Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable

When Mike and I decided that he would start his own business, we knew it would be a steep climb.  There isn't too many things that we've encountered that have thrown us for a loop.  It's all hard and it's all expensive.  People tell us it will take a good year or two for Mike to establish a solid business and we are finding word of mouth is everything.  Right now Mike has no set schedule and he is slowly getting comfortable with that but he doesn't like it.  So, when people ask me how Mike is doing and how the business is going, I always tell people that Mike is just trying to get comfortable

with being uncomfortable.  We have completely changed how we do and look at things.  No longer does Mike get a steady bi weekly pay check.  No longer does Mike get up at 5:00 to report to work by 6:30.  No longer does Mike have to process inventory, now he has to buy the inventory!  Just this week Mike got his van design and it looks great!  But as I was pulling out of my driveway yesterday I thought to myself, what if someone had a crystal ball and had showed me a year ago the simple picture of the words, "Cornerstone Custom Carpentry" on a white van parked in my very own driveway, what in the world would I have thought was going on?  I would have guessed that perhaps Mike finally agreed to hire someone to finish the trim in our house.  Never would I have ever guessed that Mike would have lost his job, accepted Christ and started his own business, naming it Cornerstone Custom Carpentry.  NEVER. IN. MY. WILDEST. DREAMS!  Mike and I but especially Mike is cautiously optimistic about this new adventure.  Although I know the next 12 months is uncertain in terms of how much work Mike will have and how much money he'll be able to generate.  Another challenge is the services he provides.  His business encompasses three services so it's hard to know which service will require the most of his time and how he'll juggle all three of them.  He's finding the wood repair and restoration service is his favorite service.  Every time I see Mike in action with a customer I am comforted in knowing he's truly doing what God intended for him.  Mike is a natural and I'm not just saying that because I'm his wife.  He knows what he's doing and he does it well and he's so genuine, honest and hard working and all of that comes through in his interactions with customers.  So for now we will get comfortable with being uncomfortable and maybe, just maybe, I can say that in a year from now there will be things about this business I could have never imagined today as I write this blog! 

Merlot and a Masterpiece

Last night I had a girls night and we painted, Yes, I painted.  I have no artistic ability but my painting didn't turn out too bad.  I won't be displaying it in my house or anything but I enjoyed doing it.  It was Jami's birthday (my beloved neighbor who is moving soon) so it was a fun way to celebrate!!! 

It's hard to say goodbye

In just two weeks I've taken two hits.  Our beloved neighbors are moving!  While they aren't going far, it's still a bitter pill to swallow.  Thankfully Nick and N. can still ride their bikes to each others house but soon when I look out my window and don't see them or their children it will make me sad.  For now, I'll enjoy it while they are still here.  They moved in three years ago, at a crucial time.  Nick desperately needed N's calm nature, his kindness and friendship.  When they moved in I never thought such a sweet friendship would develop between N. and Noah but three years later those two are still thick as thieves.  Their friendship is a perfect example of God's faithfulness.  This move is a positive one for our neighbors, and I have to trust God has a plan for us, just as He did three years ago.  My second big hit is my awesome co-worker, Vanessa, is going to work for another department.  Once again it's not all bad because she's not leaving the company but she won't be on my team anymore.  When I made the move to my current company five years ago, it was scary.  She took the scary out of it and made me feel at ease.  She's been so good to me and for me and I will miss her dearly.  Through all my seasons of change (more on that in another blog) I certainly know that change is part of life and I get that but sometimes I just want things to stay the same.  Oh, and along those same lines of change as I'm writing this blog Jay is on the trampoline with his new girlfriend.  Jay might be the only boy I know who asks a girl out on the last day of school.  But I digress...this blog is about change and it's certainly evident in my daily life. 

And I'll leave this blog with this picture.  I love that I'm a witness to this special friendship.  These boys will be using this road a lot in the months to come! 

