This summer

Tomorrow will be Aug. 1 and in 13 days my boys will go back to school.  My heart is heavy!  Yes, you read that correctly.  There were so many summers where by Aug. 1 I was ready to lose my ever loving mind!  I didn't think I could take another episode on the Disney Channel, the Popsicle wrappers all over the house, the fighting between the boys, the money I hemorrhaged, and the mounds of laundry!  But this summer was the summer of absolute sweetness!  Granted it was not the greatest summer for my mom but for my boys.....it was pure joy!  Let me start with Jay.  His job was a such a blessing!  He worked full time the entire summer and even got a raise.  It built confidence in him, taught him a skill and I saw him grow leaps and bounds in so many areas of his life.  People, you have to understand this is my boy who I wondered if I would ever get him raised!  My mom had to consistently remind me that Jay was "under construction."  Mike had to remind me that boys are built, and girls are "raised."  The best part of all of this is that because Jay is working full time there is no time to argue with Nick.  At night I hear the boys laughing from the cat walk.  I hear them sharing things between the two of them.  I literally have to pinch myself.  Tomorrow Jay leaves for the Ozarks to take a trip with "his boys."  His boys are is his people!  As he left tonight I told him to be careful, have fun and to use his brain (my favorite line)!  But really, what a great way for these boys to start their senior year!
As for Nick....once he settled into his summer schedule I got to see the Nick I know and love.  Stress plays a huge part in Nick's reactions to things and school stresses him out.  I am really hoping and praying he can learn how to better handle stress and school.  I really don't want a repeat of 7th grade again!  Ugh.  Nick has spent hours on the lake, working with Mike and hanging with his friend, Mason, our neighbor.  When Mason was over today I told him I didn't know what Nick would have done without him this summer.  Mason will be a freshman and is going to a different school.  Thankfully the boys live across the street from each other so I don't anticipate their friendship changing.
Truly as this summer comes to an end I am more sad than anything.  I would pay money to make it last just a bit longer but then I'd come to the end and only want more.  It's hard to wrap my head around my first born being a senior.  But then I have to remind myself this is why Mike and I worked so hard.  It has always been my goal to see Jay flourish and now that I'm so close to it, it's hard to accept.  That is the bittersweet part of parenting.  I remember when I was entering my senior year of high school.  In August, right before school started, my parents marriage was a disaster and by October my dad had moved out.  Talk about a derailment.  But I know my mom was so proud of Kim and I during that time.  Perhaps it was clouded by her sadness but what a joy it is regardless of your circumstance (and in my case, my mom's stroke and fall this summer and in her case 30 some years ago, her divorce) to see them slowly (but surely) turn into the adults you have desired them to be!