New Years Eve

Here it is, Dec. 31.  Tomorrow people will begin a new year.  Resolutions will be made, and broken.  A new year offers a certain "start fresh" attitude.  2016 was my most challenging year in my adult life and I was incredibly taken care of.  It's somewhat bittersweet to see 2016 end.  I grew in my faith, I witnessed Mike start up his own business, something people have encouraged him to do for years.  When we were at our weakest was when we were most able to see God at work.  I know God is at work in our lives all the time but it was through my pain and suffering that I felt closest to Him.  There is not a day that goes by that I am not in awe of how He works in my life.  This year new friendships were formed and our old friendships were solidified.  I don't have any earth shattering revelations for 2017.  I simply want to love better, pray often and serve more.  Who knows what that looks like and what doors it will open but in case you haven't been reading my blogs (ha), I am still walking in a fog and for now, that's just the way I like it.  I hang on to the advice my grandpa gave me last December, "Trust the Lord, He will lead the way for you." Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

 What a special Christmas it was this year.  I got Mike an ornament this year with his business logo on it.  Last Christmas running his own business was not even on our radar.  It was just a peaceful Christmas filled with family, food and laugher.  I love the above picture of my mom with her grands.  Jay is 14 (but almost 15).  Nick is 10.  Lauren is 9 and Luke is 5. 

 My sister and I.  Everyone was healthy this year except for Kim.  She had a cold but you certainly can't tell from these pictures. 

 After we opened gifts on Christmas Eve the kids played ping pong.  It was a major hit with Luke. 

                            Mom and Jay.  Jay literally towers over his nana these days. 

 My boys in front of our tree on Christmas day.  I can't believe how much time flies.  I so love these Christmas' of peace and calm.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it when the boys were little but things seem to run a little smoother now that they are older.  I even put the presents out under the tree before Christmas (my first year doing this). 

 Jay got his first tool chest with tools to go in it.  Nick got spoiled too and got a ton of problem solving games and activities.  In fact as I blog tonight he's been putting together a mechanic robot that you have to hook up to a computer in order to "program" it.  Crazy!  Nick was blessed with his dad's problem solving mind. 

 I loved watching Lauren this year.  She loved all her gifts and her excitement was infectious. 

                                         Jay and his dog, Copper, in front of the fire. 

 Mike made his famous stuffed fried potato balls and prime rib on Christmas day.  As usual the food was amazing. 

I made peanut butter fudge and bought oatmeal cookies in memory of my grandparents this year.  They were missed but we can all smile remembering the memories they left us with.  Merry Christmas! 

A week full of memories

This was Nick's last Christmas program at school.  It was bittersweet for my mom and I.  I have enjoyed the Christmas program at North since Jay was in kindergarten.  This year Nick had a speaking part.  He was Dave from "Alvin and the Chipmunks."  He did a great job! 

 I thought about naming this blog, "A Hodge Podge of Pictures" but decided not to because in reality this week has been filled with memories, good ones!  Here it is Dec. 23 and my heart is so full.  I have spent so much time this week reflecting on God's gift of his son and God's goodness in my own life.  My life looks so different than it did a year ago.  For the most part Mike spent this week at home.  He ran errands for the business and worked on some projects for work.  In past years I've practically had to beg Mike to show up at my mom's house on Christmas Eve at noon.  He would work until the bitter end and never took time off around the holidays.  It has been nice to see him relax a bit.  His schedule even allowed him to attend Nick's Christmas program at school (see above).  The picture above is from our Christmas party last week.  I thought it was a cute picture of Mike and our friend, Neal. 

Nick and I made a birthday cake for Jesus.  It was quite delicious and we had it devoured within a few days!  Happy Birthday, Jesus! 

Laura and I organized our annual Socks for Seniors event.  We think this was our 5th or 6th year doing it.  This year we did not do it at my dad's nursing home.  Last year it was very clear that the event annoyed my dad and this year I decided it was best if we went to another nursing home and the change of "scenery" was a good thing. 

                                  I told Laura I could not take her seriously in this sweater! 

Sweet friends.  I adore this picture.  Every year we do this event our kids love it.  I am right on the cusp of Nick no longer finding this event enjoyable so this year was really special to me (even though sadly we didn't do it at my dad's nursing home). 

