The end of the 30 days

 I'm writing this bright and early before I start my work day, hoping that my mind might be fresher.  I am loving these fall mornings and my daily routine that goes along with it.  Notice my fancy coconut cream whip with a sprinkle of pumpkin spice on my coffee.  I'm obsesssed with it.  This week will conclude my 30 days of no TV, no alcohol and no social media. My church will also wrap up its "On Purpose" study.  I have loved everything about this study and although I don't have the big idea that I had hoped for, I have still learned so much, mostly how much I can actually accomplish through and with God.  I can do nothing on my own.  

This morning as I prayed I was a wee bit frustrated with myself, frustrated that I hadn't latched on to something to ask God for.  It's entirely on me.  I'm pretty confident God would have lead me and answered my prayers had I placed something, anything at His feet.  A few of my friends have come up with ideas that I absolutely adore and I am genuinely excited for them and hope I get an opportunity to help them launch their big God dreams.  For now my prayer remains simple; light a desire in my heart, God and then help me to grab onto it and guide me, knowing and trusting He can do far more   

During certain seasons of my life I have often felt like God has prepared me for something before it happens.  I'm at such an interesting season of my life right now.  I feel good, mentally and physically.  I've finally settled into my new job (even though I'm not crazy about it).  My oldest son has moved out of the nest.  Mike is nicely settled in his new career endeavor and Nick's 16th birthday is on the horizon.  It has occurred to me that maybe I don't have this great heart desire for a big God dream right now because my service is to my mother.  In any case I'm really content right now in all things, big and small!     

Football

Nick's football season is about to conclude.  I wish I would have taken better pictures because he looks pretty cute playing!  The picture above is him coming off the field right after he made a crazy good tackle.  He loves playing the game even if it makes me cringe at times.  Although on a level of making me nervous football doesn't hold a candle to ice fishing and the ocean. I'm pretty sure ice fishing and Nick's antics in the ocean have taken at least 5 years off my life.  Just sayin.  

It was an absolute joy to watch these boys play the game this season since last fall they weren't able to play - thanks for our fantastic IL dictator, I mean governor and Covid.  

Nick says he's not playing basketball this year.  He's played basketball every year since 3rd grade.  I see his reasoning and I support him.  I'm pretty sure Nick will find ways to keep himself busy.  

 

Jay - making his own way

 I haven't written much about Jay lately but there is a lot to share.  He started his plumbing apprenticeship in late April.  In early October his good friend, Aaron, reached out to him to let him know there was an opening at the electrical shop he worked at.  This was the same place Jay really wanted to work right after he graduated high school but there were no openings.  To make a long story short Jay applied and got the job and started this week.  He handled the entire transition professionally and respectfully.  Philip, his plumbing employer, had been good to Jay and Jay knew it.  It all worked out and I'm so happy for Jay.  He's in full adulting mode and living with his buddies, Kaden and Mason.  He's working in the profession that his heart desires and he's been dating the same girl for almost a year now - yay!  Do I miss him?  Yes, of course.   I miss his work stories and conversating with him but tonight he stopped by after work.  He sat at the breakfast bar with me.  I heated up some left overs for him and we chatted about his week.  It was the best blessing of my week!  I took this picture of him today, holding his dog who has been a part of his life since he was 10.  

The transition in Jay moving out hasn't been as hard as I thought.  First off he's not far away and I still see him about once a week and I have the perfect excuse to hug him now.  Ha!  Plus it's kind of freeing. Mike and I have done all we can for him.  We instilled a work ethic in him, pointed him to Jesus, and demonstrated what marriage looks like - the good and the hard parts.  Sure we made mistakes and like I always say parenting is really a crap shoot - you can do your best and it's a toss of a coin.  But I am sure looking forward to the years ahead to see what Jay does.  I sure love that boy of mine!  

My 30 days continues

 I've gotten derailed blogging about my "On Purpose" study and my 30 days of no alcohol, no social media and no TV.  But first what is going on with my mom.  Her MRI demonstrated she did not have another stroke.  Although that is great news, we are perplexed by the fact she can't form words.  Her speech continues to hinder her.  She is beyond frustrated.  My daily prayers continue to center around asking and sometimes begging God to restore her speech.  Last weekend my sister and I made the difficult decision that mom should no longer drive.  Today we are selling her car.  I pretty much hate myself but Kim and I are confident that we made the right decision.  Mom wasn't thrilled (who would be) but she accepted it with grace and strength, as she always does.  Between everything going on with mom, Jay moving out and Nick's schedule I haven't had a lot of time to focus on the "On Purpose" study, although I read my book daily.  I've had an idea on my heart but honestly I'm not sure if  it's coming from me or the Holy Spirit.  I listen to a podcast, The Unfolding.  So many of the people they interview talk about the Holy Spirit and how they can discern the HS and how the HS has clearly lead them in their own walks.  Honestly I'm green with envy of people who discern the HS.  I believe I have heard/experienced the HS once.  It was when Mike lost his job and he was literally in my lap with his face down.  I could literally hear the HS say to me, "I have heard your prayers, Amy, and I have answered them, now trust me."  So many times in my walk I question whether something I'm doing is god's actual call for my life.  I have gotten better in living by a doors open, doors close policy.  If a door opens for me, I walk through it, knowing that if God doesn't want me somewhere He will close the door.  I've seen this play out in my life time and time again.  

