pie.  It's still cooling as I blog so the verdict is out as to whether or not it's any good.  The best part was after it came out I was trying to take a selfie with Jay and I with the pie. Jay was trying to explain to me how to do it and I kept messing up and suddenly it occurred to me, this was me and my own mother...."What Amy, how do I send a group text?"  I know my mom is laughing right now.  See mom, it's not just you.  My almost 15 year old had to tell me how to take a selfie and I still failed, hence why there is only picture of a pie!  I sure did enjoy making my first pecan pie with my teenager tonight! 

This, that and the other

Today is the last day of Christmas break (Hallejah!).  We just have to get through the weekend and come Monday, my "darlings" will be back at school.  Overall, the break has been nice and relaxing but today is day 15 and let's just say we have cabin fever.  My mom got terribly sick right after Christmas so she wasn't able to spend as much time with the grands as she usually likes.  Thankfully she turned a corner this week and as I blog her and Nick are at the movies.  It's also very cold here now, like the kind of cold that takes your breath away.  I'm enjoying some much needed quiet time on my couch while my dogs stare at me.  I'm sure they are wondering why it's so quiet in the house.  There are no video games going, no back to back Simpsons episodes (oh yes, that's been a "fun" part of the break), no one is taking a shower (Jay's favorite past time this break), and there is no bickering!  Jay and his friend, Aaron, decided to brave the cold and head outside.  Nothing says stupid like 15 year old boys!  I am trying to get myself back in shape, which essentially means I'm trying to do something strenuous for 10 minutes without breaking into a sweat or breathing like I'm dying.  And really what does "being in shape" really mean at 42?  I'm trying to figure that out and how I want that to fit into my daily life.  I've started swimming and doing water aerobics and I absolutely love it.  I love being able to exercise on my own terms.  Ask me how much I like Zumba.  I also signed up for a once a week pilates class for 6 weeks.  This week when I did pilates I was in positions I haven't been in in 10 years, when I gave birth to Nick.  But, it's good for me.  I'm working muscles I haven't worked in a LONG time.  It's refreshing to see a new year start and it will be even better come Jan. 9 when I give my little send off to the boys!