Catching our breath

I admit I've been in a sour mood this entire week.  I am trying to slowly recover from last week.  I'm trying to absorb the news that Ausili's are leaving, and it's really hard.  I've pretty much walked around the house with a Kleenex in hand and puffy eyes.  But through all the sadness I see light.  God is good at that.  Last night Sarah, Jenny and I had dinner together.  When Jenny got up to use the restroom, Sarah reached across the table, grabbed my hand, with tears in her eyes she said she hoped that even though Jenny was leaving that it wouldn't change our friendship.  With tears streaming down my cheeks I told her this common hurt we share will only make us stronger & closer.  As usual God has continued to bless me with amazing friends.  The news continues to be dominated about the school shooting in Parkland, FL last week.  As a parent of a middle schooler and high schooler, my heart is broken over the devastating loss of the 17 precious children & teachers who lost their lives senselessly.  Then Billy Graham died this week, although it's sad, it's also joyous.  Reverend Graham was 99 years old and loved Jesus Christ.
I am committing to blogging more.  My goodness I haven't even posted a picture of the boys lately.  In regards to the boys, they are good!  Jay is done with basketball.  It wasn't his best season personally, but his team won games, which was refreshing.  Jay will be having more private basketball lessons.  Whether or not he decides to play his junior year remains to be seen, but he was interested enough to continue his private lessons, so we'll see.  Nick has his final basketball tournament tomorrow.  His season was just okay also, and I don't know if he'll play next year or not.  His biggest challenge will be whether or not he can make the team.  I want to spend the next several months just trying to catch my breath.  I'm so thankful for so many things.  Mike's business continues to do well.  My boys are healthy and I'm surrounded by family and good friends.  Life is good, even during times of change.

What the heck happened this week?

What the heck happened this week was a question Nick asked just last night after a week of disappointments, illnesses, a car accident and the straw that broke the camels back, Ausili's are moving to Dallas.  Not to mention the absolute sadness I feel over the lives lost in Parkland, FL from yet another school shooting.  This was when Nick finally asked the question in his big booming voice, "What the heck happened this week?"  It was like this week literally blew up in our face.  Some weeks are just like that but this week tested me in every way. It all started with illness.  Mike got sick about 3 weeks ago and this week was so sick he missed an entire day of work.  Mike has to be near death to miss work, so yes he was near death.  This was no joking matter.  I forced him to go to the doctor and as I write this blog he's turned a corner and is slowly coming back to life.  I was sick all last week, like super sick, and haven't felt like myself since before I got sick.  It's like I've been walking around in a fog, which leads me to first big hit this week.  We had such gloomy, foggy weather that Faith got in a car accident this week.  She is okay and so were the others involved in the accident.  All I know for certain is God's hand protected her and the others, and in the midst of my heartache and disappointment this week I have a thankful heart.  I hugged her so tightly today that I thought I'd strain her already strained neck.  Life is precious, friends, as if I even had to tell you that.  Several weeks ago I learned that my dear friend, Mary, was moving "back home."  In fact she had put an offer in on a house (and they had accepted) only 20 minutes from me.  I was elated, but I also knew there was a chance the Ausili's could get a transfer with Mike's job at any time.  I pushed it out of my head as I could almost feel God saying, "Amy, I'm taking the Ausili's, but I'm giving you Mary."  And I've learned that I know nothing.  God is God and I am not.  Mary texted me this week and the sale on her house that was only 20 minutes from me fell through.  That's not to say she is not moving back home, but things are up in the air for her and John right now and it most definitely means she won't be living 20 minutes from me.  This news came from Mary on the day after Faith's accident.  Then last night I learned that Ausili's will be moving to Dallas.......13 hours from us.  I don't even have the words to write articulately at this point.  I only write to document.  I am not thinking clearly and my only laughter comes from my friend, Sarah, who loves Jenny as much as I do.  Her and I are joking that we'll have Sieb make us a She Shed and we'll drive it down to Texas and we'll make Sieb be our bartender!  In every situation I try to see some humor and I've certainly learned to be thankful in all things.  I am thankful for Sarah.  I am thankful that although things are up in the air for Mary, that house she was going to buy was not the right house for her.  There will be another house for her, in fact it will be "the house" and it will be just right for her and John.  I am thankful, oh so thankful, that Faith is okay.  I am thankful for my mother who feels every bit as sad over this news as I am, and sees the Ausili's as an extension of her family.  I will continue to pray that Dallas is where God wants the Ausili's to be and that He uses them for His glory.  In the meantime I will allow myself to feel just a little broken and devastated over the changes that are sure to come.  My husband is losing his brother, as that is what Mike Ausili has been to him, a brother, who not only was his childhood friend, but who stood by him during his job loss, prayed for him for years and then baptized him.  In putting a positive spin on this, there are good times to be had in Dallas and there is a direct flight from our local airport.  I've already promised Jenny that on the day she leaves I will never touch another cosmo again, unless I'm with her, as that is our cocktail!  I promise in the months to come I will have a more coherent blog filled with wisdom and encouragement.........Or at least I'll try anyway.

