Missing Jay

So it's Thursday and Jay's been gone 3 1/2 days.  He gets home tomorrow evening.  This is the text I got from him on Tuesday night.
Jay: Hi
Me: Hi, how are you?
Jay: Good
Me: Good night, love you
Jay: I miss you and dad

Of course the big difference is the texting vs letting writing.  I remember writing my parents letters when I went to church camp/mission trips.  Sadly kids these days don't write letters (least of all my boys).  We get texts now.  Ha.  Anyway, on Tuesday night he texted, Wednesday night he called but we only talked for maybe a minute.  I'm anxious for him to get home so we can hear all about his trip.  I am really missing him.  I remember when I went to church camp.  I did pretty well up until mid week.  By the time Friday night came I was wild to get home.  I sense Jay will be the same way.  Can't wait to hug him tomorrow and hear about his trip. 

The Country Boy and The City Girl

 Lauren came out to spend the night with us last night.  I have missed her.  She hasn't spent the night with us for a long time.  She was scared of my dogs but she's over that fear.  She even asked if Copper could sleep with her.  I get such a kick out of watching Lauren and Nick together.  He's such a country boy and she's such a city girl but yet Lauren is always interested in what her boy cousins are up to here in the country.  Last night she cheered for Nick as he caught a blue gill.  She grimaced but continued to watch Uncle Mike filet a fish - "Uncle Mike, why is that fish still moving even though you just cut his head off?"  Nick took her to view turkeys and she asked if they bite.  And she's always up for a ride on the four wheeler.  I love her. 

                                        The city girl turned country (for one night anyway)

Love these two.  Jay is gone this week so it was a perfect time for Nick and Lauren to spend some time together.  Last night Lauren slept in Nick's bed and Nick slept on the floor.  At 10:30 I heard them chatting together.  I went up to check on them and they were listening to music, chatting away.  So cute. 

Jay's leap of faith

Generally speaking both my boys are photogenic but in this picture of Jay, not so much.  However, look past the goofy look to the story I am about to share.  Jay and Nick have really come a long way this summer in terms of their relationship.  Even my tutor, Elizabeth (who was with the boys last summer) has noticed the positive change.  Jay left today for a week long mission trip.  After I put the boys to bed last night, Jay snuck into Nick's room and invited him to sleep with him in his room.  This morning I found Jay asleep in his bed and Nick sprawled across Jay's floor, sound asleep.  Nick gave Jay a big bear hug when he left this morning and despite the painful look on Jay's face he was happy to accept his brothers affection. 

And this is Jay's big leap of faith.  I'm so proud of him.  He's headed off for a week long mission trip.  This past year I put a lot of miles in my car driving Jay to small group on Wednesday nights.  It was not easy.  It required him eating on the run, balancing sports, homework and small group.  On Wednesdays he would leave the house at 7:30 for school and not get home until 8:30 at night but it was all so worth it.  He made friends with the boys in his small group and now they are off for a week to serve.  I pray he is a blessing to others and that he grows in his faith this week. 

For Tonight

This week has been sad.  Sad stories have surrounded me.  A family in a town not far from where I live were in a car accident on their way home from vacation.  Mom, dad and 14 year old twin boys.  The car accident took the lives of three of them except one of the 14 year old boys.  This boy has lost his entire family, his mother, his dad and his twin.  I can't even wrap my head around it.  I don't understand it and my heart aches for this boy.  I know they say that once one gets to heaven you never want to come back but as a mother I wonder about this.  Her baby is left here on earth, to try and tackle the rest of his life without his family.  My mom shared with me this week about a friend she knows with a boy the same age as my Nick who is battling leukemia.  Then another person I know who is my age and is approaching the one year anniversary of her husband's death is really struggling now.  She is raising 3 kids on her own and has many hard years of single parenting ahead of her.  All these issues make mine seem small, which they so are.  I know I must live each day to its fullest and be thankful for each and every day.  I try, boy do I try but sometimes I fail.  But for tonight I am glad to hear Jay and Nick's laughter on the trampoline.  I am thankful to see Mike throwing a football with the boys in the yard and I'm even thankful for the doorbell Nick keeps ringing as I type this, bugging me to come out and watch them play football.  So for tonight I'm signing off to watch some football between my three boys. 

