Pressure

Jay has been in Cross Country since August.  This is his second year and I'm proud of him.  Middle school children make running two miles look easy but it's not.  I am not a runner but I am a walker and I know enough to know that running is hard work and you either love or hate it.  I hate it!  I also think it's fair to say Jay is not in love with long distance running but he's almost completed his season with good times, a good attitude and I'm hoping that in the long run (no pun intended, ha) that he's gained something from his experience.  Recently Jay told me he was feeling so much pressure from people; his coach, his teammates and yep, his parents.  I unintentionally placed pressure on Jay without fully grasping the effect it would have on him.  I thought I was being encouraging, instead I was pressuring him.  I "dangled "prizes" in front of Jay, telling him if he beat his personal record there would be rewards.  Jay had a conversation with Mike that he wanted to do his best and Mike asked him if he wanted to set goals/rewards for himself and Jay said Yes, hence the rewards we set in place for Jay.  I think as the season went on, Jay realized it was too much pressure.  I apologized to Jay for ever putting pressure on him.  He juggles a lot these days; school, friends, sports and balances them all very well.  He is exactly who God made him to be and I'm enjoying seeing him morph into that individual.  Once I became aware of how Jay was feeling I started to think about the pressure kids are under these days.  Social media is everywhere.  School requirements are tougher.  The competitive edge with sports in my opinion has gotten a little ridiculous.  My 12 year old summed it up perfectly the other day when he said, "I just want to run to have fun.  I don't want to feel like I have to beat my personal record each and every time I run."  Last night I attended one of Jay's meets.  I was more aware of this "pressure" and as I walked through the course cheering for Jay I heard such comments as "Catch up to that kid, don't let him beat you," "Push yourself, keep going, you can do it."  These comments came from well meaning parents and coaches and were meant to be encouraging, I'm sure, but how are kids really internalizing these comments?  The first cross country meet I went to last year it was crazy hot and I heard a father scream at his daughter, "Hurry up, I can walk faster than that."  I was appalled!  I don't think anyone could argue that comment was not encouraging.  It's funny sometimes how kids can open your eyes to things and make you see things just a little differently.  Thank you, Jay for reminding me to not sweat the small stuff and see things through your eyes!  Love you.