A bittersweet weekend

This weekend was good, like the kind of good that makes me warm and fuzzy.  It was a rare weekend in that all four of us were home Friday night and Saturday night.  Usually at least one night of the weekend Jay is with his buddies for "guys night."  This weekend Central IL was still dealing with the effects from a tropical storm from the southern states, and the weather was rainy and chilly.  There wasn't much to do so we went out to eat as a family on Friday night and Saturday night I cooked, Mike baked cookies and we ate together around the dinner table.  Last night it had stopped raining but it was chilly.  After we ate we went out to our deck and chatted together.  I looked around the table and said a thank you prayer to God!  I'm all to familiar with the fact that things change and soon my boys will spread their wings and won't be hanging out with us on Friday and Saturday nights.  My heart still aches for Ausili's (this is the bittersweet part of the blog).  I knew that if they lived in town they would have been out last night, enjoying the deck with the new chill in the air, laughing with us and lighting our first bon fire for the season, but they are not here.  They are in TX, slowly but surely trying to adjust to their new normal.  But I digress.  My mom is doing so good too.  She is talking, walking and has some movement back in her arm.  I'm amazed at what God can do, how He takes the ashes and makes them into something beautiful.  This morning at church a woman gave her testimony about her sick son.  She said she found herself begging God for many things throughout that very dark time.  Her son recovered and she said, "If I wasn't a beggar I wouldn't have been able to look back and see God's goodness."  And I wanted to jump out of my seat and scream, YES!  In my times of desperation, and there have been so many of them the last 2.5 years I begged God for so many things: clarity, healing, protection, direction and each and every time when the clouds dissipated and the sun came through I could see God's goodness all over my story.  Some days I battle with fear, but many days I know I'm right on the edge of another miracle.  God is good, all the time.