Pulling Staples

I have a new appreciation for my husband and the work he does.  Last night the boys and I assisted Mike in pulling staples out of a floor and it was awful.  The boys had done this work for Mike before and were "pros" at it.  Me, not so much.  After 3 hours my hands, wrists and shoulders were on fire, and even though I only had maybe another 30 minutes of work, I quit.  That's right, I quit!  I threw my tool down and said I was done!  Then I confronted Mike about this whole staple pulling business.  Was this something he did consistently?  He smiled and patiently said that it wasn't something he did consistently, but when he does floors (which he does a lot in my opinion) the staples have to be pulled.  I asked him how long that takes him, on average?  He said depending on the space it can range anywhere from 4 - 6 hours!!  Four to six hours, that insanity, I exclaimed!  He said he puts his ear buds in, plays music and pulls away.  Mike also does things ergonomically correct, so there is very little strain to his body, although he tells me his body feels pain everyday.  There was nothing ergonomically correct in the way I was pulling those staples.  Nick and Mike took every opportunity to tell me I was putting way more strain on my body than I needed to, which after awhile their well intended advice got annoying.  In any case, my point is, Mike works hard, literally, and although I have always known this, I had to experience it to fully appreciate it.  It's kind of like being a parent.  No one can tell you what it's like until you actually do it and experience it.  The reality is I didn't even get to experience the full extent of Mike's work but it was enough for me to know, I never want to pull staples again!

Jay's family birthday dinner

 This will be my last birthday post, I promise.  We had such a nice birthday dinner for Jay last Sunday night.  The weather was cold, but it cooperated so my mom, sister and aunt and uncle could make it out to celebrate.  I just love this picture of my mom and Jay.  Jay towers over my mom now.

 My sister is so creative.  She wrapped 16 golden boxes for Jay's golden birthday.  My favorite thing about this picture is Luke's face.  Too funny.

                          Jay's sweet smile, surrounded by his 16 golden boxes.

 I was so glad my Aunt Karen and Uncle Kerry made the trip from Springfield to join us.  We sure have a lot of laughs together.

 I had to include this picture because it makes me smile.  Craig reading his book, with his pen (he always has a pen) with Copper on his lap.

 Faith works at a bakery these days and brought these cookies for Jay.

 I love this picture.  I snapped it really quick just last night.  As usual these two were joking around with one another.

 Here's me reading my letter I wrote to Jay.  I did get some laughs out of him and a hug at the end.

We have a driver

Jay drove Nick to school on Jan. 17.  I couldn't believe it.  I was in my office, working, at 7:45 a.m.  Every morning at 7:45 for years I was always en route to or from school.  I was happily sipping my coffee when I get the text from above from Nick.  He forgot his lunch, could I bring it to him later?  Seriously!  My first day of not having to drive to school, really!  I give my boys one "free pass" per school year and I knew Nick's routine was thrown off that morning I so did deliver his lunch to him.  I just had to laugh about it.  It's so typical.  

 And here's the driver on his birthday.  Jay wanted to go to Roanoke to get his license.  He insisted it would be faster than driving into Bloomington.  He may have been right, but all I knew was it took 40 minutes one way to get to Roanoke driving on snowy, country roads.  And the state workers in Roanoke were just as cranky as the state workers in Bloomington.  However, the mission did get accomplished.

I didn't include a picture of Jay's truck cake in my other post.  I was really pleased with how it turned out.  It took me all of 2 seconds to get use to Jay driving.  Of course I have worry, but technology has helped some of that worry with apps that track your children.  Hee, Hee.  And the rest of my worry I'm giving to God.

Happy 16th Birthday, Jay

On Sunday we celebrated Jay's birthday with family.  Today is filled with getting his driver's license and playing a basketball game out of town tonight.  We did all of our celebrating on Sunday and getting his license on his actual birthday is celebration enough for Jay.  I wrote this for Jay and read it out loud to him and our family on Sunday night.

In honor of your 16th Birthday

Jay, just in case your dad and I don't mention it enough, you were a challenging baby and toddler.  You were colicky and cried a lot.  Aunt Mimi can remember nights that she would come over to give dad and I a break and by the time we got home she was sweating profusely from bouncing you on the bed.  Thankfully God blessed you with being adorable so we were able to look past the crying.  We really didn't know any different.  You were the first grandchild and Nana would say you were a whole lot like your momma in that regard.  She would also say of all her grandchildren you were the busiest.  She remembers literally running through the "Wheels of Time" museum when you were 6.  That's what you did, you ran.  Fast forward into toddlerhood.  Every line I drew, you crossed it.  Your dad always said you were angry until you learned how to open the refrigerator door and demand juice.  

