Dear Nick

 Today is my 12 year anniversary with my company.  My biggest reason for leaving my former company that I had been with for 16 years was the opportunity to work from home.  Nick was entering Kindergarten and Jay 4th grade.  What a blessing this job has been for me, my boys and Mike.  As much I could sing  praises about how this job has provided for my family in more ways than one it really leads me into my purpose in writing today to begin with.  Nick.  Twelve years ago I was chasing 5 year old Nick around the yard, trying to keep him from stuffing frogs into a small bird feeder.  Coming home from walks in the evening only to find he had covered my entire vehicle in tanning spray.  Parenting in general through the years has been a joy.  Exhausting but still joyful.  I knew there would come a day when suddenly my time would be mine again.  I was sure I'd be feeling all the emotions of relief, happiness and peace, knowing I could release much of my parenting reigns and while I do feel those emotions, I also can't help but feel a little sad.  Nick is Mr. Independent.  As he wraps up his junior year and gets ready to head into his senior year he requires nothing of me.  I'm serious.  Nothing.  I practically have to beg him to allow me to make breakfast for him because making breakfast is my thing.  It's how I served my boys since they were little but even that is coming to an end.  In the grand scheme of things I'm exceptionally proud of Nick.  He may be 17 but if you talk to him you think you're talking to a grown adult with years of experience.  As his dad says, "Nick is an old soul."  He has big plans and the drive and personality to bring all of his plans to fruition.  He thinks nothing of hauling his boat around Illinois, only to experience where he can get the best fishing done.  Nick doesn't know a stranger.  He's respectful to his dad and I because even though we give him a lot of rope, he realizes his momma is still home worrying about him.  

Recently Nick told me he never wanted our relationship to be damaged, where we become unconnected.  His exact words to me were, "You better not let our relationship get to that point."  I think I'd die first.  So Nick if I chase you down, if I hug you too much and if I ask too many questions which I know is super annoying, I'm not sorry.  You are not going to let any grass grow under your feet.  On occassion I will have to chase you down.  Just know you are my youngest.  It's hard to let the youngest one go.  Remember I love you, I pray for you and I'm your biggest cheerleader.  Enjoy your summer before your senior year.