He knows

I've been struggling with an issue in my life lately and partly I feel a bit defeated.  My prayer life suffered during vacation and when I got back from vacation I tried to get back in the swings of things, knowing full well I wasn't really "feeling it."  When I self reflected I realized the problem was too big and anything that is too big for me always overwhelms me.  I'm like a middle school student who can't organize his work.  Then this morning I read a devotion my mom had cut out for me (see mom, I do enjoy your crazy cut outs - sometimes).  Romans 8:26, "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."  Groans, I love it.  Groan, I can do and I usually add some sighs with it also.  The devotion (along with the bible verse) was from a mother's perspective.  She didn't know what to do for her son or even how to pray for him.  Don't we as mothers always feel like this during certain seasons of our lives?  She writes, "A deep ache grows in my heart as I walk the two blocks to church, the grief of a mother whose teenager's troubles stretch far beyond her ability to solve.  I try to articulate my feelings in prayer but cannot.  Not knowing what else to do, I shove the groan in my soul God-ward, as if to say, 'here, this is what I mean.  You know.' And God does." 

Nick's Bball camp

This week Nick has been involved in an all day basketball camp.  The picture above is Nick's friend, C. and his sister.  I was nervous about this camp because it's all day!  When Nick first learned he was going he asked if it was 6 hours.......Mike and I went with that and told him it was 6 hours.  Okay, Okay, we lied to our son, shame on us.  But 6 hours seemed to soften the blow a little bit because he pretty much had the big one when he found out he was going to an all day basketball camp.  The good news is Nick is really, really liking camp!!!  He is excited to go in the mornings and happy when he comes home.  I will say when he gets home at night he does nothing but eat like a horse and then lays on the couch.  Tomorrow is the last day of camp and then we'll fall back into our regular routine with Nick's tutor next week.

My final TN post (for 2014 anyway)

 And my final post.  I just included some random pictures.  We really did have a good time.  It's gotten to be an on going joke about what happens to us in TN.  The first year we went we had car trouble.  The second year the boys got HORRIBLY sick.  The third year Nick got dehydrated and it all turned out okay but it was scary for a few hours and this year my back went out.  Ugh.  The picture above made Jenny and I laugh so hard.  We were sitting by the side of the road with our adult beverages (again something you can only do in TN) and we were watching the kids rope swing.  I got tired of holding my drink so I found this little "drink holder" by the side of the road - only in TN. 

 Jay got these cinnamon roll pancakes.  They were huge and delicious.  He almost got through all of them but not quite. 

                                                             Jenny and I.  Curtis cropped the pic. 

 The 4 kiddos in their insanely expensive shirts that Nick suckered me into this winter.  At least I feel that they have gotten good use out of them. 

                                                           Love these four. Until next year.

Zip Lining

 On our last day in TN we went zip lining or at least the kids did with Mike Siebert.  This time Mike was designated the official grown up to lead the kids.  Ha.  I elected to sit this event out since my back was still jacked.  They got to zip across 3 lines and loved it.  I'm told Mike rode his lines upside down.  I've seen Mike do this before but this year I was glad I didn't witness it. 

The rope swing

 In all the years we've gone to TN we never discovered the rope swing.  This year it was discovered and was the biggest hit of the trip.  If you ask the kids what their favorite part of the trip was they would all say the rope swing.  Go figure.  It was countless hours of free entertainment.  That is the beauty of TN (for us anyway).  We go and pay for a nice cabin, purchase gas for our vehicle and buy groceries and go out to eat rarely.  Most of our "entertainment" is free which is just the way the kids like it; being one with nature.  Ha.  Rope swinging, hiking and clingman's dome cost us nothing. 