Nick in his Cornerstone gear.  Just this morning Nick and Mike took off together to hit some antique stores (one of Nick's favorite things to do).  Mike has turned into a "picker."  During his slow time he looks for antiques, wood and other items for projects.  He tends to take his side kick, Nick. 

Kim and I took the kids to visit my dad this morning.  Luke had us all in laughter and that boy adores his older cousin!  When Jay and Luke are together you can usually find Jay carrying him around like a sack of potatoes.  Ha! 

Evolution

We are hunkered down, spending a lot of time at home because the weather has been bad!  Lots of cold and lots of ice.  The other night I got out my blog books to reminisce.  As a parent you forget the daily grind of being parent but I'm so glad I started this blog seven years ago.  It has proven to be a wonderful testament to my family and what makes us tick.  My boys were 3 and 7 when I started the blog and wow have we evolved.  When I started reading my old blog posts I was instantly taken back to some scenes that I'd rather forget (ha) and many more scenes that warm my heart.  Many of my stories I can still close my eyes and remember how I felt during those moments.  Mostly I can remember how exhausting it was, and I don't mean that as negative.  I mean really, show me a parent who works full time with two children who isn't overwhelmed and exhausted.  During their younger years I remember being consumed by my kids, worrying about them and questioning myself at every turn. Sadly I let guilt play a major role in my parenting.  It didn't help the boys and it most certainly didn't help me.  One of the gifts God gave me this past year was releasing me from that guilt.  Sure guilt still creeps his ugly head every now and then but it was nothing like it use to be.  Thank you, Jesus!  These days I practically have to pinch myself that I'm where I am, parenting wise.  I am parenting a high schooler.  I mean really, it's mind boggling if I let myself think about it for too long. I'm having conversations with Jay where I'm looking up to him instead of down.  When did he get that tall anyway?  And next year my sweet Nick will be in middle school.  The elementary school days will be over. Truly, it's bittersweet.  I have no desire to go back in time and re-live those early years of parenting.  Sure I have some regrets, just as I'll have regrets now but overall I'm happy with the decisions I made and how my boys have turned out, thus far.  If I had daughters, however, I would tell them to never ever let guilt guide their decisions (that was a big one with me) and to not worry so much.  We all evolve and I like to think I've gotten better with age.  Perhaps I will have figured it all out just about the time my boys are ready to leave the nest.   Just the other night the evolution of my family hit me like a ton of bricks.  Mike and I went had Christmas plans with friends two Friday nights in a row, and even snuck out one week night to celebrate Jenny's birthday.  This would have been unheard of even as little as a year ago, as I would not have been comfortable leaving the boys alone too often.  But this year, I left the boys home to fend for themselves, not once but several times (a small miracle).  I always make sure there is plenty of junk food in the house and I pay Jay a very modest fee as a motivator to make sure there are no injuries when I come home.  Both Friday nights were great.  I can't believe Mike and I are at the point where we could take two Friday nights as a "date" night.  The last Friday night we even stayed out late (crazy, I know).  We came home at midnight to find both boys soundly sleeping in their beds.  I was waiting for the smoke alarm to go off or one boy to pop out of bed with a broken bone but it never happened.  I can only assume that whatever happened before they went to bed was uneventful since we came home to find two sleeping peaceful boys.  Now that's evolution! 

It's Mid-December Already!!!

Once again it's mid-December and I find I am way behind in everything I need to get done, but I'm giving myself a bit of a break.  I told my mom this week that I had opened the door a little too wide and the devil came right in and took over, putting negative thoughts and emotions in my path.  Those negative thoughts weigh me down and don't help anyone, least of all me or my family.  I'm looking forward to Christmas this year, really as I am every year, but this year is different.  I am wrapping up a year that started with a devastating job loss, a start up of a new business, very challenging boys (but good ones), the loss of my dear grandparents, my ankle fracture, blood clot and pulmonary embolism.  It's been a year!  Today I went to the doctor and I'm happy to report my blood clot has dissolved.  I have permanent damage to my valves in my leg so I'll always have some swelling but that's okay.  I've learned that a little swelling in your leg isn't that big of a deal.