Last night I was with my girls - my bible study group.  What an amazing group of women and I find it ironic we met at just the time where the "On Purpose" study is focused on community, congregating with other believers and encouraging one another.  I am almost through my 30 days and full disclosure I did cheat and had a cocktail a few days ago but I got myself back up, dusted myself off and I'm forging ahead.  We talked about the effects of social media and TV and the roles they play in our lives.  Since I can almost see the finish line for my journey I can say I'm pretty sure I'll be cancelling Netflix at the end of this.  TV is what I have missed the least.  I'll pick up social media again but very cautiously.  Mary described social media as the devils playground and she's spot on.  As for alcohol I have missed it the most - hence my cheat day.  I haven't noticed any changes in myself physically which surprises me.  I haven't lost an ounce and my energy is the same. Regardless it has been nice to clear my mind these past weeks. 

Homecoming 2021

Nick had homecoming this past weekend and what a weekend it was. Friday night started out with the football.  We got beat...badly.  The weather was beautiful on Saturday and we took pictures outside.  Our school put up an outdoor tent so the kids could enjoy their homecoming mask free.  Nick's date was the cutest.  She was sweet, funny and converstaional.  She actually reminded me a lot of Faith which really just made me miss Faith more than I already do.  Boo.  

Somewhere I have a picture of these two together as babies.  Calvin and Nick have been friends a long time.  Clearly, Calvin towers over Nick now.  

Me and my boy.  I so enjoyed watching Nick and his friends experience their first homecoming since Covid ruined everything last year.  

The big moments of Saturday was the after party hosted none other by yours truly.  We had 18 kids at our house on Saturday night and 7 boys spent the night (see picture above, the one circled is Nick).  As you can see the boys were barely awake at breakfast.  The kids seemed to have a really good time and in all honesty they are a great group of kids.  I enjoyed hosting them but it was also my one and done time.  Next year another parent can host because I'm getting too old to stay up all night!  Ha.  

 

My Yes friend

 Mary is my friend who I text and ask (last minute I might add) Hey, want to go with me on a road trip to watch Nick's game?  Her response is Sure!  Last April she traveled with me to watch his game in the freezing cold and last night we sat in the rain.  If that isn't the mark of a true friend then I don't know what is.  We always say God sure knew what He was doing when he put us together.  She fills my cup every time and Nick doesn't think she's bad either.  ha!  

My journey of no alcohol,  no TV and social media continues.  I have 19 more days to go but who is counting?  Right now I'm too busy to think too much about it.  This upcoming weekend is Nick's homecoming and I'll have 10 kids over after the dance.  I'm pretty sure I'll wake up Sunday morning looking like the living dead.  

I do actually have something on my heart in relation to my "On Purpose" study but I want to continue to pray about it and see what happens.  

It happened

 I'm way behind in blogging this week.  Here's a quick recap of what's been going on.  On Sept 18 my mom suffered what Kim and I believe to be another small stroke.  It has greatly affected her speech.  We have a MRI scheduled on Oct. 8.  Mom is doing fine but her health and future have weighed heavily on my heart and mind this week.  Nick's football schedule continues to grueling.  That isn't something new but it's usually at this time (right smack in the middle of the season) that the schedule gets exhausting for the boys and the parents.  I took one day off work this week to meet my cousin, Cora, halfway to get my grandma's hutch so Mike could get a whiskey cabinet.  My mom came along for the ride.  It was good for her to get out.  We listened to podcasts going there and back.  It was a blessing for both of us to share the morning together.  I also got my new company car that day, my Ford Bronco.  I'm convinced it's a great car to turn 50 in.  I'll have the car for at least 4 years, so although I'm a ways off from 50, I consider the car my 50's fun ride.  Finally for the finale of everything going on, Jay moved out today - like this afternoon.  I knew it was coming but when it actually happened I felt defeated and just sad.  I might have had a small pity party for myself.  In all fairness, he had given me every sign his move was right around the corner.  He moved his bed, his TV and taken all the tubs that Mike and I filled for him with kitchen accessories from the garage.  I was just sure I had one more week with him.  I was wrong.  I will miss him terribly but I've known for weeks, maybe even months, that it was his time to spread his wings and fly.  He has been on the runway long enough.  I probably haven't thanked God enough for the time He gave me with Jay after graduation.  It was truly a gift.  My relationship with Jay has grown and matured.  During these 18 months I was able to laugh with him more, witness him making decisions and good ones at that.  His work ethic is just like his dad's.....well maybe not quite (because really no one can copy Mike's work ethic) but close.  I believe Mike and I have instilled a deep sense of family in his heart.  I will miss his work stories.  Whether it was landscaping or plumbing, his work stories always had me in gales in laughter.  I will also just miss his presence in the house and his discussions with Mike around the grill.  It will take some adjustment on my part as I live life now with just one teenager in the house which leads me in to the whole "On Purpose" study.  I just find it interesting I'm doing this study at what is probably the most perfect time in my life.  I wish I could say I've had some big life altering idea to live my life more purposely but I don't.  That being said I am learning more about myself and how God sees me, like really sees me.  Full disclosure going with alcohol, TV and social media has not been easy.  Tonight I'd love nothing more than to have a cocktail to help bandage my fresh wounds from my oldest moving out but I won't.  I'll write more later this week on my perspectives and insight into how giving all these 3 things up is going.....so far.  Until now I'll drink my La Croix and keep reading books!