It was today, one year ago, that Mike lost his job. I thought then that a job loss would be our only test. I was wrong. We would face many head on collisions in the months to follow. For weeks I've known I wanted to write something special about today but I was clueless what specifically I wanted to write about. I didn't want it to be sappy, and I didn't want to regurgitate what I've already written about. Time has a way of mending most wounds, and just recently our lives have somewhat settled down, or at least I feel like the roller coaster has slowed down. Mike is steadily working, and we are cautiously optimistic. My grandparents are put to rest, and rejoicing with our Heavenly Father. Every day I get more pep in my step from my ankle injury, and slowly I'm starting to get my breath back (literally) from a challenging year, and of course the damage from my pulmonary embolism. I am relieved to see this past year from my rear view mirror.
I don't get many messages from God, but He sure spoke to me this past year. In Feb, I received one very clear message during church. It was the name God placed on my heart to name Mike's business. That clear message has sustained me through the twists and turns of starting your own business. The second time wasn't so much a message but a very clear idea for this blog. Our pastor was preaching on the book of John. Most of us know John was a direct witness to Jesus' teachings, and the miracles he performed. John was Jesus' friend. When describing John, our pastor said, "John was there, he was a witness. He saw the miracles with his own eyes." There was my idea! After all, God had transformed my family and we were certainly direct witnesses to the transformation. I'm told by many people that their own faith was strengthened by watching us. I'm humbled by that.
If I were to name every blessing (and they are bountiful) I'm afraid I'd be regurgitating what I've already written about, which is what I wanted to avoid. Instead I wanted to write through the lenses of a healing heart (notice how I didn't say healed?). When I think about all the unknowns this past year, I wish I could have seen what Nov. 11, 2016 (today) looked like, but clearly that's not how it works. God desires us to put all our trust in Him. There are still so many unknowns with Mike's business, and I wish I could see what Nov. 11, 2017 looks like, but again, that's not how it works. God has taught me to be calm, and trust in His plan for my family. It's the biggest take away I've learned from this experience.
Many of the conversations and experiences that took place during those first few weeks after Nov. 11, 2015 are sacred to us as a family. I reflect often on the amazing gift God gave Jay and Nick. At a young age they learned that God hears our prayers. They were able to experience God's love and power through transformation and redemption. They were there, they saw it, and their hearts felt it. Often time is a gift, and it was given freely to Mike. But with time, experiences can fade from your memory, hearts heal, and lives go on. I can already see that taking place within my own family. It's a natural progression, and it's how we heal. My prayer for Jay and Nick is that in their darkest hour (and they will have one) they will have hope, and their hearts will be reminded of the experience that shaped their dad and their family. I pray they will be encouraged from the words that were spoken between the four of us that chilly day in November, that through it all, God's love for us and each other is what's important. The four of us are on our own journey that is personal to each of us. I believe that Mike's is probably the most personal, and his journey is his and his alone. As a life-long Christian, my journey looks different than his. But one thing the four of us can say without hesitation is we were there, we saw it, our hearts felt it.
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