One year

I haven't written about mom in awhile.  On Oct. 9 mom will cross her three month mark for her stroke/recovery.  How is she?  Here's the good, the bad and yes, the ugly.  The good is she is walking, and walking well.  It's slower than what she would like but she's walking and getting around.  Her speech is excellent.  Sometimes an occasional word will trip her up.  This week it's been the word numb.  Ha!  Her left hand has been numb when she wakes up and for the life of her she can't think of the word numb when she tries to tell me about it.  Sometimes it's a puzzle but after we've listened to mom long enough we are able to piece together what she is telling us.  Her right arm is a source of great frustration to her.  It has movement but very little and she is very concerned she will never get movement back in her fingers.  Moving on to the bad.  The diabetes is just bad.  The pump is annoying, but as I said to mom and Kim this week getting mom the pump was the right thing to do but it certainly was not the easy thing to do.  Mom has mastered the pump in that she can enter her carbs and blood sugar, but Kim and I change her pump every 3 to 4 days and as long as mom has the pump, this is something Kim and I will need to do for her.  We have no problem doing it, but it's another reminder to mom that she has lost some of her independence.  And now the ugly.  The ugly part is mom has felt really defeated lately and she is fixated on a one year time line.  I think it's fair to give herself a year.  She says if she's not fully recovered at the one year mark she is "checking out."  I laughed and asked her, "Mom, I don't even know what that means?"  She rolled her eyes and didn't say anything else until the next time I saw her and she said again she was giving herself one year or else!  Kim and I encourage her a lot.  The fat lady hasn't sung yet!  But I'm also a realist.  I've told her that if this is as good as she gets, that is okay and I know in time it's something she will come to terms with.  It's accepting what has happened that is incredibly challenging for her right now.  The bottom line is this.  God restored her.  It may not be to her satisfaction, but she is living alone in her own home.  She will soon get her drivers license back.  We are slowly understanding and trying to control the diabetes.  She is able to communicate.  She is surrounded by family and friends that love her.  Life is good.