End of the school year summary

 I remember when I picked Nick up from his last day of third grade (last year).  He was really upset.  He did not see how being promoted to fourth grade was a going to be a good thing, but fourth grade has proven to be a very good grade for Nick.  It was a rough beginning but wow did Nick turn it around.  In about February of this year his teachers and I were really concerned about him.  He wasn't making much progress and at home it felt like the work was too much for him.  Then he was introduced to the "I Survived" chapter books and his reading took off, along with his confidence.  As Nick exits fourth grade he's reading at a fifth grade level (Hoorah!!!) and his math is at a sixth grade level.  Nick loves to set goals for himself and while he was reading the "I Survived" series, he was able to track his progress and he loved that.  Next year he hopes to read one million words.

 At an assembly a week ago Nick was presented with the Sportsmanship award.  Only five students in the school receive this award and Nick was one of them.  He got the award for showing great sportsmanship (no surprise there) and being an all around leader.  Yes, it was a very proud mom moment.  Along with the award/certificate he got a jacket which he's sporting in the picture above. 

Last week we went into Mimi's classroom so Nick could show her students how his circuit boards work.  The students and Nick loved it.  So here's to fifth grade, Nick!!!  Way to go on your acceptance into Student Council next school year.  I can't wait to see what fifth grade has in store for you!!

8th grade promotion

 This boy had his 8th grade promotion this week.  I know every parent says this but how has the time gone by this fast?  It seems like just yesterday I was wiping his nose (when I could catch him), tucking him into bed at night and signing him up for kindergarten.  From the time Jay was born I kept a diary until I started this blog in 2009.  Here's me being real......Jay ran me ragged as a toddler and through his early elementary school years.  He tested me at every turn.  There were times when I really questioned whether or not I could parent him and parent him well, but I kid you not when I tell you that he has been a dream in middle school.  While I know I have more years of parenting Jay ahead of me, I feel like he has a solid foundation.  A foundation centered on Christ, his family and his education.  This year in particular was exceptionally positive for him.  He made honor roll twice, and his teachers nominated him as a Ray Kroc nominee at the end of the school year.  He didn't win the award but only 10 eighth graders were chosen and he was one of them.  What an honor!  Additionally, he was captain of his basketball team.  Jay remained actively involved in his small group at church and despite the fact his small group members go to different schools, he's built friendships with them.  What I'm most proud of is Jay does not let his learning challenges define him.  He seems to have (finally) overcome them, and I think he might even say his challenges have had a positive impact on him.

 Here's another truth.  Jay is my child that has required a wee bit more work and the same goes into our relationship, but this boy has my heart and soul, and as his momma I will put every effort into maintaining a relationship with him until I'm old and delusional.  I remember in early elementary school Jay started pulling away from me (In 3rd grade he told me not to come to school anymore!).  I have loved middle school with Jay though, especially this year.  We laugh more together, and I'm not so sensitive when he says I'm embarrassing (which he really doesn't say too often) or tells me I'm lame.   The last six months for us as a family has been hard but we came out of our struggles stronger.  I am so thankful Jay was a witness to our struggles.  And I'm thankful I got to see how he handled it.  I will never forget how my 13 year old displayed the love of Jesus to his dad on a cold November morning.  In that moment every worry I had about Jay disappeared.  Sure I still worry about the silly mom things that we all worry about, but that morning it was like God took care of a multitude of things and worrying about whether or not Jay was going to turn out okay was one worry that is no longer on my mind.  I've certainly learned the art of surrendering.  Mike and I have said many prayers thanking God for entrusting us to love these boys of ours. 

 While this picture is adorable and frame worthy, it really portrays an unrealistic picture.  Jay and Nick still fight....CONSTANTLY!!!  I see this picture as the two of them staring at each other, plotting how they will destroy each other later in the evening. 

                                     Two of Jay's biggest fans, his nana and his Mimi. 

                           These boys have my heart.  They have been friends since second grade.

So another season of life changes and soon another season will begin for Jay.  I pray he's a light to others.  I pray that God uses all of Jay's skills and abilities.  I pray he finds friends who can bare his burdens, friends that "get him."  I pray he's an encouragement to others.  And yes, I pray for his future wife, who ever that may be.  What I want him to understand is the sky is the limit with hard work.....like really hard work.  I want him to love well and be loved.  Jay, your mom and dad love you and are so proud of you!!! 

