Picture it

Picture it, the week before Christmas and all hell has broken lose at my house.

Picture it.  Dec. 17, 2:00 a.m.  Mike and I are awoken by little feet and not the good kind.  It was a sound like finger nails clicking through our cold air return.  We were sure it was a mouse.  Mike set out a sticky track and the next day, we find none other than a bat stuck on that pad!  While it hissed at us, although Mike said they don't hiss, they click, the boys were fascinated, but me not so much.

Picture it.  Dec. 19, midnight to 5:00 a.m.  Mike's 45th birthday.  Nick gets poison ivy, like an EPIC case of poison ivy.  How Nick managed to get in poison ivy in December is a mystery to me.  Anyway, Nick makes many trips to our room in the middle of the night and gets all Incredible Hulk on us, ripping off his clothes, screaming in misery.  During one unfortunate trip, Nick and I didn't know we were both headed towards one another and we slammed right into each other.  Mike said because I'm me and Nick is Nick, we had to then discuss the infraction for 5 minutes, waking up the entire house while we apologized to each other.

Picture it.  Dec. 19, 9:30 a.m.  I take Nick to the doctor.  Doctor prescribes steroids for Nick.  Just what Nick needs, something to make him more Incredible Hulkish.

Picture it.  Dec. 19, 8:00 p.m.  Nick is undone over his itching.  Mike and Jay are out of town at a basketball game.  Nick and I get in my car and drive back into town for more sprays, creams and Oh yeah, a picture.  Nick needed a picture sent to his teacher which I had attempted to email twice.  She never received it.  Imagine that.  I finally had enough sense to print the darn picture out with my SD card at the pharmacy - crises averted, for the moment.

Picture it.  Dec. 20, 7:00 a.m.  I'm preparing for my 8:00 hair appointment.  Jay is livid because my hair appointment means he'll have to ride the bus to school.  Clearly I'm a terrible mother.  How dare I make a hair appointment that conflicts with me being his taxi driver.  You would have thought I was dropping him off at a concentration camp.  

Picture it.  Dec. 20, 7:30 a.m.  I drop the boys off at school, as Jay is getting out of the car he turns to me and sarcastically tells me to have a splendid hair appointment, Mother!  Oh yes, he broke out the very strong and enunciated mother!  He ended it with slamming the door behind him.  On a positive note within an hour he did send me an apology text.  Luckily for Jay in the hours to come my focus would shift from his poor and selfish attitude and my focus would then be on his brother.

Picture it.  Dec. 20, 11:30 a.m.  I was driving home, trying to enjoy my day off, when I get a call from the school.  As soon as I saw the 379 number I thought, ummmm, this can either be about Jay's Trump shirt that he wore to school today or Nick unloaded on some kid who said he had herpes (yes, that was another issue this week too, but my blog has only so much room and it's only Wednesday).  It was a real toss up.  Which boy can it be?  It was like  trying to play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and using my 50/50 option.  It was Andy, our friend and middle school principal.  All I will say in my blog is Nick wrote a highly inappropriate note which got intercepted straight to Andy.  It was not a threatening note, I will say that, but it earned him a nice long 2 hour detention tonight after school and mortification of facing our friend and his principal.  It was a good lesson as a parent.  I have gotten way too relaxed in his Kindle usage and his phone usage.  No more!

Picture it, Dec. 20, current time.  I actually feel better putting this all in writing, trying to see the humor in it.  Tonight I'm spending time with my girls, Sarah and Jenny, and hopefully the alcohol will be strong.  Only kidding, kind of.