Since you are my firstborn, there are a few things I've learned from you.  I've learned how to be more patient,  I've learned more about selflessness, and I've learned that I can try to do my best with you but I still have epic failures, like your first day of detassling, "Is it hot out there, Jay?"  And who can forget my rootbeer chicken fiasco.  I won't even go into all my cooking failures.  I hope that as you grow up you'll look past many of my short comings, after all the two of us really are "good enough" people.  I hope one day you'll say, "Mom really tried, she loved God, she loved me and Nick, and she loved dad.  Good enough."  I've also been exposed to some different vocabulary from you.  I've learned that anything cool is a badger.  Who knew?  I've learned that using the words of Jesus himself is quite clever, especially when one is trying to get out of doing something.  When I've asked you to set the table I've been met with, "Woman tis not my hour."  And I've learned that many of our Siebert family stories get placed in your "cool story jar."  I've learned that I finally have someone in this house who understands just how abnormal dad really is and yet we still love him.  I mean who else can figure the physics of time like dad?  "No that's not a short cut, Nick, and here's why."  As a family we're then taken into a  lesson of physics and time, at which point you once again pull out your cool story jar.  I've learned that you and your brother are more similar than what either of you care to recognize or acknowledge.  I like to think the 2 of you will be able to build a bridge in your relationship as you grow into adulthood, but that is something I've put in God's hands, which leads me into my prayer for you. 

Jay, my prayer for you on your 16th birthday is for God's protection of you.  I pray God gives you the confidence to know who you are and what you stand for.  I pray that your identity is in Christ and I pray He places godly friends in your life as He has so graciously done for your dad and I.  I pray one day you find a spouse who loves Jesus and adores you like I have adored your dad - even during his physics lessons.  So have fun and enjoy this new adventure, just be careful, please.  

Love you, Jay.  Mom

Busy 101

 I am thankful I am healthy.  I am thankful for my job, and I am thankful for the health of my family and the work Mike has been given.  That being said, I am tired and a wee bit overwhelmed.  Perhaps if I look over my blog posts from previous years I might find I feel this way around this time of year, or maybe it's just because I'm getting older and I know that very soon I will have some relief since Jay will be turning 16 and will be able to take over some of the driving.  Who knows.  I just know that lately I'm felt worn out.  I'm fairly faithful in my blogging but notice I haven't blogged since December.  That is proof of how busy we've been.  But enough complaining.  I thought I'd post some pictures of what we've been up to lately.  Nick desperately wanted to have some friends over during break.  I might have picked the coldest day over break to have boys over.  Perhaps not my best move.  To top it off I took them out for ice cream on that very cold day.  The boys came back to our house to play ping pong.  Again, I was tired and wasn't in the best frame of mind to have kids over, but I was able to fulfill my promise to Nick and he was happy so mission accomplished.

 This was the day I was doing a happy dance.  It was the first day back to school after Christmas break.  Hallejah!

 This picture is really disgraceful of Jay and I (notice Nick's smile in the back, however), but I had to post it.  Jay was less than thrilled about the picture, as you can see, but I didn't care.  I had to document the moment.  I drove the boys to school on Friday for what would be the official last day of me driving them to school.  While I know there will still be days here and there that I will drive them to school, it was really the last day before Jay gets his license.  Monday is MLK day and Tuesday is his birthday.  Notice my smile?  I was feeling guilty about being so excited about Jay getting his license because in no way does my excitement mean I am not worried about him driving.  I'm praying for God's protection over Jay daily and will continue to do so.  Whether I was depressed or excited about him driving, the worry would still be there.

 This picture really speaks to what Mike and I and the boys have lived and breathed lately - basketball.  Nick had a tournament this weekend which was horrific.  They lost both games by 30 points. Jay had a game on Friday night.  Jay is not getting the playing time this year and it's frustrating to him, but we keep encouraging him to stay with it.  I got to thinking the other day that next January may look entirely different from any other January we've seen in 6 years as both of my boys may decide not to play bball next year.  All I've known in January is basketball.

 For the first time in a very long time we went out for dinner together as a family.  As usual we decided to go last minute.  Thankfully Nick's dinner time appetite never disappoints.  He ate an entire 16 oz prime rib.  I'm not even appalled anymore, but our waitress was.  Mike, Jay and I had finished our meal and waited another 20 minutes so Nick could finish every last morsel on his plate.  It's ridiculous, but somewhat amusing.

After dinner we made a quick stop at Ausili's. As I go into this week I am excited for Jay turning 16.  He's beyond ready as he's the last of his core group of friends to turn 16.  I'll post later this week about Jay's bday festivities.