I heart books

I love books!  I love the way the pages feel when I turn them.  I love the way they smell (I know, weird), and I love talking about books with others.  Mostly I love it when a book touches me personally and profoundly.  I share my love of books with my mother, who might just love books and reading a wee bit more than me (it's true).  I don't think I'll ever forget the season of our life this fall (right before Mike lost his job) when she and I would spend 30 minutes a day talking about "The Unlikely Disciple."  We were completely engrossed with that book.  We laugh that my mom and sister have teaching in common and my mom and I have our books!  Praise be to God for that.  However, lately I haven't read any book that's just "taken me in."  I must admit this saddens me and frustrates me, especially since I'm a member of a book club.  Last month my book club read, "A Man Called Ove."  My book club loved it, except for me and one other woman.  I always berate myself when I don't like a book.  I find that if a book doesn't "grab" me fairly quickly then I lose interest.  The beauty of good friends is they get you!  For my birthday, Sarah and Jenny presented me with the book "Hope Heals."  It's a true story written by Jay and Katherine Wolf.  When 26 year old Katherine was a new wife and mother she suffered a massive stroke.  All the odds were stacked against Katherine and Jay.  I've asked myself if my marriage would have survived such a catastrophe at such a young age and I simply don't know the answer to that.  I'm more than half way through the book and I've laughed but mostly I've cried.  Their story is so profound.  As I'm reaching the end of the story I find myself saying to myself how much I'd love to be Katherine's friend - not in a weird stalking way (ha).  I want to hug her and tell her how much her story touched me, how much I appreciated her honesty and Jay's too.  When I think of how hard her recovery was and then to write their story in such a beautiful, honest, raw way, I am truly amazed.  If anyone is looking for encouragement or going through a tough time I highly recommend "Hope Heals," it will completely change the way you look at your own challenges. 

Road maps

School has been challenging for my boys.  I can't say which boy isn't been hardest for because their challenges are unique.  On the other hand their blessings are unique too.  What I can tell you is they are both determined boys and their hard work has paid off.  I'm reminded of Tim McGraw's new song, "Humble and Kind."  There is a line in the song that goes something like this, "when the work you put in is realized, let yourself feel the pride but always stay humble and kind."  It goes on to say, "when you get where you're goin, don't forget to turn back around."  I love these lines because they are so true for my family right now.  While I realize the boys are only in 4th and 8th grade and there are still many, many steep climbs ahead, I am proud of how far they've come.  I'm proud of how far we've come as a family, and there is certainly a line of people who have helped Mike and I get through the last six months.  So to finally get to my point of this blog, Nick got accepted as a student council member next school year!  Earlier this year he expressed an interest in applying for student council.  In April he wrote an essay and it was exceptional (I'm just sayin').  Yesterday he bounced off the bus and told me the good news!  I'm here to tell you that if I would have had this small snippet when this boy was in 2nd grade, it would have given me some assurance that Nick would make it through his elementary school years!  But of course we aren't given a crystal balls for our futures.  I'm finding that in every situation and every season I just have to trust God.  It's taken me 42 years but God knows I'm a slow learner (Ha).  He's given me lots of grace through the years!  I am finding that even during this season of my life with Mike and his new business that I have no choice but to trust.  We both laugh that we wish God would provide us with a small business road map.  Wouldn't it be nice if He gave us a parenting road map too?  Since that isn't going to happen, I'll keep plugging along and enjoying the daily blessings of this road called motherhood. 

End of the year festivities

 This blog is all about Nick and his end of the year festivities.  Not to worry, I'll have blog posts about Jay next week.  I have to admit it's easier to do blogs about Nick these days because he still allows me to take a picture of him.  Last week Nick did his state presentation of Idaho.  He had to memorize a short speech and did a great job.  My mom, Mike and I all came to watch him. 

