Doing Nothing = Doing something

Recently Jay informed me I do nothing for him.  Really!  Apparently all the meals I make him, lunches I pack,  miles I drive and so on and so on basically means "nothing" to Jay.  I developed a rather tough skin as a mom when Jay was in third grade (yeah, remember when he told me he'd prefer I didn't come to his class parties anymore).  In other words sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.  Plus I always try to remember that my children are just that, children.  They are going to make lots of mistakes, they are going to do and say dumb things and yeah, hurt my feelings along the way.  It is my job as a parent to call them out on it.  Jay's impulsive verbal slam wasn't intended but just the same it was important to me that he realize it was hurtful (however unintended).  So this morning Jay woke up to find a "love" note from his mother.  It said that since his mother does nothing for him he would need to do the following by himself.
*make his own breakfast and put all his dishes in the dishwasher
*make his own lunch and put all his dishes in the dishwasher
*separate his dirty laundry from the rest of the family and wash his clothes, fold them and put them all away (and by the way, he is required to fold his laundry and put it away but washing it was a new experience for him today)
*do his homework by himself (he has a hard project right now that requires some parental help - this is probably the one that upset him the most because he knew how much he needed my help with this today)

All of these tasks were rather painless.  I needed to him realize I do in fact do a lot for him.  When he read my note he hugged me right away and apologized - perhaps hoping I'd let him off the hook, I didn't.  I have to hand it to Jay he did really well with his tasks.  He never complained, he genuinely apologized to me and he learned something - mission accomplished.  I did laugh this morning because last year it was a goal of mine to make the boys more independent.  I was starting to think I had failed miserably this morning when Jay asked me how he would know when his waffles were done (after placing them in the toaster).  Then when Jay opened the silverware drawer to get his fork he said, "Wow, I never knew how much silverware was in here."  Clearly I need to work harder at having the boys do more for themselves.  Geez!