Happy 9th Birthday, Lauren

 My niece, Lauren, turns 9 on Dec. 3.  Kim had a nice dinner for her.  We celebrated with lots of laughs.  The picture above is of Lauren with her owl I gave her. 

 My mom told Luke to open his eyes for a picture and this is what we got in return.  This boy!

                                  I like to refer to this picture as "The Three Stooges." 

Small business blessings

I have a lot to write about today, but don't worry, I won't put it all into one blog.  Ha!  When we hit the one year mark of Mike's job loss I made a commitment to myself, my mom and our friends I would stop talking about it.  The "It" being the job loss, the start up a new business and the frustrations that go along with it.  I monopolized so many conversations over the past year.  There comes a time when you just have to put your big girl pants on and move forward.  And moving forward is exactly what we're all trying to do.  I don't know how the business will be doing in a year or two years from now.  We have put all our trust in God's plan.  So even though I promised I would stop talking and blogging about the business, it's a still a journey we're on and it's a pretty significant time in our life.  With that being said, there are still many obstacles that lay in front of us and I have no idea if we'll ever reach a point when we stop pinching every penny but as with all things, there are blessings.  Mike is fairly quiet about his interactions with his customers (although it's evident he enjoys the interactions).  It's the feedback I get from his customers that is overwhelming.  The common theme I hear is Mike is so easy to talk to, he's so calm and full of knowledge and his skill level is top notch.  One other common theme is his eye for detail and design.  Mike will complete a simple handy man job for someone and often those simple jobs lead into bigger jobs because people immediately recognize Mike's talent.  Mike has always been easy to talk to and full of ideas but this was a man who worked by himself in a warehouse for 15 years.  He was often "too busy" to attend many of the department meetings.  There were only a handful of co-workers Mike associated with.  Although I see much of the same Mike, there are new parts of Mike that are so much sweeter and I know those new parts are from the glory of God.  Every wall that he built around himself crumbled.  He works and interacts with people almost daily now, and cares about those interactions.  Those interactions have been a blessing to him and for me to be a witness to.   So, even though many challenges remain (have I mentioned we need a bigger shop? UGH!!) and the road we are traveling on is quite foggy, God does provide us with rays of light that shine through that fog, reminding us that through the fog, the light does shine through.   

Bittersweet

Something kind of extraordinary happened yesterday.  Jay put our Christmas tree up.  I know what you're thinking, big deal, and normally I'd think the same thing.  However, our tree is a monster to put up.  It's 12 feet high and the heaviest piece is close to the top so somehow you have to balance yourself while using all your muscles to get the tree together.  It is no easy task.  Mike puts the tree up every year but this year he's working like a maniac.  I thought it would be nice if we tried to save Mike the horrendous job of putting the tree up.  It was a risky move on our part because usually when we try to "help" Mike with a job, it back fires and creates more work for him (like the time Nick and I were helping him sand shiplap and we knocked his entire table saw over).  More times than not, we break or destroy something in the process.  Jay and I were the only ones home yesterday and when I asked him if he thought we could do it, he was on it!  Before I knew it Jay had brought in the enormous ladder and had our tree put together in no time.  He did it flawlessly and trust me flawless is never a word I use to describe the work Jay does.  He's a "good enough" worker, like his momma.  As I watched him put the tree up I wondered how I got to this point with my son, he was turning into a man right before my eyes.  Through the years he had watched his dad put up the tree and knew exactly what he was doing.  He even knew how to fix the lights that didn't work.  He was agreeable and it warmed my heart in a bittersweet way.  One of the first ornaments I put on the tree this year was the recording of Jay saying, "Hi mommy, Hi daddy," when he was 18 months old.  I play that recording and I sigh, remembering his sweet voice and personality at that age.  As moms we watch our children grow and we experience growing pains with them.  As their body grows and they mature physically and mentally, our mom hearts expand even more.  I think there is that one moment with every mom when it hits us.  We realize our babies aren't babies anymore (my mom can relate exactly when it happened for her with me and I will always remember the Christmas tree moment with Jay), and we wonder where all the time went and that maybe, just maybe our hard work is paying off! 

Our Thanskgiving

We had such a nice Thanksgiving.  It was relaxing, the weather cooperated and the company was wonderful!  My mom played games with Nick (Nick is her game player).  Mike fried a turkey and it was delicious.  Faith brought her boyfriend, Beau and Ausili took a nap with Cole. 

