The Bench

Basketball season is in full swing and both my boys are bench warmers.  Here's the good, the bad and the ugly.  The good is Jay has been playing basketball for 8 years.  He likes his coach and he truly loves the game of basketball.  He stuck with it when nearly everyone else didn't.  In fact there are only three juniors left still playing (including Jay).  Jay's group of boys have taken some hits through the years with basketball and many decided it wasn't worth it.  Jay made the choice that it was worth it but it's come at a cost and this is the bad.  The bad is he rarely plays and the ugly is he only plays if his team is going to lose and that's after he has watched boys younger than him play the entire game.  Now I get you play the boys with the most skill but this is not being written by a level minded man, it's being written by a heartfelt mother and any mother who has witnessed her child sit on the bench game after game knows exactly what I'm talking about.
The good with Nick is he is driven and like Jay, loves the game.  What his coach doesn't see is many nights after practice, in the freezing cold, Nick puts his hat on, grabs his ball and heads outside to shoot hoops.  On weekends he will shoot for hours.  Last week he played for so long on the hard concrete that he injured his ankle.  Like Jay, Nick only plays for a few minutes and only if his team is losing.  One could argue that year after year of enduring this builds character in the boys and while there may be some truth in that, at the end of each game I want to take the character building exercise and shove it up someone's you know what.  Just sayin!

Thanksgiving weekend

 We had a lot to be thankful for this year.  Mom's recovery has been amazing.  It is true her right arm is slow and her speech continues to frustrate her, but she continues to get better each month that goes by.  It has been a joy to see her get back to doing things she did pre-stroke.  We had a late dinner on Thanksgiving with Kim and her family and John and Linda.  We played games, laughed and ate.  We ate a lot!  Imagine that?

                                     Lauren entertained us with her flute.

                   Mike fried a turkey again this year and it did not disappoint.

The weather was nice on Thanksgiving so  Jay, Nick and Luke enjoyed playing together.

                                        Too much Thanksgiving for these dogs!.

 On Saturday we headed to Springfield for Jocelyn's first birthday party.

Mike fixed Michelle's piano.  He was a good sport because he was not thrilled to be doing the work in the middle of a birthday party.  I included this picture because two girls wanted to come up and chat with Mike while he was working.  Several people were interested in what he was doing.  Ha.  As always he did great work.
Another activity that consumed much of our time this weekend was Jay's basketball tournament.  It started on Wednesday night and went through Saturday night.  His team won one game and we got to see Jay play in two of the three games.  Between Jay and Nick, their basketball season has a total of 60 games.  Can you say busy?  I'll have some serious bleacher butt come March!  Ugh.

Always good

It's the week of Thanksgiving!  Thanksgiving weekend is my favorite holiday/weekend.  We have a lot to be thankful for.  My mom is doing really good.  I feel like the three of us turned a corner this month.  Things have felt more normal.  Mom has done several things this month that she did pre-stroke.  She's lunched with friends, went shopping with Kim and I, and went to a Beatles concert - yep, a Beatles concert.  She even stayed out until 10:30!  Ha.  She is truly an inspiration and each month that goes by I am beyond thankful to our loving God who gave mom, Kim and I a second chance.  For several months Kim and I were afraid to exhale, our fears giving in to the ways of the world and what might happen next.  Even after everything that has happened the last 3 years I still find it hard to fully trust God, even though I know full well God is good, and his timing is perfect.  I'm reading Lysa Terkeurst new book, "It Isn't Supposed To Be This Way," and boy am I learning!  I'm a work in progress.  No one knows or understands my weaknesses better than God.  Lysa describes walking a tightrope in her book.  I've walked a lot of tightropes and never once has God let me fall - not once.  During each situation He is faithful.  Yes, I get frustrated because my humanly self gets discouraged with time frames.  My focus is on how long my suffering is taking and when will it ever end.  When I finally make it to the end of that tightrope I am better, I am stronger and there is good, always good.

This man

This man is the hardest worker I have ever, hands down, ever met.  I've known this to be true for 24 years I've been with Mike.  He will be 46 next month and he doesn't slow down.  I know there are times he wishes and longs for things to just be easier, less physically demanding.  He literally works from sun up to sun set and I never hear him complain - ever.  I occasionally hear frustration in his voice, but he never complains.  Last week we finally got a concrete apron for our driveway for the boys to play basketball on. Mike ordered his boys a very nice basketball hoop, compliments of their nana.  Mike never seems to get "easy jobs."  The hoop arrived two days ago and Mike's didn't have anything scheduled for Cornerstone so he has spent all day and evening getting this hoop ready which has required him to rent an auger, pick the auger up, use the auger to dig a 4 foot hole, which only got the job done halfway.  When Mike drove all the back to Bloomington to return the rented auger he came home to start manually digging a hole through all the clay, yes clay!  When he got the hole big enough he had to physically get into the hole and dig out the gravel by hand at the bottom (see picture above).  It's November in Central Illinois, it's cold and wet.  Yesterday afternoon Mike took a 30 minute break and I rubbed him down with icy hot, but after that he was back at it, until dusk and rained stopped him.  Today he picked up and unloaded 30 bags of 80 lbs concrete bags.  Normally the boys help him but he got it done today while they were in school.  This man never ceases to amaze me.  He is relentless in his love for his family.  Life hasn't been an easy road for him, but I have no doubt that one day when he stands before God, Mike will hear the words, "Well done good and faithful servant, you used all the talents and abilities I gave you, well done."