 Both Nick and Jay mastered the back flip off the rope swing.  Mike Ausili affectionately started calling Nick "Baby Bull."  Nick is one tough dude which probably comes from having an older brother.  Even Jay's friends comment that they never see Nick cry unless Jay makes him flaming mad, then he just turns bright ride.  After watching Nick glide off the rope swing effortless Jay started calling Nick, "Blond Eagle."  Ha.  As I'm blogging Nick is over my shoulder saying, "Man, I want to go off that rope swing again." 

 Although Nick is climbing the tree with his feet he often would wrap his legs around the tree and "shimmy" up the tree like a monkey.  He did discover after doing this several times that it left "battle wounds" all up his legs which normally Nick is proud of but turns out they were kind of painful.  ha.

 Even Mike A did a jump or two.  I'm told my husband did a jump too and got teased about his farmers tan.  I did not have the pleasure of seeing my 41 year old husband, farmers tan and all, jump off the rope swing but the boys did and they are still talking about it.

                                                                    Sweet Nick

 Check out Curtis........This picture makes me laugh.  Clearly Jay's rear end is a little close for Curtis' liking. 

Our TN hike

One thing we always due in TN is hike.  It's something all 8 of us enjoy doing.  The kids are usually 10 feet ahead of us and we nominate one adult to keep up with them - always a challenge.  But whoever that adult is, they get a work out.  This year it was Mike Ausili.  Snakes in TN were apparently heavy this year.  Jenny got up close and personal with one when she almost stepped on a rattle snake!  Thankfully she wasn't hurt but it scared her and me........my husband, however, didn't seem too bothered by it.  The hike this year was the most intense hike I've ever taken in TN.  It was straight up on very rough terrain and I mean very rough.  The bad news was I severely strained my back the morning before the hike but I refused to stay behind while everyone else went hiking which I probably should have done.  My back paid the price for it that night but it was a good hike and as always we loved the views.  An added bonus was the waterfall at the end of the hike. 

Clingman's Dome

 Every time I go to TN I'm overcome by its beauty.  I look out over the mountains and think that if TN looks like this then imagine what heaven might look like.  On our first full day in TN we went to Clingman's Dome.  It is a bit of a drive, about 7,500 feet up but part of the highlight of TN is our kids get to sit in Mike's truck bed during drives and they love it.  As we climbed in elevation the temperatures kept dropping.  Once we parked we had to walk about a half mile straight up to the dome.  Needless to say every time I go to TN I do not lack for exercise.  Once we got to the top the view was amazing.  I'm told you can see several states from the top but since I'm geographically challenged I didn't see any. 

 I have such a stupid smile on my face.  Jenny and I asked Jay to take this picture and he gave us no time.  I didn't even have time to suck in my stomach!  Boys!

Tennesse vacation - Year # 4

 We just got back from our TN vacation.  It was our fourth time we vacationed with the Ausili's and as always, we had a blast.  I wish I had a picture that I took of the four kids in 2010 (the first year we went to TN) but I don't have one on my computer.  Faith was 10, the two boys were 8 and Nick was 4.  This year Nick was the age Jay was when we first went.  My oh my how the kids have grown up.  Faith is 14, the boys are 12 and Nick is 8.  They bicker back and forth like siblings and that's just how they see each other.  They really are thick as thieves.  Love this bunch. 

 Jay went down with the Ausili's a day before Mike, Nick and I came.  The picture above was taken right before tubing and the picture below was taken during the travel time with Jay and Curtis.  So cute. 

 I had to snap this picture because my husband never wears orange and we all thought he looked rather nice in his orange.  Notice how Mike and Ausili are both smirking in this picture.

                                   The swing at our cabin is always a big hit with the kids. 

 I took this picture because I thought it was funny.  I have no idea what Curtis and Nick are looking at but knowing these two the were probably trying to pull something out of Curtis' foot.

                           Check out our "God, Guns, Glory" shirt.  The picture below says it all.

We had a lot of fun in TN.  We went to Clingman's Dome, hiked, zip lined and the big hit this year.....drum roll, please - Rope swinging into the river - kid you not.  It was good, free entertainment and the kids LOVED it.  More pictures to follow.