My 30 days continues

 I've gotten derailed blogging about my "On Purpose" study and my 30 days of no alcohol, no social media and no TV.  But first what is going on with my mom.  Her MRI demonstrated she did not have another stroke.  Although that is great news, we are perplexed by the fact she can't form words.  Her speech continues to hinder her.  She is beyond frustrated.  My daily prayers continue to center around asking and sometimes begging God to restore her speech.  Last weekend my sister and I made the difficult decision that mom should no longer drive.  Today we are selling her car.  I pretty much hate myself but Kim and I are confident that we made the right decision.  Mom wasn't thrilled (who would be) but she accepted it with grace and strength, as she always does.  Between everything going on with mom, Jay moving out and Nick's schedule I haven't had a lot of time to focus on the "On Purpose" study, although I read my book daily.  I've had an idea on my heart but honestly I'm not sure if  it's coming from me or the Holy Spirit.  I listen to a podcast, The Unfolding.  So many of the people they interview talk about the Holy Spirit and how they can discern the HS and how the HS has clearly lead them in their own walks.  Honestly I'm green with envy of people who discern the HS.  I believe I have heard/experienced the HS once.  It was when Mike lost his job and he was literally in my lap with his face down.  I could literally hear the HS say to me, "I have heard your prayers, Amy, and I have answered them, now trust me."  So many times in my walk I question whether something I'm doing is god's actual call for my life.  I have gotten better in living by a doors open, doors close policy.  If a door opens for me, I walk through it, knowing that if God doesn't want me somewhere He will close the door.  I've seen this play out in my life time and time again.  

Last night I was with my girls - my bible study group.  What an amazing group of women and I find it ironic we met at just the time where the "On Purpose" study is focused on community, congregating with other believers and encouraging one another.  I am almost through my 30 days and full disclosure I did cheat and had a cocktail a few days ago but I got myself back up, dusted myself off and I'm forging ahead.  We talked about the effects of social media and TV and the roles they play in our lives.  Since I can almost see the finish line for my journey I can say I'm pretty sure I'll be cancelling Netflix at the end of this.  TV is what I have missed the least.  I'll pick up social media again but very cautiously.  Mary described social media as the devils playground and she's spot on.  As for alcohol I have missed it the most - hence my cheat day.  I haven't noticed any changes in myself physically which surprises me.  I haven't lost an ounce and my energy is the same. Regardless it has been nice to clear my mind these past weeks.