Thursday, March 15, 2018

Dad's legacy

This morning at 2:10 a.m. my dad went home to be with our Lord.  Kim and I were blessed to be at his bedside when he took his final breath.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but God was once again at work.  As I reflect on the last two weeks I experienced a range of emotions.  I couldn't understand why God would do this to my dad after everything he went through and there is still a part of me that won't understand this side of heaven.  However, I see the gifts He placed on our journey.  My sister and I had the honor of spending my dad's final days with him, just the three of us.  We adore our Aunt Karen - like seriously adore her, but for some reason God chose March 5 for the day that dad would get sick.  It was also the day that Aunt Karen committed to watching her granddaughter full time.  Due to that, my sister and I handled dad's care and spent countless hours with him, just the three of us.  In some ways, it was like old times.  We laughed together and Kim and I made it our goal to make it as light as possible for our dad in his final days.  My relationship with Kim was strengthened.  One of the best compliments I received was from my Aunt Karen who said  (while my dad only had 12 more hours to live) that Kim and I had provided my dad with such love and value during his final days.  My dad also leaves me with a sense of courage and perseverance.  Additionally, I have such admiration for hospice workers and nursing home staff.  People at the end of their life have just as much value as anyone else, and deserve love, kindness and dignity. Last night at 12:17 a.m. my Aunt called me and said the nurse on duty, Mike, called her and said my dad only had hours to live.  God bless, Mike.  Had he not called, we would not have had the opportunity to be with dad during his final hour.  Kim and I drove to dad with knots in our stomach, as we knew that what we would be walking into would not be pretty, and it wasn't, but it was also the most moving, God-filled, moment of my life.  God made sure Kim and I made it in time.  Our dad needed his daughters to send him off into heaven.  During my drive I prayed for strength.  God granted my request.  Kim and  I sat over dad, whispered we loved him relentlessly, told him it was okay to go home, recited the Lord's prayer and finally, we told him we told him we knew he loved us and I told him that I would continue to see him in Kim's sense of humor, Jay's handsome good looks, Nick's work ethic, Luke's silly faces, and Lauren's affectionate nature.  It was at that time dad drew his last breath and went to his eternal home.  Thanks be to God and his gift of salvation through Jesus Christ!  It's because of that gift the gates are open to us.  One day I know dad will be waiting for me at the gates with a healthy body, a voice I can understand clearly, with arms outstretched as he says, "Welcome daughter, I have been waiting for you."

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