Back in alignment

Mike just got back from a much deserved long weekend in TN with Ausili.  I always encourage these guy trips because Mike works hard, as does Ausili.  And selfishly I encourage these guy weekends so that later on I can take my much deserved girls weekend!  However, there is a price to be paid when Mike is gone for a long weekend - my sanity!  I speak the truth when I tell you that Mike is the glue of our family.  He keeps us all in place.  After four long days, Mike got home last night and was instantly thrown back into the reality of our life.  Nick was complaining about basketball and Mike had to keep it real for him.  Then, Jay and I were bickering back and forth (more on raising a teenage son later but let's just say Jay is no cupcake these days), at which point Mike had to sit us both down and put out that fire.  Our family just gets a wee bit out of whack when Mike is gone.  Now that he's home, were back in alignment! 

Creating Margin

Our pastor asked his congregation to create some margin in their life for the month of November.  We were asked to give something up.  I have a confession.  I've been unable to give anything up.  I have tried (oh how I have tried) to read my bible everyday but the demands being placed on me are relentless.  I'm just confessing my sin.  Remember that blog about me being punched?  That's how I've felt, especially the last 24 hours.  I've been bombarded with emails and keep in mind, I'm not even talking about work emails because Yes, I do work full time, and yes, emails and lots of them are part of my job.  I got an email about Nick's basketball which required me to put more dates in my calendar.  Another email arrived from Nick's math teacher.  Surprise, there is a test tomorrow and Nick needs to study!  Email number two arrived from Nick's English teacher asking if the kids could write notes to the student teachers on their last day (tomorrow!).  Another email arrived from Jay's basketball coach.  Forms needs to be filled out for their food choices for away games and money needs to be collected for that food and jerseys were ordered for practice.  Send more money.  I got a text yesterday about bringing refreshments to 4h tonight.  I went to make the crumb cake today and golly gee, I had no eggs.  I made a quick trip the nearest town and got some eggs and picked up a prescription while I was there.  Might as well kill two birds with one stone.  I made two trips to the post office.  Don't ask.  Yesterday evening encompassed a student council meeting, a basketball practice, and small group.  Nick has to fill a shoe box for another child in need for 4h tonight.  I conquered Dollar General.  Nick is trying desperately to keep up with his homework and school requirements.  He has to memorize lines for a Christmas play and memorize lines for a puppet show for student council.  If this blogs seems like it's all over the place, that's because I'm all over the place.  Mike is so busy at work it makes my head spin.  We are like two strangers passing each other late in the evening, attempting to give each other a weak high five, as if to say, we suck and we know it!  Last night my mom kindly asked me (because she knows how busy it's been for me) if I wanted to come over while Jay was at small group and she would help me plan Thanksgiving dinner.  I appreciated the offer but my brain is hardly functioning at this point, let alone after 7 pm!  I don't write this blog for any sympathy.  I am not alone in my insanity.  At this point I'd settle for a quiet evening, a hot bath with a stiff drink!  Instead, I'm off to a 4h meeting!  Forgive me, Jesus. 

I was there, I saw it, and my heart felt it

It was today, one year ago, that Mike lost his job.  I thought then that a job loss would be our only test.  I was wrong.  We would face many head on collisions in the months to follow.  For weeks I've known I wanted to write something special about today but I was clueless what specifically I wanted to write about.  I didn't want it to be sappy, and I didn't want to regurgitate what I've already written about.  Time has a way of mending most wounds, and just recently our lives have somewhat settled down, or at least I feel like the roller coaster has slowed down.  Mike is steadily working, and we are cautiously optimistic.  My grandparents are put to rest, and rejoicing with our Heavenly Father.  Every day I get more pep in my step from my ankle injury, and slowly I'm starting to get my breath back (literally) from a challenging year, and of course the damage from my pulmonary embolism.  I am relieved to see this past year from my rear view mirror.

I don't get many messages from God, but He sure spoke to me this past year.  In Feb, I received one very clear message during church.  It was the name God placed on my heart to name Mike's business.  That clear message has sustained me through the twists and turns of starting your own business.  The second time wasn't so much a message but a very clear idea for this blog.  Our pastor was preaching on the book of John.  Most of us know John was a direct witness to Jesus' teachings, and the miracles he performed.  John was Jesus' friend.  When describing John, our pastor said, "John was there, he was a witness.  He saw the miracles with his own eyes."  There was my idea!  After all, God had transformed my family and we were certainly direct witnesses to the transformation.  I'm told by many people that their own faith was strengthened by watching us.  I'm humbled by that. 

