Bake, Hug, Show up, Repeat

I'm very blessed to be surrounded by a circle of girlfriends who are beyond wise.  This weekend I spent some time with my friend, Sarah.  Sarah is the mom of three boys.  They are all three different and unique in their own ways - just like my two are.  Her oldest son is also 15, and Sarah faces the same challenges I do.  As we talked I was bemoaning to Sarah how hard it is right now in raising Jay.  I feel unconnected to him, and it's so clear he wants no part of anything I have to say or do.  Sarah said her philosophy with her eldest right now is to simply feed him, hug him once a day and show up to his events.  She said he has chores he has to do but she's no longer on his case to clean his room.  She said when his room gets gross enough, he'll clean it, and guess what, it got gross enough and he cleaned it.  It was like a light bulb went off in my head.  Sarah was right on.  I'm spending so much time in trying to keep my kitchen fully stocked right now (especially since the boys are home for the summer) and truly Jay really is happiest with me when I keep my mouth shut and simply feed him.  So for now, that is my new thing: bake, hug, show up, repeat.  For the time being I'm leaving the rest up to God and Mike!