Advice

 This is what I wrote for my February writing group:

Philippians 3:14: I run straight towards the goal in order to win the prize, which is God’s call through Christ Jesus, to the life above. 

This is one of my favorite bible verses. In my Good News Bible I received as a gift when I was baptized at age 11 there is a picture of a man running a race.  At 11, I never knew that as an adult this particular bible verse would intersect with some of the best advice I ever received from none other than my mother.  I mean who else would it be?  Growing up I struggled in school.  I had a learning disability and back in the 80’s those weren’t really diagnosed but if I were to guess I believe I had a touch of ADHD and some serious oral processing issues. My mom and dad never struggled in school.  My mother was an honor roll student and my dad was an executive at the company he worked for.  Learning for them came easy but for me, it didn’t which is why when my parents sat in a staffing meeting when I was first grade and they were told I had learning issues my mother, especially, was dumb founded.  I made it through high school as an average C student which sometimes was annoying when learning seemed to come so easily for my friends.  Once when I had studied for a test that my mom and I were sure I would pass with flying colors because I had studied so hard, instead I came home with a C.  Mom was quick to point out that C was average, it was nothing to be ashamed of.  I turned on her like a viper and hissed, “I don’t want to be average.” It was then she said, “Amy, it’s not how you start the race, it’s how you end it.”  There have never been words more true.  That advice is true from elementary school to middle school to high school and from parenting to marriage. I am raising two boys who like their mother and their father have learning issues and have struggled through school.  I have used my mother’s advice over and over with them, “Boys, it’s not how you start the race, it’s how you end it.”  Recently my 13 year old niece started at a new school.  Before she started she had to take assessment tests in order to determine where she fell academically.  Sadly she did not do well and she felt defeated after taking the tests and placing lower than what she had anticipated.  I again used my mother’s advice.  I took her innocent 13 year old face in my hands and said to her, “Lauren, it’s not how you start the race, it’s how you end it.”  Sure the advice can be applied to academics but it really comes down to who are you as a person?  How did you run your race?  Did you work hard?  Did you positively influence others?  All of these things matter.  You may start slow and certainly there will be bumps and falls along the way but you can choose to end your race gloriously. 

Every once in a while I can actually give good advice myself. The advice I constantly give myself and my family is when a door opens for you, walk through it.  It may be nothing but at least give it the opportunity it deserves.  The door may be cracked but you can push it open further and it may lead to something you never thought possible.  I have seen this happen time and time again in my own life but also for my family.  A door opened 10 years ago for me to work at home.  It was scary but I walked through that open door and I’ve never regretted it.  My husband had so many doors open for his business and he’s now embarking on a new chapter of his business from a door that opened for him and he walked through.  Recently my son had a door that had cracked open just a wee bit.  He was reluctant to walk through it but after a few weeks that particular door went from being cracked to being wide open.  I offered Jay the same advice I had given myself and others through the years, the door has opened for you, the least you can do is walk through it and see what opportunities are waiting for you.  You may decide the opportunities aren’t for you and that’s okay but if you didn’t walk through the door, how would you have known the difference?  When a door opens for you, walk through it, analyze for yourself what is presented and then evaluate what is best for you.  If you never walked through the door, you miss great opportunities.