If I were to name every blessing (and they are bountiful) I'm afraid I'd be regurgitating what I've already written about, which is what I wanted to avoid.  Instead I wanted to write through the lenses of a healing heart (notice how I didn't say healed?).  When I think about all the unknowns this past year, I wish I could have seen what Nov. 11, 2016 (today) looked like, but clearly that's not how it works.  God desires us to put all our trust in Him.  There are still so many unknowns with Mike's business, and I wish I could see what Nov. 11, 2017 looks like, but again, that's not how it works.  God has taught me to be calm, and trust in His plan for my family.  It's the biggest take away I've learned from this experience. 

Many of the conversations and experiences that took place during those first few weeks after Nov. 11, 2015 are sacred to us as a family.  I reflect often on the amazing gift God gave Jay and Nick.  At a young age they learned that God hears our prayers.  They were able to experience God's love and power through transformation and redemption.  They were there, they saw it, and their hearts felt it.  Often time is a gift, and it was given freely to Mike.  But with time, experiences can fade from your memory, hearts heal, and lives go on.  I can already see that taking place within my own family.  It's a natural progression, and it's how we heal.  My prayer for Jay and Nick is that in their darkest hour (and they will have one) they will have hope, and their hearts will be reminded of the experience that shaped their dad and their family.  I pray they will be encouraged from the words that were spoken between the four of us that chilly day in November, that through it all, God's love for us and each other is what's important.  The four of us are on our own journey that is personal to each of us.  I believe that Mike's is probably the most personal, and his journey is his and his alone.  As a life-long Christian, my journey looks different than his.  But one thing the four of us can say without hesitation is we were there, we saw it, our hearts felt it. 

Our historic election

When I started my blog oh so many years ago, I wanted it to serve as nothing more than a diary to my family.  I don't have blog followers.  In fact my only faithful blog follower is my dear mother (God bless you, mom).  I simply wanted our experiences as a family to be well documented so they wouldn't be forgotten.  So today I don't blog about our historic election to make a political statement.  I blog about it so I can remember how historic it actually was and so that my boys don't forget it.   Despite all odds and predictions, a man who has never served in a political office, Donald Trump, was elected President in the wee hours of Nov. 9, 2016.  While it was true, I wasn't happy with either candidate (Hillary Clinton or Trump), I felt it was imperative to make a decision and vote.  I joked that after I voted I would keep my barf bag handy as I walked out of the polling station. I was fairly confident Clinton would win the election.  When I woke up the wee hours of Nov. 9 I was in complete shock to learn Donald Trump had won.  How did that happen?  In my opinion one reason this election was so unique was it under estimated the power of the American people.  And I have never in my life witnessed such a divisiveness in our country and it saddens me greatly.  I imagine there was a lot of conflict when Lincoln was elected and Lincoln was one of our greatest Presidents.  Despite what I think about Trump, my prayer now is that he will be a moral compass for our country.   

Grandparents Day

My mom went to Jay's grandparents day last week.  My mom got someone to take this picture of them and she said it was her goal not to embarrass him.  Mission accomplished!  Jay enjoyed having his nana come and what a sweet picture that was captured from the morning.  Love it.

Go Cubs Go

My dad was and is a huge Cubs fan.  I was raised watching the Cubbies on WGN on Saturday afternoons.  My parents took me to Wrigley Field for ball games when I was a kid.  As I've grown into adulthood, my family isn't as into sports as my dad was.  Sure, the boys play sports and Mike and I enjoy watching them but as far as professional sports and teams go, let's just say we watch when it becomes a really big deal, like it did on Nov. 2.  The Cubs not only made it to the World Series but they won the World Series in what will go down in history as one of the most remarkable come backs!  First the Cubs came back from losing 3 games, then during that final game 7, the Indians tied the game up (in what inning I can't remember) and then rain held off the game for awhile.  It was a real nail biter kind of a game.  Would the Cubbies actually pull it off?  Finally, by 10:00, my blood pressure couldn't take it anymore.  I went to bed but I woke up at 11:00 to check my phone thinking surely the game had ended.  It hadn't!  I couldn't believe it.  It felt like the never ending game 7.  Finally at 11:50 p.m. on Nov. 2 I was jolted out of my sleep by firecrackers (never mind that I thought we were under attack right in my back yard).  Our neighbors behind us let of the most brilliant fireworks display to celebrate an event that hadn't happened in 108 years, The Chicago Cubs won the World Series!  As I always say, I have a love/hate relationship with sports but these past few days it's been nothing but love.  What a joy it's been to see the country so excited and what a welcome diversion it's been from what will be a historical election (next week).