This is 45

Today is my 45th birthday.  I am officially middle aged.  The chances of me living another 45 years are probably pretty slim.  I promise the uplifting part of this blog is coming.  Stay with me.  At 45 my relationship with my weight has become a thorn in my side.  Let's just say the scale and I are not friends.  I can fast, work out, watch my carbs, cut out alcohol (I find this most challenging) for days and maybe lose 1/2 pound, but if I dare enjoy myself for one evening, watch out, hell hath no fury!  I end up gaining back the 1/2 pound I lost plus 3 more additional pounds.
At 45 my oldest son is 8 months away from being a legal adult and only one year away from graduating high school (gulp).  My younger son who always been in my corner in my testosterone household of men recently turned on me like a viper.  The teenage years have officially started with Nick.   This is my first birthday without Jenny close by.  Instead she is several states away.  I'm spending way more money on my hair products and make up at 45.  I use to easily be able to go 8 to 10 weeks for my hair color.  My 45 year old hair can only make it about six weeks before I start to look like B. Arthur from the Golden Girls.  I enjoy a good cocktail way more at 45 than I did at 35.  The verdict is still out whether that is a good or bad thing.  Personally I think it's a great thing, just sayin.  But here's the thing about Amy Siebert at 45.  I am comfortable in my own skin, even though that skin has expanded significantly.  I am comfortable in who I am as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend.  And for a few of the things that make me a wee bit sad on my 45th birthday, there are just as many things that make me very happy on my birthday.  I had dinner this week with my dear girlfriends, Mary and Sarah.  I am closer to my sister than I have been in years.  My mom is still here on this earth so I get to celebrate another birthday with her and Mother's Day.  I am FINALLY after 15 years seeing the vision Mike and I had for our house come to fruition.  Reading a book on my finished deck makes me very happy! At 45 I have been married for 21 years.  On our anniversary I got up and said to Mike, "Well another year down and we made it longer than my parents."  We fist bumped each other.  Mike and I laugh more together now than we ever have.  We don't take things too seriously.   As Jay and Nick's mom I am acutely aware of how time flies.  Picture a large hour glass in your home.  Each and everyday I see the sand running through that little hole, leaving me with very little sand left, representing the time I have with them.  I laugh more now with my boys than I have in the past, especially Jay.  Jay makes me laugh more than ever before, and Nick continues to school me on things I know nothing about (fishing!).  It's bittersweet to see your kids grow but the older they get the more I get to enjoy my life and my life with them.  Forty five is kind of nice!