One season ends, another one begins

 Nick finished his football season yesterday. Overall his team had a good season.  Nick played mostly defense but on occasion he was QB.  His favorite position is running back, which sadly he didn't get to play.  He tried out for basketball about 2 weeks ago and made the team.  For 2 weeks he's had double practices.  This week he'll just have basketball, which will be nice. A funny thing about this picture is Jay and Nick have the same stand, hands on hips.  During each of their times playing football I could look for my boys on the side lines and know it was them because their hands would be placed on their hips.  I frantically searched for a picture of Jay (standing like Nick) but couldn't find it.

 Jay went with Mike and I to Nick's last game yesterday and was quite entertaining.  He loves to bug his dad!

 The boys take private basketball lessons.  I went with them the other day and was impressed with what I saw.  Just this week we got a concrete driveway.  The boys will be able to set up a hoop and play basketball at home, something they are really excited about.

Football season is ended, but basketball is about to begin!  I always say I have a love/hate relationship with sports, but as the boys get older I have more of a love relationship.  They need the structure and activity and I know one day when this is all over, I will miss it!

One day at a time

It's been a hard 3 months.  Heck, it's been a hard year.  On Oct. 9 we crossed the 3 month finish line for mom's stroke and Oct. 15 we crossed the 6 month mark of my dad's death.  What a year!  Full discloser, lately I've wondered where God is in all this.  I wonder how and why this has happened to our family, not once but twice.  Why did my mom have this stroke and on top of that why does she have diabetes?  Yes, I know we can go through the medical reasons for the stroke and diabetes, but I'm questioning the spiritual reasons.  Everyday I remind myself God is in control and I know He loves all of us, beyond any of our comprehension, but still I struggle.  This week Kim and I took mom to the stroke doctor.  He went over mom's MRI and CT scans.  He showed us the "good" side of her brain which has a prominent vein for blood to pass through, then he showed us the "bad" side of her brain.  The vein was barely visible.  The damage to her brain was staring us right in the face.  The facts are mom is not a surgical candidate, she is at a very high risk for another stroke, they are hoping to reduce mom's risk for another stroke with medication management.  None of the news was great, but it wasn't terrible either.  Her doctor was amazed that mom lives independently.  He said most people who have the kind of stroke mom did aren't as recovered as she is.  I do remind myself often the woman has had 2 strokes in 3 months time and battles diabetes on top of it.  She's pretty much super woman if you ask me.  It's also a good reminder that God has not forgotten us.  Mom may not be restored to the place where she or us would like her to be, but God has granted her more time on this earth and yes it may look different but it's not any less meaningful.  The bottom line is hope remains and no one has more faith and hope than mom.  She very proudly states that there will not be any more strokes and in 2 years time (mom loves her time lines, something that strokes don't always adhere to but she tries) she'll be as good as new.  I have prayed, boy have I prayed that God can give me the kind of faith my mom has and I've begged Him to honor my mom's confident declaration.   Even if mom only recovers a wee bit more, even if her speech is always a little broken and even if her right arm doesn't get to the point in assisting with daily living, I pray she has no more strokes.

Reunited

 This weekend the boys and I went to TX to visit Mike, Jenny and Curt!  It did my heart well to see them and spend time with them.  It's been such a tough couple of months for all of us.  I'm very proud of all of them.  It has not been easy.  On a positive note the direct flight from Bloomington is affordable and easy!  The boys and I took an early flight on Saturday morning and took an afternoon flight today from Dallas.

                                           Mike and Nick had to talk politics, of course!

 On Sunday we went to a bbq place called Hutchin's.  Sieb, Mike and Jay had gone to this bbq place in July and Sieb could not stop talking about it.  It did not disappoint.

 These two!  This was supposed to be a trip for Nick and I but Jay came along because Curt really needed to see his good buddy, Jay.  It made me so happy to hear the two of them laughing and hanging out together.

Nick enjoyed the pool!  We sure loved our time with the Ausili's.  It's been an adjustment for all of us but I'm so thankful the Lord gave us each other.  Our friendship has been on going for 40 years.  Jenny and I have been friends for 25 years and we raised our kids as siblings.  Our friendship is a rare gift and distance won't change that.  It only makes the time we do spend together more precious.  Until next time!