Raising my teenager

I think God created teenagers to test us, to see how much patience we, as parents, really have.  I like to think that if I'm successful at raising my teenage boys my crown in heaven might be a wee bit bigger.  Okay, that's a long shot and I admit it's silly.  These days I'm just trying to live day by day.  It feels like Jay is at a cross roads.  He's certainly not a man, but yet he's not a boy either.  But how I miss that little boy.  When I told Jay the other night how much I missed him (when he was little) his quick response was, "Well maybe you shouldn't make me do all these dumb chores."  Which leads me to what is going on in our house these days.  Track season has begun and despite being approached by the track coach Jay very firmly decided he did not want to run track - even though he oozes with potential and was promised he would not have to run distance.  Instead he wants to find a job.  We encouraged him to run track and then detassle this summer, while also focusing on basketball.  We debated forcing him, but in the end we felt it was important that Jay feel like he was heard, and oh, we heard him alright.  It was a hard decision as Jay thrives on structure and routine but he also has proven to be a good kid.  He gets good grades and pretty much does what he's suppose to do.  We accepted Jay's decision (dismally).  To help fill the gap of not playing a sport, Jay is required to do chores every night (over and above what he's normally required to do) after school and he's required to do volunteer work.  Additionally, every Thursday he has to sit down with us and report back to us what he is doing to find a job, and once he finds a job, his "requirements" will be tweeked.  We explained to Jay that our goal is simply to help him communicate, help him develop socially, help fill his time and to be part of something (these are all things that sports provides him with).  I know Jay sees the chores and volunteer work as punishment, but that's okay, he's 15, and despite what he thinks he won't be able to make a living by driving four wheelers and fishing!   I'm finding that Jay is longing to be independent but has no clue how to do it.  Meanwhile every extra gray hair that I have these days is Jay inflicted!