Sunday, March 11, 2018

I see God

It's funny how life can change in an instant.  I always say it's the things you don't see coming that hit you the hardest.  I think back to what my day looked like last Sunday and the boys, Mike and I were tearing up our carpet, jamming to music with the windows open and eating burgers for lunch.  Even though we were doing physical labor, it was a good day.  Then at 2:38 a.m. on Monday morning, it all changed with a phone call.  My dad was being rushed to the ER.  He was admitted and by Wednesday my sister, aunt and I heard the news we never saw coming.  My dad has a large, aggressive, malignant and inoperable tumor at the base of his tongue.  After everything my dad has been through I was not and am not prepared to see him go out like this, but then death is never fun.  The past few days all I've had to hang my hat on God's promises to us.  My dad is a believer.  My sister and I have held firmly onto Romans 8:18 (the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming).  I know my dad will soon be in the presence of his Heavenly Father.  Today I caught him looking at the framed picture of his parents in his room.  I think he knows he will soon be with them. Over the past few days I have seen God at work and I know he has not forgotten my dad and that he loves us all.  It started on Friday morning with the stranger who told me to tell my dad "the best is yet to come."  Then the ENT doctor who called my aunt personally to tell her as a family we were making the right decision in terms of proceeding with hospice.  This was the affirmation we needed.  Every family member questions whether there was more they could do or if there was something different they could have tried.  The ENT doctor put any doubts we had to rest.  We saw God in the tears of the nursing home director who cried and assured us that it would be an honor to service our dad in his final days.  My dad has been a resident for 8 years and he is loved by the staff and they are now in the process of saying their goodbyes to my dad.  I saw God on Friday when He gave me, my sister and my dad the gift of time.  The three of us spent the entire day together in dad's hospital room.  My dad was awake most of the day and although many times I could see fear in his eyes, there were other times we saw our dad from our childhood in his expressions and his laughter.  It was truly a gift for all three of us.  We made him laugh and he made us laugh. Kim saw God through his nurse on his first night back at the nursing home.  Her name was Brandi and she cried with Kim and assured Kim that dad had been her patient for 8 years, she would take extra good care of him.  As I write this my dad is dying.  It is horrific to watch, but I am thankful for hospice and my dad seems to be in very little pain.  I continue to pray for peace and comfort for him until his Heavenly Father calls him home.

No comments: