Merry Christmas

 This Christmas was different than past Christmas'.  It was the first Christmas without dad and although we hadn't spent a Christmas day with dad in several years, we remembered Christmas as a child and dad always made them special.  He was missed but I was filled with joy to know he was in heaven.  This Christmas was also spent post stroke with mom.  To say Kim and I were over-joyed to spend another Christmas with our mother would be an under statement especially considering that in July we thought she could possibly die or be in a vegetative state.  Praise God neither of those things came true.  Mom is doing better than ever and even drove to my house for Christmas!  Another change for me this year is not having the Ausili's here.  I was blessed to still have a house full of people on Christmas but their absence this year was felt.
The picture above is of the boys helping each other put together Nick's xmas present from Jay.  It was a small miracle, hence why I had to capture the moment.

                                                              Mom and her grands!

 I got mom socks with my face and Kim's face on them.  I know every time she wears them they will make her laugh.

 My sweet (and only) niece, Lauren.  I got her bunny jammies and she loved them.

 Lauren entertained us with her flute on Christmas eve.  She is quite good.

 The boys on Christmas morning.  I got them socks with their faces and their dogs on them.  They said the socks were funny but a bit creepy.

 The weather on Christmas day this year was beautiful.  It was mid-40's and sunny.  Nick and his neighbor friend were able to shoot hoops on Christmas morning without coats!

 Christmas day wouldn't be Christmas day without Sieb's prime rib and twice baked potatoes.  Sieb works so hard in the kitchen and always does a fabulous job.

 My gift for my sister.  I saw this t-shirt and knew I had to get it for her.

 As I looked at my entire family gathered around my table on Christmas I said it was one of the reasons we got the table, so that family and friends would be able to congregate around it and good food and laughs would be shared.  Mission accomplished!

What a year this has been.  Last year at this time I had no idea the monumental challenges that lay over the horizon.  I have made it to the other side first and foremost because of Jesus.  I think of this year as me being a-float in an ocean and the only thing that kept me from drowning is the life vest that Jesus provided me with.  My husband has been the rock he's always been and I'm thankful that this of all years our rock remained steady, as I've always known it to be.  My Aunt Karen has been a source of great comfort to me.  My mom has been an inspiration to me.  My sister has demonstrated to me how much stronger we are together.  My girlfriends kept me laughing and I was so blessed to be able to see and visit Jenny several times this year.  As I approach 2019 I am hopeful that my mom will continue to make gains in her recovery, that my sister will settle back into teaching in the fall, and that my children will grow stronger in their faith.  The unknown isn't so scary anymore because I've been on that tight-rope and I've made it across it.

Friends Reunited

 Jenny and Faith came home for a visit last Saturday (and left this morning, bo hoo).  Sarah and I were so excited, we were giddy, like school age children!  We made signs and greeted them at the airport.  Sarah and I whisked Jenny off for a "all about Jen" day to celebrate her upcoming birthday.  We took her shopping for her gift, we went for pedi's and ended the night at her favorite restaurant.

 On Monday night Mary joined us for dinner.  Sadly Shannon was on a trip and couldn't join us.  She was missed.  The four of us laughed over dinner.  It was just like old times.

 On Wednesday night everyone came out to celebrate Sieb and Jenny's 46th birthday.  I loved having the girls back at the house.  This was however the day when everything got "real" for Jay and his poor decision(s) he had made so there was a bit of stress in the house and Jay was not himself, but having a house full of people was certainly a nice and welcome distraction.

 Happy 46th Birthday Genny and Sieb!  I ordered Sieb cake pops and they did not disappoint.

                                                                        My loves!

 Finally on Friday night, Jenny's last night in IL, she came out to my house for our final cocktail hour of her trip.  Mom, Kim and Katie joined us and we had such a nice evening.

Although this week was stressful, it was such a blessing to have my dear friend home.  Last night Jenny parked herself in front of the fire (she loves fires in our fireplace) and I said to her if only I could have her at my fireplace every weekend, like she use to be, but for now I have the memory of her smiling in her AL sweatshirt with her drink in hand, laughing, knowing she felt right at home.  Seeing her leave last night was easier since Sieb, me and the boys are flying to see them in a week!

Grace

As if I expected anything less of 2018, it has come to an end with a bang and not the good kind of bang.  This week we had a situation with Jay, you know the child who ran me ragged when he was small but hasn't given me an ounce of trouble since middle school, yeah that child.  I won't go into detail on my blog but I will say this, the trouble could have been quite serious but because of the grace that was shown to Jay and his buddies they will get through this without a permanent stain on their record.  Instead they have had to communicate with countless people, apologize, and start community service which will spill well into 2019.  They are a good group of boys, but they are teenage boys who are just plain stupid.  I spent a lot of time in prayer this week, praying that the boys would be granted grace and that each of them would grow in their own faith from this.  Last night I reminded Jay of the grace he was given and that one day it is my hope that he can pay it forward and give grace to someone else who so desperately needs it.  I truly love these teachable lessons where kids learn about character, honesty, respect, and grace.  The lessons that hurt but don't leave a long lasting wound.  It has been a stressful week.  I've spent a week with my stomach in knots, a feeling and emotion I'm all too familiar with from this year, but it's still a week where when it's all said and done I realize once again just how weak I am without Jesus.

The I.E.P

We had Nick's I.E.P. today and it was so positive!!!  So positive that I was blown away by how good it was.  It wasn't that I thought it would be negative, but Nick has been struggling in math this year, big time!  And when he struggles, he freaks!  I joke (but not really) that he can't handle stress.  He comes home, freaks out, spends hours working with Mike and within 24-48 hours the dust has settled and all is good.  In the past math hasn't been Nick's weakest link, but this year it's been really hard and he stresses any time he thinks he might be ineligible for sports (which has yet to happen).  Sports is the be all and end all for Nick right now and I give him a lot of credit but his playing time is minimal at best.  December is brutal for basketball.  Between the two boys on average during December we have five games per week.  Last night we did not have a basketball game for Jay or Nick.  I commented to Nick how nice it was to not have a game and Nick's response to me was, "I wish we had games every night because with games I might get an opportunity to play."  I had to pick my mouth up from the floor.  My boy is driven!  His teachers commented on his organization (shocker, I know, considering he can't pick up his towels after showering), his kindness towards others, his politeness and his ability to advocate for himself and work hard!  One of his teachers said he does not fit the mold for most I.E.P. students and everyone agreed they saw Nick phasing out of an I.E.P. by high school, that a 504 plan would be more appropriate for him.  School has been a journey for Mike, me and our boys.  I can't believe Jay will graduate next year and Nick will enter high school on a 504 plan.  It's bittersweet!  I am incredibly thankful.

The Bench

Basketball season is in full swing and both my boys are bench warmers.  Here's the good, the bad and the ugly.  The good is Jay has been playing basketball for 8 years.  He likes his coach and he truly loves the game of basketball.  He stuck with it when nearly everyone else didn't.  In fact there are only three juniors left still playing (including Jay).  Jay's group of boys have taken some hits through the years with basketball and many decided it wasn't worth it.  Jay made the choice that it was worth it but it's come at a cost and this is the bad.  The bad is he rarely plays and the ugly is he only plays if his team is going to lose and that's after he has watched boys younger than him play the entire game.  Now I get you play the boys with the most skill but this is not being written by a level minded man, it's being written by a heartfelt mother and any mother who has witnessed her child sit on the bench game after game knows exactly what I'm talking about.
The good with Nick is he is driven and like Jay, loves the game.  What his coach doesn't see is many nights after practice, in the freezing cold, Nick puts his hat on, grabs his ball and heads outside to shoot hoops.  On weekends he will shoot for hours.  Last week he played for so long on the hard concrete that he injured his ankle.  Like Jay, Nick only plays for a few minutes and only if his team is losing.  One could argue that year after year of enduring this builds character in the boys and while there may be some truth in that, at the end of each game I want to take the character building exercise and shove it up someone's you know what.  Just sayin!

Thanksgiving weekend

 We had a lot to be thankful for this year.  Mom's recovery has been amazing.  It is true her right arm is slow and her speech continues to frustrate her, but she continues to get better each month that goes by.  It has been a joy to see her get back to doing things she did pre-stroke.  We had a late dinner on Thanksgiving with Kim and her family and John and Linda.  We played games, laughed and ate.  We ate a lot!  Imagine that?

                                     Lauren entertained us with her flute.

                   Mike fried a turkey again this year and it did not disappoint.

The weather was nice on Thanksgiving so  Jay, Nick and Luke enjoyed playing together.

                                        Too much Thanksgiving for these dogs!.

 On Saturday we headed to Springfield for Jocelyn's first birthday party.

Mike fixed Michelle's piano.  He was a good sport because he was not thrilled to be doing the work in the middle of a birthday party.  I included this picture because two girls wanted to come up and chat with Mike while he was working.  Several people were interested in what he was doing.  Ha.  As always he did great work.
Another activity that consumed much of our time this weekend was Jay's basketball tournament.  It started on Wednesday night and went through Saturday night.  His team won one game and we got to see Jay play in two of the three games.  Between Jay and Nick, their basketball season has a total of 60 games.  Can you say busy?  I'll have some serious bleacher butt come March!  Ugh.

Always good

It's the week of Thanksgiving!  Thanksgiving weekend is my favorite holiday/weekend.  We have a lot to be thankful for.  My mom is doing really good.  I feel like the three of us turned a corner this month.  Things have felt more normal.  Mom has done several things this month that she did pre-stroke.  She's lunched with friends, went shopping with Kim and I, and went to a Beatles concert - yep, a Beatles concert.  She even stayed out until 10:30!  Ha.  She is truly an inspiration and each month that goes by I am beyond thankful to our loving God who gave mom, Kim and I a second chance.  For several months Kim and I were afraid to exhale, our fears giving in to the ways of the world and what might happen next.  Even after everything that has happened the last 3 years I still find it hard to fully trust God, even though I know full well God is good, and his timing is perfect.  I'm reading Lysa Terkeurst new book, "It Isn't Supposed To Be This Way," and boy am I learning!  I'm a work in progress.  No one knows or understands my weaknesses better than God.  Lysa describes walking a tightrope in her book.  I've walked a lot of tightropes and never once has God let me fall - not once.  During each situation He is faithful.  Yes, I get frustrated because my humanly self gets discouraged with time frames.  My focus is on how long my suffering is taking and when will it ever end.  When I finally make it to the end of that tightrope I am better, I am stronger and there is good, always good.

This man

This man is the hardest worker I have ever, hands down, ever met.  I've known this to be true for 24 years I've been with Mike.  He will be 46 next month and he doesn't slow down.  I know there are times he wishes and longs for things to just be easier, less physically demanding.  He literally works from sun up to sun set and I never hear him complain - ever.  I occasionally hear frustration in his voice, but he never complains.  Last week we finally got a concrete apron for our driveway for the boys to play basketball on. Mike ordered his boys a very nice basketball hoop, compliments of their nana.  Mike never seems to get "easy jobs."  The hoop arrived two days ago and Mike's didn't have anything scheduled for Cornerstone so he has spent all day and evening getting this hoop ready which has required him to rent an auger, pick the auger up, use the auger to dig a 4 foot hole, which only got the job done halfway.  When Mike drove all the back to Bloomington to return the rented auger he came home to start manually digging a hole through all the clay, yes clay!  When he got the hole big enough he had to physically get into the hole and dig out the gravel by hand at the bottom (see picture above).  It's November in Central Illinois, it's cold and wet.  Yesterday afternoon Mike took a 30 minute break and I rubbed him down with icy hot, but after that he was back at it, until dusk and rained stopped him.  Today he picked up and unloaded 30 bags of 80 lbs concrete bags.  Normally the boys help him but he got it done today while they were in school.  This man never ceases to amaze me.  He is relentless in his love for his family.  Life hasn't been an easy road for him, but I have no doubt that one day when he stands before God, Mike will hear the words, "Well done good and faithful servant, you used all the talents and abilities I gave you, well done."

One season ends, another one begins

 Nick finished his football season yesterday. Overall his team had a good season.  Nick played mostly defense but on occasion he was QB.  His favorite position is running back, which sadly he didn't get to play.  He tried out for basketball about 2 weeks ago and made the team.  For 2 weeks he's had double practices.  This week he'll just have basketball, which will be nice. A funny thing about this picture is Jay and Nick have the same stand, hands on hips.  During each of their times playing football I could look for my boys on the side lines and know it was them because their hands would be placed on their hips.  I frantically searched for a picture of Jay (standing like Nick) but couldn't find it.

 Jay went with Mike and I to Nick's last game yesterday and was quite entertaining.  He loves to bug his dad!

 The boys take private basketball lessons.  I went with them the other day and was impressed with what I saw.  Just this week we got a concrete driveway.  The boys will be able to set up a hoop and play basketball at home, something they are really excited about.

Football season is ended, but basketball is about to begin!  I always say I have a love/hate relationship with sports, but as the boys get older I have more of a love relationship.  They need the structure and activity and I know one day when this is all over, I will miss it!