The meltdown

In reading the title of my blog one might think I'm referring to a meltdown one of the boys had but Oh No, not this time.  This time it was me.  I'm not proud of it but it happened and now I must confess that it did as it was witnessed by Mike and Jay.  I was thrilled when school started......finally a quiet house to work in, no more fighting between the boys, the list goes on and on.  But since school has started I've felt a slight tug at my heart and adjustments have certainly been made.  I've had to adjust to the fact the boys aren't in the same school together anymore, nor will they ever be again.  I am not seeing Jay nearly as often as I was used to.  He's involved in cross country (which is wonderful) which requires 2 hours of practice after school.  His friends have always been important to him but even more so since starting middle school, all of which is very normal.  Then it all hit me last night.  I went to Nick's parent orientation at school.  Nick has the same teacher Jay did in 2nd grade.  Second grade was really a pivotal year for Jay and it truly seems like he was in second grade yesterday.  Sitting in that classroom last night I could close my eyes and see Jay as a second grader.  I remembered the whip cream project we did for Valentine's Day that year and I remembered the struggles he had which turned out to be very positive by years end.  Then I laughed when Nick's teacher told me that talking to Nick is like having an adult conversation (so true). I know Nick will have a great year too.  The part that lead to my meltdown is how fast it's all going.  Yes, the end goal is to raise my boys and make them into Godly men who are productive in society.  Mike and I often joke over the fun we'll actually have when they finally leave.  Ha!  But that's just it, we are just joking.  We are having the time of our lives right now and what a ride the boys are giving us.  By the time I got home from parent orientation I was in major meltdown mode, so much so that when I walked in the house I was so hysterical that Mike thought I had run over the boys when I pulled in the drive.  I was ridiculous!  But I needed just that one quick moment to have that meltdown.  After all it had been brewing all last week and finally erupted last night.  My husband hugged me and always being the voice of reason that he is told me to pull myself together.  I quickly obeyed as I knew I was over the top in my lunacy.  About that time Jay walked in and I did get a hug from my 6th graders so perhaps the meltdown might have been worth it.  Needless to say that was "my moment" and I don't succumb to those moments often but I did last night and for that moment it felt good.  I'm moving on today and watch out Nick..........I'll be sucking the life out of you this year in second grade!