 Last night was the science fair at school.  This was a big deal for Nick and he took great pride in preparing for it.  He made a lava lamp with oil, water and alka seltzer and he made a "bobbing" matchstick project.  I was really proud of Nick.  He worked hard at it and ended up getting first place in his category. 

 Nick and his buddy, Noah.  Noah's project was a potato clock.  Who knew that a potato can actually keep a clock going?!

                                 Lauren tagged along with my mom to Nick's science fair.    

                                           Nick and his other science fair friends.

 Nick and his friend, who happens to be a girl, a very cute girl, I might add.  He tells me I played this one very well when I offered to take a picture of the two of them. 

                                          Nick's first place ribbon.  Way to go, Nick!!

This boy

Recently I heard a story about a boy, who for the purposes of my blog I'll call B., at our elementary school who had tried repeatedly the entire school year to score a touch down during recess.  The boys he played with during recess always included him in their games, but he wasn't as athletic as they were and despite his attempts he never made it very far with the ball.  Since the end of the school year was fast approaching and B. had yet to score that desired touch down, another boy came up with a plan!  During lunch one day this boy reminded his friends that they had all scored a touch down during the school year but B. had not.  This boy wanted B. to know how it felt to score a touch down so he asked his friends to lag behind a bit in order to give B. an opportunity to score a touch down.  This group of boys all agreed it was a great plan!  And so on a sunny May day during recess a group of fourth grade boys gave another boy a chance to feel what it was like to score a touch down.  I was told that it made B's day, that he was so excited to finally score his first touch down.  This boy I describe is my Nick!  Nick's friend, C., came home that afternoon and told his mom about Nick's plan and how it worked and made B's day.  My friend said it perfectly when she said that knowing that our kids are kind to others is more important than any test score.  I couldn't agree more. 

10 year old wisdom

Yesterday was a rough day. We all have them every once in awhile but honestly, considering how the last six months have been, I haven't had too many rough days, honestly!  But yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was missing my grandpa.  Then part of building a business is working odd hours (on occasion) so Mike had a job over the dinner hour which left me alone with the boys and all hell broke loose.  And the weight of our lives now just me.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't go back to my life before Nov. 11, 2015 - you couldn't pay me to do it.  But anyone who has ever had to do something really hard would tell you that there are days during that mountain climb that just get exhausting.  You question yourself, are you really doing the right thing?  Is this the journey you're supposed to be on?  Mike said to me the other day that this entire situation would be so much easier if he just had a "9 to 5" job, but then what would that solve?  A whole lot of nothing except yes, Mike would get his daily rhythm back which he so desperately desires.  I'm caught in the middle, a gentle balance between being a supportive wife and knowing my husband's heart is freshly transformed, and wanting to get this "show" on the road.  So, last night I was in the car with Nick.  I was driving home and it was dark.  We had the radio going and suddenly I just started crying.  I started to apologize to Nick immediately, not knowing what the heck had gotten into me.  Instinctively he shut off the radio, put his hand on my back and said, "Mom, just say Jesus.  After all, I learned that from you."  I did exactly what Nick instructed me to do and I instantly felt better.  Nick gave me a rare gift, and it was an added bonus that it just happened to be right before Mother's Day.  He reminded me that Jesus is always there, we just have to call out for Him, and it felt good to know that my boy actually listens to some of the things I try and teach him.  God is good, all the time!

Happy 10th Birthday, Nick

 Nick reached double digits!  We celebrated his birthday on his actual birthday.  The day was miserable, weather wise.  It literally rained all day!  Nick, my mom and I went to see "God's Not Dead 2."  It was excellent.  We ended the night with dinner.  The picture below is Nick with his cousins and friends.  His good buddy, J., spent the night with us.  Nick and J have been friends since 3rd grade and we love this boy!  He is such a good friend to Nick and for Nick.  J. is a calm kid which helps even out Nick's not so calm personality. 

Nick is very passionate about certain things.  He's 100% country and he's got a big personality!  As I told him on his birthday, he completed our family and I can't imagine our family without him!