Reflections

I'm late in posting about our NYE because we just got home from Texas.  I'll post pictures in a separate blog.  Due to my poor choice in picking a good book, I had time on our flight to TX to reflect on 2018.  As I gazed about the plane cabin I saw my family scattered about in the plane, as I have learned that booking economy is the best bang for our buck, but more than that I am once again reminded of how life can change in an instant.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd be putting someone in my family on a plane every 3 to 4 months to visit our dearest friends, who moved 12 hours away.  Although Ausili's and our family miss each other dearly I am confident this is just another story for our memory books.  The boys will remember camp fires in IL and plane rides (and lots of them to TX) where Jenny made sausage bread for breakfast and the late night dips in the pool.  I am beyond grateful all eight of us could ring in 2019 together.
As I enter 2019 I am still grieving the loss of my dad, but I was truly joyful this Christmas knowing he was in heaven.  It gave me great comfort knowing he didn't have to spend another Christmas in the nursing home.  Praise be to God for that!
I never could have foreseen my mother having not one but two strokes and I never would have imagined it would have happened four months after my dads death.  Every time I am with my mom I am grateful.  Every time I hear her voice over the phone I am thankful.  With every step she has taken in her recovery I am delighted.  It is true that this summer, Sept. and October were challenging but by November mom had gotten her groove back and was slowly starting to do things that she did before.
During every hard climb this year it might have been hard to see the blessings through all the blood, sweat and tears (many, many tears) but at years end when I had caught my breath I could easily see the blessings.  My mom is alive, biggest blessing of all.  My mom, sister and I are closer than we've ever been and without my mom's stroke, our relationship between the three of us would still be what I would like to call as "medicore."  God clearly had bigger and better plans for us.  Doesn't He always?  Kim, mom and I are very close to my Aunt Karen.  Kim and I were always close to Karen but it's been a joy to witness the beautiful relationship form between my aunt and her brother's (X) wife.  I'm thankful God provided financially for Kim and I.  Kim was able to take the year off to help care for mom and I was able to finish home projects that had been lingering for 15 years.  Clearly the financial piece for Kim is way more meaningful than mine but trust me, when you live in a house that is half finished for 15 years, it starts to grate on you a bit.  After experiencing the year I have my home brought me some joy during times of deep sorrow.  It's given me pleasure to see things finally come to fruition.  I am also thankful for the financial resources to visit Ausili's.  I don't know how often we will see them in the years to come but I knew the first year they were gone I'd have to allow myself the time and finances to see them.  It was and has been good for my mental health to visit them on a regular basis.
I do not intend on setting any new years resolution.  My only goal for this year is to simply breath, relax and laugh.